The Gardeners Anonymous Creed

I want it.

I want it all.

I want it now.

If it will not grow in my zone or is prohibitively expensive, I want
it most of all.

I am perfectly willing to forego any necessities of life such as food
for my children in order to have it.

I recognize my horticultural dependency.

I recognize your horticultural dependency.

I will willingly aid and abet your dependency, as you aid and abet
mine. This makes us infinitely happy.

All money saved by virtue of comparison shopping equals found money
and is therefore not counted as spending.

If everyone else has it, I must have it too.

If no one else has it, I must get it first.

If I have planted everything I have already purchased, I must
immediately buy more plants.

....At this point, it is customary to recite your visa number from
memory