Terry Pinnell wrote:
There's a wasps' nest in my garden - a hole (maybe two, close
together) on a sloping section of rough lawn. On two visits to
Homebase a fortnight apart they had no stocks of their 'Wasp nest
killer', £5.99, or indeed *any* wasp destruction product. Meanwhile
it struck me that there must be several ways I should be able to do
this myself. So I'm here to seek suggestions please.

My own initial thoughts a

1. Put a plastic bag and a something heavy over the top to suffocate
and prevent entry.

2. Pour fine sand or similar into the hole, with same objective.

3. Position a hose over the hole and trickle water into it to drown
inhabitants and presumably make re-entry of others unlikely, even
after hose switched off and water drains away.

4. Stuff some dry newspaper into the hole, douse it with paraffin and
light it, with similar comments to #3.

You will need a large vat and several pounds of cotton wool. Fill the vat
with one part nitric acid to three parts sulphuric acid; when fully mixed,
add the cotton wool. Leave for 24 hours.

Remove the cotton wool from the acids and place in a bath of water; then
wash thoroughly in running water. Now dry it thoroughly- an unventilated
steel shed is ideal for this. When it is thoroughly dry, have your least
favourite child pack the cotton wool into the wasp nest hole and then apply
a naked flame at arms length.

The ensuing explosion will spread angry wasps to every corner of your
garden, but will also destroy the nest; now homeless, they will lapse into
depression, become addicted to drink and drugs and die.

The remains of the least favoured child may be disposed of either in the
remaining acid, or the crater, as is most convenient.


Ian