On Tue, 22 Mar 2011 15:22:51 -0700 (PDT), Dave Hill
wrote:

So Homebase are offering a 5 year guarantee on perenial plants, it
will be interesting to see what plants are excluded from this offer.
David Hill

Sir. Thank you for bringing this dead plant back to us with the
receipt which you so miraculously haven't lost. But is this the actual
plant that you bought from us or is it another plant that's died?
Really we need the plant to be in the pot in which we sold it.

Later ....

Sir thank you for bringing the pot in which we sold the plant back to
us. We'll be happy to refund your money if you can prove to us that
you planted the plant in the right soil, with the right light
requirements, and that you watered it exactly as the instructions
printed on the label attached to the pot specified - I'm sorry to see
that that label has fallen off the pot. What, sir? You don't remember
that label being on the pot? I'm sure every plant we sold three years
ago had a watering label.

Later ....

Sir, the small print at the bottom of the terms and conditions notice
that we display clearly on the floor under that shelf over there,
clearly states that we will exchange any plant that fails to flower
for five years provided you return the plant in the condition in which
you bought it from us. This plant looks dead so cannot be in the
condition in which we sold it.

Yeah! When you read the small print, probably every plant is excluded
unless it died between the checkout and the exit door!