OT - Missed you all ... will be back soon
Hello everyone,
Sorry I've been absent for a while. RG and I have been travelling to and from Yorkshire (where my father lived)since the beginning of March. Sadly, my dear father died on Sunday, 11th April after a long illness. His funeral was on the the 21st. It has been very hard to see him suffer, and harder still to deal with his death. He was hugely important to me; my hero and mentor, as well as an adored father. I am currently trying to catch up with post-funeral correspondence, domestic and gardening jobs, but finding it rather overwhelming. I now occasionally lurk, and certainly hope to return before too long. Enjoy gardening in this lovely spring weather. -- Spider |
OT - Missed you all ... will be back soon
"Spider" wrote ... Sorry I've been absent for a while. RG and I have been travelling to and from Yorkshire (where my father lived)since the beginning of March. Sadly, my dear father died on Sunday, 11th April after a long illness. His funeral was on the the 21st. It has been very hard to see him suffer, and harder still to deal with his death. He was hugely important to me; my hero and mentor, as well as an adored father. I am currently trying to catch up with post-funeral correspondence, domestic and gardening jobs, but finding it rather overwhelming. I now occasionally lurk, and certainly hope to return before too long. Enjoy gardening in this lovely spring weather. We have all been (or will be) there too so you are not alone. Best wishes, time is a great healer. Obtaining Probate or Letters of Administration can be a long winded and frustrating experience but having done it a number of times it does get easier if you just work away methodically and ignore the amount of time it's taking. Even more frustrating if you use a Solicitor! -- Regards Bob Hobden W.of London. UK |
OT - Missed you all ... will be back soon
"Spider" wrote in message
... Hello everyone, Sorry I've been absent for a while. RG and I have been travelling to and from Yorkshire (where my father lived)since the beginning of March. Sadly, my dear father died on Sunday, 11th April after a long illness. His funeral was on the the 21st. It has been very hard to see him suffer, and harder still to deal with his death. He was hugely important to me; my hero and mentor, as well as an adored father. Sorry to read your news Spider. I know what it feels like as I went through the same thing with my Dad two years ago. His final illness was short, but he had six months of heartbreak after Mum died. Blessings to you and your family. Good gardening. -- Kathy |
OT - Missed you all ... will be back soon
On 26/04/2010 18:06, Sacha wrote:
On 2010-04-26 17:21:59 +0100, Spider said: Hello everyone, Sorry I've been absent for a while. RG and I have been travelling to and from Yorkshire (where my father lived)since the beginning of March. Sadly, my dear father died on Sunday, 11th April after a long illness. His funeral was on the the 21st. It has been very hard to see him suffer, and harder still to deal with his death. He was hugely important to me; my hero and mentor, as well as an adored father. I am currently trying to catch up with post-funeral correspondence, domestic and gardening jobs, but finding it rather overwhelming. I now occasionally lurk, and certainly hope to return before too long. Enjoy gardening in this lovely spring weather. I'm very sorry to hear all this, Spider. I did wonder where you'd got to and am so sorry to hear that you were absent for a sad reason like this. I'd hoped you might be off on a wonderful holiday. I hope your lovely memories are a consolation to you in time to come. -- Spider from high ground in SE London gardening on clay Thank you, Sacha. Yes, there are some good memories to draw on, although they're still mingled with the sad ones just now. Thankfully, I can still laugh at some of the things he said or did, and I have his letters and everything he taught me. As to that holiday .. well, we have a very pleasant week arranged in a few weeks, and it will be good to get away and have a complete rest. Spider |
OT - Missed you all ... will be back soon
On 26/04/2010 22:42, Bob Hobden wrote:
"Spider" wrote ... Sorry I've been absent for a while. RG and I have been travelling to and from Yorkshire (where my father lived)since the beginning of March. Sadly, my dear father died on Sunday, 11th April after a long illness. His funeral was on the the 21st. It has been very hard to see him suffer, and harder still to deal with his death. He was hugely important to me; my hero and mentor, as well as an adored father. I am currently trying to catch up with post-funeral correspondence, domestic and gardening jobs, but finding it rather overwhelming. I now occasionally lurk, and certainly hope to return before too long. Enjoy gardening in this lovely spring weather. We have all been (or will be) there too so you are not alone. Best wishes, time is a great healer. Obtaining Probate or Letters of Administration can be a long winded and frustrating experience but having done it a number of times it does get easier if you just work away methodically and ignore the amount of time it's taking. Even more frustrating if you use a Solicitor! Thank you, Bob. I know you're right about the time thing, and I'm just taking it gently at the moment. Mmmm. Thanks for the warning, but we're obliged to use my father's solicitor as executor, firstly because we're so far away and, secondly, because we're aware of two family members who may make diy management fraught with unworthy expectations. We want to avoid any unpleasant accusations. We will, of course, keep a somewhat remote eye on proceedings up't'north. Nevertheless, we still have peripheral paperwork and many thank yous for everyone's kindness. Family and friends have been so supportive. Thanks once again. -- Spider from high ground in SE London gardening on clay |
OT - Missed you all ... will be back soon
On 26/04/2010 23:07, Kathy McIntosh wrote:
