Steve J wrote:
I seem to have a family of rats living under my shed, and this is
freaking out my dearest wife!

Is it legal to buy and use rat poison, or do you have to call in a
pest control expert?

Any advice appreciated, thanks.

Steve J

In asking that question here you have clearly demonstrated that you are not
afraid to think outside the box. There could well be psychics who read
rec.gardens who know where you live, and who know what the law is there
regarding the use of rat poison and freaking wives. Before you start
looking up "wet work" in the yellow pages there is a solution that will save
you from jail and bad karma.

Instead of buying poison or paying for professional control, try comfort
your wife instead. You have to begin by getting yourself into the right
head space. If you can manage it not thinking of her as a pest will help.
This can all be done using natural ingredients and avoiding products (or
members) of the military-industrial complex.

Start with dolphin-friendly chocolates and flowers. Then move on to
biodynamic champagne, followed by scented green candles and a full body
organic massage. Depending on how organic your massage is she may want
treatment several times a week.

David