Sacha wrote in :

On 2011-01-30 13:42:29 +0000, Baz said:

kay wrote in news:kay.7ba3096
@gardenbanter.co.uk:


'Baz[_3_ Wrote:
;911412']I am moving to Isleworth.
My OH and me can't agree on anything these days, so I am going with
my daughter to this new and hopefully better place.


Very sad for all involved when relationships run into the sand. Hope
you settle down quickly to your new life, and hope to see you back
here soon.





Looks like I acted in haste.
I have never been a big drinker and have been told that ever since I
have been off work with medical problems, I am rarely completely
sober. I have become argumentative and difficult to live with
apparently. On the way down to London my daughter never gave it a
rest, and on the way back to N.lincs to deliver the van we used to
move, it was worse(if that is possible)
My daughter is going to live in married quarters in Clapham. Miles
away from where we first were told. We were told Hounslow, and that's
why I had the idea of Isleworth.
I am still going to make sure my daughter fits in with the life she
is choosing, no, forced to choose if she is to accept the man she
clearly loves so much more than her familly. As is always the case.

Baz

Baz, I'm sorry to write this to you but if your family think you're
drinking too much, you probably are. I say this because a member of
our extended family died very suddenly of drink several months ago.
Her husband was drinking extremely heavily, too but her death has
shocked him so much that for the first time since his teens (he's now
in his 50s) he's stopped drinking having had every single one of his
closest relatives tell him his drinking was out of control for years
and years and years, since he was 18.

I am NOT saying that you're at this level but if your drinking is
causing family problems, then you need to consult someone professional
outside the family and think about this very seriously. It may be
that you're suffering from depression and that the drinking is a
symptom of that. If so, a doctor can help you overcome that if you'll
get that help.

All of us can wish you well and I think you see that we do, but none
of us can help you in a practical fashion and your family seems to
want to do that. Of course your daughter is going to live the life
she needs/wants to live with the man she loves. It's what grown up
children do. You did it and now your daughter is doing it. SHE is
the child, NOT you. She is not responsible for you. It's called
"flying the nest" and it's normal. What is more, Baz and this is
really important, you taking charge of your own fate is tough love but
it's essential to your future well-being. if your daughter helps you
to continue drinking - however she does that - or neighbours buy you
the bottles of hooch when you're unable to do so yourself because you
can't get out of your chair and use your own feet or drive your own
car, they're hastening your end. Anyone who says "no" to you is
someone who loves you enough to do so. I wish you every kind of well.

Point(s) taken.

Yes I realise that depression has a bit of a grip on most of our familly
now. My daughter has always clinged to me and has asked me to be with her
through thick and thin. My son is the same with his mother.
The only difference is that my lovely daughter is "going out of tovn" and
wants daddy with her, I have never spoilt her with consumer goods or any
other material sh*t, teens crave. I am going to be there for her for as
long as she needs me.
Drinking alcohol has been a stopgap. I am in control of my consumption,
but thanks for the effort you have put in, to advise me.

Baz