I hate grass
 

Ah, g'day... my name is Eddie Luck and I'm a gardener!

In my garden I have no grass. There are two little boys who live next door
and they hate me. They call me fat old man and throw their tennis balls in
my garden just so they can steal my chokos and throw them on the ground.

They call my garden a desert. One of the boys is called Johnny and once I
grabbed him and tortured him in my shed. I forced him to drink Roundup. He
found my pile of dead magpies and he called the police. I hate that boy.
One day I'm going to hurt him seriously.

There used to be lots of trees in my backyard but I chopped them all down,
and spray Roundup on the bare ground every week to make sure it is all dead.
I also go over the ground with my rotary hoe until every clump is smashed
into dust.

I have a few rows of vegetables, mostly pumpkins and tomatoes. I water them
with greywater and the leaves get covered in muck and undissolved soap
powder. Last year was the first time I got an edible pumpkin. It was
nearly as big as an apple and I shared it with Surveillance.

Surveillance is my wife and she wears a blue and white dress. She's really
fat too because we eat pork almost exclusively. Pork is really good for you
and we eat a lot. We blend the fat into a refreshing cold drink too. I
have the recipe if you want it.

I have to go now. Surveillance has detected Johnny in my backyard getting
his cricket ball. I'm going to hurt him really badly.

Eddie

I hate grass
 

On Thu, 22 Jan 2004 01:49:03 +0000, Eddie Luck wrote:

Ah, g'day... my name is Eddie Luck and I'm a gardener!

In my garden I have no grass. There are two little boys who live next
door and they hate me. They call me fat old man and throw their tennis
balls in my garden just so they can steal my chokos and throw them on the
ground.

They call my garden a desert. One of the boys is called Johnny and once I
grabbed him and tortured him in my shed. I forced him to drink Roundup.
He found my pile of dead magpies and he called the police. I hate that
boy. One day I'm going to hurt him seriously.

There used to be lots of trees in my backyard but I chopped them all down,
and spray Roundup on the bare ground every week to make sure it is all
dead. I also go over the ground with my rotary hoe until every clump is
smashed into dust.

I have a few rows of vegetables, mostly pumpkins and tomatoes. I water
them with greywater and the leaves get covered in muck and undissolved
soap powder. Last year was the first time I got an edible pumpkin. It
was nearly as big as an apple and I shared it with Surveillance.

Surveillance is my wife and she wears a blue and white dress. She's
really fat too because we eat pork almost exclusively. Pork is really
good for you and we eat a lot. We blend the fat into a refreshing cold
drink too. I have the recipe if you want it.

I have to go now. Surveillance has detected Johnny in my backyard getting
his cricket ball. I'm going to hurt him really badly.

Eddie

At least you should have some ornamental grasses to carry your garden
through the seasons. Piet Outdolf has a great book: Gardening with
Grasses. He uses grasses and then plugs the holes with perennials and
surprises.

I hate grass
 

"C" wrote in message
...
On Thu, 22 Jan 2004 01:49:03 +0000, Eddie Luck wrote:

Ah, g'day... my name is Eddie Luck and I'm a gardener!

In my garden I have no grass. There are two little boys who
live next
door and they hate me. They call me fat old man and throw
their tennis
balls in my garden just so they can steal my chokos and throw
them on the
ground.

snip


Eddie

At least you should have some ornamental grasses to carry your
garden
through the seasons. Piet Outdolf has a great book: Gardening
with
Grasses. He uses grasses and then plugs the holes with
perennials and
surprises.

I suspect the only grass this guy favors isn't the mowing kind.
;-)

Jim Lewis - - Tallahassee, FL - Apples and
Oranges: A Demonstration -- Welcome to Hooterville! Population:
2000. Elevation: 3000. Established: 1850. TOTAL = 6850 -- Bob
Lilienfield

I hate grass
 

Eddie Luck wrote:

Ah, g'day... my name is Eddie Luck and I'm a gardener!

In my garden I have no grass. There are two little boys who live next door
and they hate me. They call me fat old man and throw their tennis balls in
my garden just so they can steal my chokos and throw them on the ground.

They call my garden a desert. One of the boys is called Johnny and once I
grabbed him and tortured him in my shed. I forced him to drink Roundup. He
found my pile of dead magpies and he called the police. I hate that boy.
One day I'm going to hurt him seriously.

There used to be lots of trees in my backyard but I chopped them all down,
and spray Roundup on the bare ground every week to make sure it is all dead.
I also go over the ground with my rotary hoe until every clump is smashed
into dust.

I have a few rows of vegetables, mostly pumpkins and tomatoes. I water them
with greywater and the leaves get covered in muck and undissolved soap
powder. Last year was the first time I got an edible pumpkin. It was
nearly as big as an apple and I shared it with Surveillance.

Surveillance is my wife and she wears a blue and white dress. She's really
fat too because we eat pork almost exclusively. Pork is really good for you
and we eat a lot. We blend the fat into a refreshing cold drink too. I
have the recipe if you want it.

