An Oztraylian Xmas
I penned the following piece of doggerel to wish you one and all a
very Merry Xmas even if I wish it was all over for the year. Fran An Oztraylian Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house Not a creature was stirring not even a louse The stockings were hung on the back of the chair The weather so hot the dogs took to their lair Typical Christmas, all heat, dust and flies I dream of cold beers all served up on ice It's out with the gas tank the barbie to light Whilst all round the land's a terrible sight Seldom before has there been such a drought Dire warning the weathermen sprout. "Worse before better" they all seem to say I look in "The Land" to buy extra hay. No fodder listed there to be bought Oh I wish we hadn't been caught With sheds that are empty of all but the rats Which fight like the demon with feral cats. So it's out with the "dry feedpass" blocks As like all other farmers we tear out our locks. "What use is our hair" we mutter and stare At paddocks that simply remain ever bare. The blocks will convert dry standing feed To nourish empty guts in terrible need. Please send us some rain dear old St Nick And lend us some hay but do so real quick. St Nick is reputed to grant us our wish Please don't say it's all a great trick. Santa, St Nick or just Kris Kringle (He MUST have a wife he'd hardly be single!) Perhaps I should simply get onto Herself And, provided she's not having sex with an elf, Surely she'd listen to a cry from the heart (But maybe she's just a silly old fart??). Dear Mrs St Nick Please be a great brick Get your man to desist, Lets get down to the grist, We don't want the fat man, the elves or the sled Too great a weight for the roof of the shed Gifts all ephemeral Animal or mineral Are not welcome here At this time of the year. Please send us some water To avoid needless slaughter Our breeders are light They look such a fright A bloody good storm burst Just might quench our thirst But it's inches we need For to bring on the feed. The cattle are gaunt as shags on a rock, The fire threat causes us to take stock, The pump is all primed and the hose it is set For if a fire roars in like a jet Summer in Oztraylia sure is such fun So sodding hot one can scarce raise a run Fire and pestilence, flies sun and dust No bloomin wonder we're all nearly bust. So it's merry Christmas and all that guff Pretty it's simply so bloody rough! |
An Oztraylian Xmas
Farm1 wrote:
I penned the following piece of doggerel to wish you one and all a very Merry Xmas even if I wish it was all over for the year. Fran An Oztraylian Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house Not a creature was stirring not even a louse The stockings were hung on the back of the chair The weather so hot the dogs took to their lair Typical Christmas, all heat, dust and flies I dream of cold beers all served up on ice It's out with the gas tank the barbie to light Whilst all round the land's a terrible sight Seldom before has there been such a drought Dire warning the weathermen sprout. "Worse before better" they all seem to say I look in "The Land" to buy extra hay. No fodder listed there to be bought Oh I wish we hadn't been caught With sheds that are empty of all but the rats Which fight like the demon with feral cats. So it's out with the "dry feedpass" blocks As like all other farmers we tear out our locks. "What use is our hair" we mutter and stare At paddocks that simply remain ever bare. The blocks will convert dry standing feed To nourish empty guts in terrible need. Please send us some rain dear old St Nick And lend us some hay but do so real quick. St Nick is reputed to grant us our wish Please don't say it's all a great trick. Santa, St Nick or just Kris Kringle (He MUST have a wife he'd hardly be single!) Perhaps I should simply get onto Herself And, provided she's not having sex with an elf, Surely she'd listen to a cry from the heart (But maybe she's just a silly old fart??). Dear Mrs St Nick Please be a great brick Get your man to desist, Lets get down to the grist, We don't want the fat man, the elves or the sled Too great a weight for the roof of the shed Gifts all ephemeral Animal or mineral Are not welcome here At this time of the year. Please send us some water To avoid needless slaughter Our breeders are light They look such a fright A bloody good storm burst Just might quench our thirst But it's inches we need For to bring on the feed. The cattle are gaunt as shags on a rock, The fire threat causes us to take stock, The pump is all primed and the hose it is set For if a fire roars in like a jet Summer in Oztraylia sure is such fun So sodding hot one can scarce raise a run Fire and pestilence, flies sun and dust No bloomin wonder we're all nearly bust. So it's merry Christmas and all that guff Pretty it's simply so bloody rough! Yeah this is so darn depressing I thought I'd find a site And did so without messing. A google here and a google there and, like magic heres your christmas Koala bear http://www.thekoala.com/ausxmas.htm Neat aussie site for everything Christ missy in Australia |
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