"Dave Hill" wrote in message
...
With the rain hammering down and snow just a few miles away, rather
than going out and creating even more mud I thought it was time for a
few garden related jokes.

Two friars are having trouble paying off the belfry, so they open a
florist shop.
Everyone wants to buy flowers from the men of God so business is
quickly booming.
The florist across town sees a huge drop in sales and asks the two
friars to close their shop,
but they refuse.
A month later the florist begs the friars to close because he’s having
trouble feeding his family.
Again, they refuse, so the florist hires Hugh McTaggert.
Hugh is the roughest, toughest thug in town and is hired to “persuade”
the friars to close.
Hugh asks the friars to close their florist shop.
When they refuse, he threatens to beat the crap out of them and wreck
their shop every day they remain open, so they close.
This proves once again that Hugh and only Hugh can prevent florist
friars.

Grass is just a flower bed in waiting

Two elderly ladies were sitting on a park bench outside the local town
hall where a flower show was in progress.
One leaned over and said, "Life is so boring. We never have any fun
anymore. For $5.00 I'd take my clothes off right now and streak
through that stupid flower show!"
"You're on!" said the other old lady, holding up a $5.00 bill.

As fast as she could, the first little old lady fumbled her way out of
her clothes and, completely naked, streaked through the front door of
the flower show.

Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the
hall, followed by loud applause. The naked lady burst out through the
door surrounded by a cheering crowd.

"What happened?" asked her waiting friend.
"Why, I won first prize for Best Dried Arrangement."

David Hill

.................................................. ..............
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement centre
were sitting on a bench under a tree when one
turns to the other and says,

"Sam, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of
aches and pains. I know you're about my age.
How do you feel?"

Sam says, "Well, I feel just like a new-born baby."

"Really!? Like a baby!?"

"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet myself.


--
Mike

The Royal Naval Electrical Branch Association
www.rneba.org.uk
Luxury Self Catering on the Isle of Wight?
www.shanklinmanormews.co.uk