I have to go now. Surveillance has detected Johnny in my backyard getting
his cricket ball. I'm going to hurt him really badly.

Eddie

Snif... That was beautiful, Eddie! Brought a tear to my nose! I especially liked
the paragraph about the Pork and wondered whether you'd be so kind as to post
the recipe for your cool, refreshing, rendered fat drink? Something we'd all
love to share, I'm sure!

Please give our best regards to dear Surveillance! Perhaps in the New Year she
might shop for a new dress? I'm sure she's a vision of loveliness, either way.

Cheers!
--
Trish {|:-}
Newcastle, NSW, Australia

I hate grass
 

On Wed, 21 Jan 2004 21:31:15 -0500, Jim Lewis wrote:


"C" wrote in message
...
On Thu, 22 Jan 2004 01:49:03 +0000, Eddie Luck wrote:

Ah, g'day... my name is Eddie Luck and I'm a gardener!

In my garden I have no grass. There are two little boys who
live next
door and they hate me. They call me fat old man and throw
their tennis
balls in my garden just so they can steal my chokos and throw
them on the
ground.

snip


Eddie

At least you should have some ornamental grasses to carry your
garden
through the seasons. Piet Outdolf has a great book: Gardening
with
Grasses. He uses grasses and then plugs the holes with
perennials and
surprises.

I suspect the only grass this guy favors isn't the mowing kind. ;-)

Jim Lewis - - Tallahassee, FL - Apples and Oranges: A
Demonstration -- Welcome to Hooterville! Population: 2000. Elevation:
3000. Established: 1850. TOTAL = 6850 -- Bob Lilienfield


Methinks you are right. Pass the bong.

I hate grass
 

Hey pork chop,

I bet you spent quite a bit of your useless life smoking grass and abusing
yourself huffing pesticides!!!

Would recommend that you grow spiny cactus in your desert garden but you
seem so antisocial that you probably even hate prickly pears just because of
the name!!



Eddie Luck wrote in message
...
Ah, g'day... my name is Eddie Luck and I'm a gardener!

In my garden I have no grass. There are two little boys who live next
door
and they hate me. They call me fat old man and throw their tennis balls
in
my garden just so they can steal my chokos and throw them on the ground.

They call my garden a desert. One of the boys is called Johnny and once I
grabbed him and tortured him in my shed. I forced him to drink Roundup.
He
found my pile of dead magpies and he called the police. I hate that boy.
One day I'm going to hurt him seriously.

There used to be lots of trees in my backyard but I chopped them all down,
and spray Roundup on the bare ground every week to make sure it is all
dead.
I also go over the ground with my rotary hoe until every clump is smashed
into dust.

I have a few rows of vegetables, mostly pumpkins and tomatoes. I water
them
with greywater and the leaves get covered in muck and undissolved soap
powder. Last year was the first time I got an edible pumpkin. It was
nearly as big as an apple and I shared it with Surveillance.

Surveillance is my wife and she wears a blue and white dress. She's
really
fat too because we eat pork almost exclusively. Pork is really good for
you
and we eat a lot. We blend the fat into a refreshing cold drink too. I
have the recipe if you want it.

I have to go now. Surveillance has detected Johnny in my backyard getting
his cricket ball. I'm going to hurt him really badly.

Eddie

I hate grass
 

"Trish Brown" wrote in message
...
Eddie Luck wrote:

Ah, g'day... my name is Eddie Luck and I'm a gardener!

In my garden I have no grass. There are two little boys who live next
door
and they hate me. They call me fat old man and throw their tennis balls
in
my garden just so they can steal my chokos and throw them on the ground.

They call my garden a desert. One of the boys is called Johnny and once
I
grabbed him and tortured him in my shed. I forced him to drink Roundup.
He
found my pile of dead magpies and he called the police. I hate that
boy.
One day I'm going to hurt him seriously.

There used to be lots of trees in my backyard but I chopped them all
down,
and spray Roundup on the bare ground every week to make sure it is all
dead.
I also go over the ground with my rotary hoe until every clump is
smashed
into dust.

I have a few rows of vegetables, mostly pumpkins and tomatoes. I water
them
with greywater and the leaves get covered in muck and undissolved soap
powder. Last year was the first time I got an edible pumpkin. It was
nearly as big as an apple and I shared it with Surveillance.

Surveillance is my wife and she wears a blue and white dress. She's
really
fat too because we eat pork almost exclusively. Pork is really good for
you
and we eat a lot. We blend the fat into a refreshing cold drink too. I
have the recipe if you want it.

I have to go now. Surveillance has detected Johnny in my backyard
getting
his cricket ball. I'm going to hurt him really badly.

Eddie

Snif... That was beautiful, Eddie! Brought a tear to my nose! I especially
liked
the paragraph about the Pork and wondered whether you'd be so kind as to
post
the recipe for your cool, refreshing, rendered fat drink? Something we'd
all
love to share, I'm sure!

Please give our best regards to dear Surveillance! Perhaps in the New Year
she
might shop for a new dress? I'm sure she's a vision of loveliness, either
way.

