On Wed, 17 Sep 2003 21:03:04 +0100, Zipadee Doodar wrote:

my next door neighbour's pride and joy is a decrepit old ranch style fence,
5 inch planks with 2 inch gaps, total height about 6 foot. The posts are
rotten, but he insists on making odd repairs because the whole thing is over
30 years old! It is only fit for tearing down, but he wont hear of it, even
though I have offered to pay for a new one. To make matters worse, we cant
go out in the garden without him appearing at the gaps like a chad. To be
fair, he is a friendly old chap, (74) but it can get a bit wearing all the
time (last night, at 9.45pm he knocked on my door to ask me if I would "like
to see Mars!") And no, he's not lonely, he has a wife and son in his house,
and two others who visit a couple of times a week.

Could anyone suggest some shrubs, climbers etc that i can plant to give us
some privacy in the long term. I do not want to fall out with him, but in
the last few days he has taken to climbing over a five foot wall to dab
paint on our side, when we are out. My wife is terrified of finding him
collapsed on the floor after one of his excursions. And, he cannot climb
back over , so we have to let him out through the house.

You are in a nasty situation. Am I right in reading between the
lines of your message that your neighbor is now "slightly dotty"?
Sounds like it to me. If so, it's going to be hard to reason with
him.

If, au contraire, he's completely compos mentis, then you could
simply explain that you *do* object to him climbing over the
fence and that it's time for him to wake up to the fence's
decreptitude. But getting these messages across in a neutral way,
as opposed to accusatory, is a very tricky, delicate matter. You
can easily ruin otherwise good relations with your neighbor.

Since you offered to foot the bill for a new one, at least lack
of money is no barrier.

Try posting this message in alt.fan.miss-manners with the manners
aspect emphasized and see what feedback you get.


--
Rodger Whitlock
Victoria, British Columbia, Canada