"Sacha" wrote in message
...
On 2011-03-22 15:49:10 +0000, Sally Thompson
said:
On Mon, 21 Mar 2011 21:21:15 +0000, Paul C wrote
(in article ):
'Baz[_3_ Wrote: ;915543']Paul C
wrote in
news:Paul.C.7fa75b6
@gardenbanter.co.uk:
-
Hi, I wonder if any one can offer guidance on a problem that I have
with
a neighbour. A number of years ago we bought our house of a lady who
moved into the cottage next door. What we hadn't appreciated was that
she would (in our opinion) struggle to watch someone else do things
differently in her former property. We have a shared boundary and in
the
past few years have experienced any number of issues with her apparent
disregard for that boundary.
On one part of the boundary fence we have a very well established
ceanothus which does not extend over fence into her garden but has
grown
to about 18ins above the height of the fence. It also extends about 3
or
4 feet back into our garden. A couple of days ago I discovered that
our
neighbour had used a power tool with a long handled extension to lean
over into our garden and cut away the shrub so that no part of it is
above the line of the fence. When I challenged her about it she said
it
had been annoying her, when I pointed out that she had no right to do
that and would she please stop interfering with us and our garden she
simply said " what are you going to do about it" and "get a life".
Bearing in mind that this lady has a laurel hedge on the same boundary
fence that is at least 3 feet above the fence line and we have
absolutely no issue with it, we are struggling to understand why she
feels the need to do these things, but more importantly we just want
her
to stop. It is only a hedge, and we don't want to " lose the plot"
but
this is just one of a series of incidents and is beginning to get us
down. We have no interest in " tit for tat" activities but we do need
to
do something to make this stop.
Any thoughts would be much appreciated.
Paul
-
You could try befriending her. She might be lonely and seeking
attention.
Cut some flowers that you might have, invite her over for drinks or a
meal.
You might enjoy her company.
Of course she might be a stubborn and spiteful old bat, but I have
found a
little bit of friendliness can soften the hardest heart.
Baz
Thank you to everyone for taking the time to post comments.
We'veactually
been in this situation for several years, ( and to the personwho
mentioned
that "its just a few twigs" there have been a series ofincidents). We've
tried befriending her, a bottle of wine at Xmas etc,as a family we
helped her
when she had intruders in a field that sheowns and my son in particular
spent
quite alot of time helping to clearup. She runs a successful antiques
business and I honestly don't believethat she has dementia, she is just
used
to getting her own way anddoesn't have time for people who disagree with
her.
In the greater scheme of things it isn't massively important, its
justnot
very pleasant to have someone damage parts of your property and thenlook
you
in the eye and say " so what are you going to do about it".
I'll sleep on it for a few days and then decide what to do.
Many thanks
Not been on here for a while and have only just seen this, but we had a
similar situation with a neighbour cutting our mixed hedge (during the
nesting season too) well over the boundary.
What we actually did was to put in a 2 metre high fence on the boundary.
I
appreciate that you already have a fence, but it might be worth replacing
it
with a higher one that she cannot reach over.
That way you have solved the problem without any nastiness.
And possibly a plastic coated metal one that can't be hacked back with
shears or easily damaged? Grow very prickly things on the boundary? Or
simply say that this behaviour is unacceptable, you don't want things to
escalate but if you have to take further steps you will - all done
politely, pleasantly but firmly. It sounds to me as if she's trying it
on. I think the fact you've posted here in a calm fashion, asking for
help and advice, indicates you're not likely to go off the deep end and
she knows it but likes something to 'shove against'. Perhaps it's time
for a gentle 'shove' back. I have known another elderly woman who
actually 'needed' someone to fight with, strong-minded, intelligent, used
to getting her own way etc. This sounds like just such another. A firm
but polite approach in which you hold your ground may be needed here.
--
Sacha
South Devon
Like I said before right at the beginning of the thread .......
""""Paul if it has gone this far and now 'looks' as if it might get nasty
without 'action from outside' to put her in her place, and let's face it,
what she has done is certainly not on, then I would do what I did before
when I had a bit of neighbour problem. A Solicitor's letter. I had a very
large garden with 28 gardens backing onto it. 26 superb and I spent hours
chatting to them instead of working, however, 2 needed a letter. One was
coming onto the land and scattering rubbish which included bricks etc, the
other didn't want the hedge I put on the boundary and ran across the bottom
of their garden and sprayed weed killer on it.
Put a stop to both of them. They've got flats there now instead ;-)
Kindest POSSIBLE regards
Mike
:-)))
And what a wonderful day it has been :-))
--
....................................
Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive
....................................