Cheers!
--
Trish {|:-}
Newcastle, NSW, Australia

G'Day Trish!

Thank you for your sweet words.

Recipe for Refreshing Pork Beverage

1 cup pork fat
1/2 cup methylated spirits
1/2 cup crushed ice

Place all ingredients into blender. Blend ingredients thoroughly until
spirits have permeated mixture and pork fat is homogenized with wet
ingredients. Serve with a slice of lemon. Ideal after a hard day's work or
as an icy treat after the kids have gone to bed. Share it with your lover.

I hate grass
 

I'm just curious.... why are you guys encouraging a TROLL?

DKat

I hate grass
 

well that was creative and refreshing. You could do better if you watched
Fear Factor....................
maddie
"Eddie Luck" wrote in message
...
Ah, g'day... my name is Eddie Luck and I'm a gardener!

In my garden I have no grass. There are two little boys who live next
door
and they hate me. They call me fat old man and throw their tennis balls
in
my garden just so they can steal my chokos and throw them on the ground.

They call my garden a desert. One of the boys is called Johnny and once I
grabbed him and tortured him in my shed. I forced him to drink Roundup.
He
found my pile of dead magpies and he called the police. I hate that boy.
One day I'm going to hurt him seriously.

There used to be lots of trees in my backyard but I chopped them all down,
and spray Roundup on the bare ground every week to make sure it is all
dead.
I also go over the ground with my rotary hoe until every clump is smashed
into dust.

I have a few rows of vegetables, mostly pumpkins and tomatoes. I water
them
with greywater and the leaves get covered in muck and undissolved soap
powder. Last year was the first time I got an edible pumpkin. It was
nearly as big as an apple and I shared it with Surveillance.

Surveillance is my wife and she wears a blue and white dress. She's
really
fat too because we eat pork almost exclusively. Pork is really good for
you
and we eat a lot. We blend the fat into a refreshing cold drink too. I
have the recipe if you want it.

I have to go now. Surveillance has detected Johnny in my backyard getting
his cricket ball. I'm going to hurt him really badly.

Eddie

I hate grass
 

boredom? fun poking sticks at the animal? gbseg
maddie
"D Kat" wrote in message
...
I'm just curious.... why are you guys encouraging a TROLL?

DKat

I hate grass
 

well that was creative and refreshing. You could do better if you watched
Fear Factor....................
maddie
"Eddie Luck" wrote in message
...
Ah, g'day... my name is Eddie Luck and I'm a gardener!

In my garden I have no grass. There are two little boys who live next
door
and they hate me. They call me fat old man and throw their tennis balls
in
my garden just so they can steal my chokos and throw them on the ground.

They call my garden a desert. One of the boys is called Johnny and once I
grabbed him and tortured him in my shed. I forced him to drink Roundup.
He
found my pile of dead magpies and he called the police. I hate that boy.
One day I'm going to hurt him seriously.

There used to be lots of trees in my backyard but I chopped them all down,
and spray Roundup on the bare ground every week to make sure it is all
dead.
I also go over the ground with my rotary hoe until every clump is smashed
into dust.

I have a few rows of vegetables, mostly pumpkins and tomatoes. I water
them
with greywater and the leaves get covered in muck and undissolved soap
powder. Last year was the first time I got an edible pumpkin. It was
nearly as big as an apple and I shared it with Surveillance.

Surveillance is my wife and she wears a blue and white dress. She's
really
fat too because we eat pork almost exclusively. Pork is really good for
you
and we eat a lot. We blend the fat into a refreshing cold drink too. I
have the recipe if you want it.

I have to go now. Surveillance has detected Johnny in my backyard getting
his cricket ball. I'm going to hurt him really badly.

Eddie

I hate grass
 

boredom? fun poking sticks at the animal? gbseg
maddie
"D Kat" wrote in message
...
I'm just curious.... why are you guys encouraging a TROLL?

DKat

I hate grass
 

I don't suppose you ever saw "Men on the Side"? I highly recommend it. My
favorite line in it is "Don't tease the animals!" but it will only bring a
BG to your face if you have seen the film... DKat

"madgardener" wrote in message
...
boredom? fun poking sticks at the animal? gbseg
maddie
"D Kat" wrote in message
...
I'm just curious.... why are you guys encouraging a TROLL?

DKat

I hate grass
 

I don't suppose you ever saw "Men on the Side"? I highly recommend it. My
favorite line in it is "Don't tease the animals!" but it will only bring a
BG to your face if you have seen the film... DKat

"madgardener" wrote in message
...
boredom? fun poking sticks at the animal? gbseg
maddie
"D Kat" wrote in message
...
I'm just curious.... why are you guys encouraging a TROLL?

DKat

I hate grass
 

I don't suppose you ever saw "Men on the Side"? I highly recommend it. My
favorite line in it is "Don't tease the animals!" but it will only bring a
BG to your face if you have seen the film... DKat

"madgardener" wrote in message
...
boredom? fun poking sticks at the animal? gbseg
maddie
"D Kat" wrote in message
...
I'm just curious.... why are you guys encouraging a TROLL?

DKat