my next door neighbour's pride and joy is a decrepit old ranch style fence,
5 inch planks with 2 inch gaps, total height about 6 foot. The posts are
rotten, but he insists on making odd repairs because the whole thing is over
30 years old! It is only fit for tearing down, but he wont hear of it, even
though I have offered to pay for a new one. To make matters worse, we cant
go out in the garden without him appearing at the gaps like a chad. To be
fair, he is a friendly old chap, (74) but it can get a bit wearing all the
time (last night, at 9.45pm he knocked on my door to ask me if I would "like
to see Mars!") And no, he's not lonely, he has a wife and son in his house,
and two others who visit a couple of times a week.

Could anyone suggest some shrubs, climbers etc that i can plant to give us
some privacy in the long term. I do not want to fall out with him, but in
the last few days he has taken to climbing over a five foot wall to dab
paint on our side, when we are out. My wife is terrified of finding him
collapsed on the floor after one of his excursions. And, he cannot climb
back over , so we have to let him out through the house.

"Zipadee Doodar" wrote in message
...
my next door neighbour's pride and joy is a decrepit old ranch style
fence,
5 inch planks with 2 inch gaps, total height about 6 foot. The posts are
rotten, but he insists on making odd repairs because the whole thing is
over
30 years old! It is only fit for tearing down, but he wont hear of it,
even
though I have offered to pay for a new one. To make matters worse, we cant
go out in the garden without him appearing at the gaps like a chad. To be
fair, he is a friendly old chap, (74) but it can get a bit wearing all the
time (last night, at 9.45pm he knocked on my door to ask me if I would
"like
to see Mars!") And no, he's not lonely, he has a wife and son in his
house,
and two others who visit a couple of times a week.

Could anyone suggest some shrubs, climbers etc that i can plant to give us
some privacy in the long term. I do not want to fall out with him, but in
the last few days he has taken to climbing over a five foot wall to dab
paint on our side, when we are out. My wife is terrified of finding him
collapsed on the floor after one of his excursions. And, he cannot climb
back over , so we have to let him out through the house.

Bit of a problem if he's going to paint it, if you plant something next to
it that might cause arguments when he insists on painting his fence on your
side.
tell me, is he 'trapped' in your garden when you are out? If you suspect
he's going to do this again, dont come back for a long time, that might
discourage him!

Can you try having a word with the son or wife about replacing the fence?

Otherwise, there are lots of things you could plant, but pyracantha springs
to mind, pretty and prickly so will deter him climbing, and can be trimmed
so it doenst encroach too much into the garden.

At the other extreme, soemthing like a vigorous clematis or a mile-a-minute
plant will cover the whole fence in a year or two, and might encourage them
to take up your offer of a new fence when it begins to sprawl over their
side and poke through the gaps! It would also make painting impossible.

Or, maybe you could 'encourage' some panels to fall over if there is bad
weather this winter (ona dark and stormy night, maybe?) and make him see the
wisdom of replacing the whole thing?

--
Tumbleweed

Remove theobvious before replying (but no email reply necessary to
newsgroups)

On Wed, 17 Sep 2003 21:03:04 +0100, Zipadee Doodar wrote:

my next door neighbour's pride and joy is a decrepit old ranch style fence,
5 inch planks with 2 inch gaps, total height about 6 foot. The posts are
rotten, but he insists on making odd repairs because the whole thing is over
30 years old! It is only fit for tearing down, but he wont hear of it, even
though I have offered to pay for a new one. To make matters worse, we cant
go out in the garden without him appearing at the gaps like a chad. To be
fair, he is a friendly old chap, (74) but it can get a bit wearing all the
time (last night, at 9.45pm he knocked on my door to ask me if I would "like
to see Mars!") And no, he's not lonely, he has a wife and son in his house,
and two others who visit a couple of times a week.

Could anyone suggest some shrubs, climbers etc that i can plant to give us
some privacy in the long term. I do not want to fall out with him, but in
the last few days he has taken to climbing over a five foot wall to dab
paint on our side, when we are out. My wife is terrified of finding him
collapsed on the floor after one of his excursions. And, he cannot climb
back over , so we have to let him out through the house.

You are in a nasty situation. Am I right in reading between the
lines of your message that your neighbor is now "slightly dotty"?
Sounds like it to me. If so, it's going to be hard to reason with
him.

If, au contraire, he's completely compos mentis, then you could
simply explain that you *do* object to him climbing over the
fence and that it's time for him to wake up to the fence's
decreptitude. But getting these messages across in a neutral way,
as opposed to accusatory, is a very tricky, delicate matter. You
can easily ruin otherwise good relations with your neighbor.

Since you offered to foot the bill for a new one, at least lack
of money is no barrier.

Try posting this message in alt.fan.miss-manners with the manners
aspect emphasized and see what feedback you get.


--
Rodger Whitlock
Victoria, British Columbia, Canada