"Spider" wrote in message ... Hello everyone, Sorry I've been absent for a while. RG and I have been travelling to and from Yorkshire (where my father lived)since the beginning of March. Sadly, my dear father died on Sunday, 11th April after a long illness. His funeral was on the the 21st. It has been very hard to see him suffer, and harder still to deal with his death. He was hugely important to me; my hero and mentor, as well as an adored father. Sorry to read your news Spider. I know what it feels like as I went through the same thing with my Dad two years ago. His final illness was short, but he had six months of heartbreak after Mum died. Blessings to you and your family. Good gardening. Thank you, Kathy. Sorry to hear about your parents, too. Their deaths were so close together, you must have had a horrendous time. It's never easy, is it?, but somehow we carry on. Thankfully, my father guided me into gardening and a love of natural history (among other things), so I feel close to him in my garden. Just as well, really; I've got oodles to catch up with. Since the weather is so inviting, I'm off to grimace at a few weeds. -- Spider from high ground in SE London gardening on clay |
OT - Missed you all ... will be back soon
"Spider" wrote in message
... Since the weather is so inviting, I'm off to grimace at a few weeds. How do you make that work? When I grimace at mine they just grimace back and grow bigger! -- Kathy |
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On Tue, 27 Apr 2010 23:50:22 +0100, Kathy McIntosh
wrote: "Spider" wrote in message ... Since the weather is so inviting, I'm off to grimace at a few weeds. How do you make that work? When I grimace at mine they just grimace back and grow bigger! You haven't seen her grimace! .. .. .. .. Oh dear - no dinner for me tonight... |
OT - Missed you all ... will be back soon
On 27/04/2010 23:50, Kathy McIntosh wrote:
"Spider" wrote in message ... Since the weather is so inviting, I'm off to grimace at a few weeds. How do you make that work? When I grimace at mine they just grimace back and grow bigger! :~))! If grimacing fails, I work my way up through glowering to the withering look. Woe betide any weed that doesn't succumb to that. Woe comes in a handy little bottle. -- Spider from high ground in SE London gardening on clay |
OT - Missed you all ... will be back soon
On 28/04/2010 18:15, RG wrote:
On Tue, 27 Apr 2010 23:50:22 +0100, Kathy McIntosh wrote: "Spider" wrote in message ... Since the weather is so inviting, I'm off to grimace at a few weeds. How do you make that work? When I grimace at mine they just grimace back and grow bigger! You haven't seen her grimace! . . . . Oh dear - no dinner for me tonight... That's all right, dear. Your dinner comes from a handy little bottle (see my reply to Kathy) -- Spider from high ground in SE London gardening on clay |
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On 28/04/2010 23:09, Sacha wrote:
On 2010-04-28 18:15:06 +0100, RG said: On Tue, 27 Apr 2010 23:50:22 +0100, Kathy McIntosh wrote: "Spider" wrote in message ... Since the weather is so inviting, I'm off to grimace at a few weeds. How do you make that work? When I grimace at mine they just grimace back and grow bigger! You haven't seen her grimace! . . . . Oh dear - no dinner for me tonight... You're a weed? ;-) I think not! You know, Sacha, I'd never noticed weediness about him before. Now, where did I put that grimace ... -- Spider from high ground in SE London gardening on clay |
OT - Missed you all ... will be back soon
In article , Kathy McIntosh
writes Sorry to read your news Spider. I know what it feels like as I went through the same thing with my Dad two years ago. His final illness was short, but he had six months of heartbreak after Mum died. Blessings to you and your family. Good gardening. Same here, Spider, After Tom died a year ago the garden seemed to lose half its soul if you know what i mean. Difficult to get motivated to do anything in it even though it was me that did the gardening an he just appreciated it! Not sure there's an answer to the feelings, just have to keep going, one season at a time :) Janet -- Janet Tweedy Dalmatian Telegraph http://www.lancedal.demon.co.uk |
OT - Missed you all ... will be back soon
On 01/05/2010 11:59, Janet Tweedy wrote:
In article , Kathy McIntosh writes Sorry to read your news Spider. I know what it feels like as I went through the same thing with my Dad two years ago. His final illness was short, but he had six months of heartbreak after Mum died. Blessings to you and your family. Good gardening. Same here, Spider, After Tom died a year ago the garden seemed to lose half its soul if you know what i mean. Difficult to get motivated to do anything in it even though it was me that did the gardening an he just appreciated it! Not sure there's an answer to the feelings, just have to keep going, one season at a time :) Janet Thank you, Janet. Yes, I know just what you mean about the garden losing half its soul. It's a wierd feeling. I don't think we realise, sometimes, just how much we plant and tweak our gardens for that other person's pleasure, just as you understood that your Tom appreciated your efforts in the garden. When they're not there to share it anymore, the pleasure goes and the tasks seem hollow. I'm very lucky; I've still got my dearest RG to share the garden with and that helps a lot, but I still feel as if a huge part of me has been ripped away. It's going to take a long time to heal that pain, but I do want to keep improving the garden and, in time, plant a tree in memory of my father. As you say, we have to keep going. Take care and enjoy your garden as much as you can. They say that gardening is the only hobby where, if someone crept up on you they'd catch you smiling :~). Interestingly, gardening and smiling are both considered to be good for you. All the best, -- Spider from high ground in SE London gardening on clay |
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