I have happened upon a somewhat embarrassing situation. I am an organic
gardener living in Sydney, Australia. I live outside the greater Sydney
area and am afforded a somewhat suburban living. My nearest neighbor is
roughly 3 km away from my home. I thought I was alone the other evening
at dusk and as I always do, I went out to my compost pile to take a
dump. Yes, thats right. I grunt right smack dab in the middle of the
compost heap. After all, it it's good enough for donkey dung and cattle
feces then my human offerings won't hurt things. Besides, I eat only
organic foods. My droppings are actually healthy.
If I consumed a lot of meat on a regular basis then I could understand
some of you presenting an argument against my technique but I literally
shite carrots and bell peppers. They're just recycled. Thats all. My
neighbor caught me. I had just squated down and commenced to business
when he walked around to the back yard and saw me. I knew I should have
waited until it was all of the way dark before I unleashed my brown
gold. Startled, he pretended not to see me and beat a hasty retreat.
I was afraid that he find out my secret ingrediant that produced much
bigger produce than his. What should I do now? Should I lie and say the
plumbing went out?


Ian