to all,

well, i think its about time to call it quits. as of
late, i have been more discouraged about my art than ever.
i truly love bonsai. it is the only thing that could bring
me peace during a time of great turbulence in my life. but
now as i watch powerlessly as all my beautiful trees die, i
am almost certain that a chapter in my life has closed. i
can list all kinds of reasons. i guess i'll list some of
them here for my own sanity.
i don't have time. i am a young man with a wife and a
toddler. i work 50 to 55 hours a week to try to get ahead.
i think i might be able to maintain interest if i could
get my hands on something other than ficus, schefflera, or
boxwood. i have tried my local club but the only advice i
have been given is that i should go through mail order to
get good stuff (which i can't afford), or go to some
obscure nursery (which is always too far away). so i have
come to the conclusion that at least at this point in my
life, bonsai is not for me. i am 27 years old. all the
people at my local club that i have met or talked to are
over 50 (or at least significantly older than me). i wish
so much to feel like the last two and a half years in this
art were not wasted, but it gets harder every day. i look
at my trees now and feel helpless. i don't want to quit
but it seems i have no other option. due to the above
circumstances, my creativity has met its limit. i am
bored. so help me if you can. i hope this is not too
sappy for all of you. i mean all of this from my heart.
so thanks all for your kind words and wisdom. i hope to
hear from you soon.

in His grace,
adam roler
Indianapolis, Indiana

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"...we have (still) a great need for a Savior, and a great Savior for our need." -Derek Webb

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