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Old 22-08-2004, 07:09 PM
Doug Kanter
 
Posts: n/a
Default Writing Contest: How to Repel Dog Owners

New house, new yard, new neighborhood, soon to be a massive garden. In my
last 'hood, there were quite a few dog owners to deal with and I went
directly from calm to ballistic with no in between. It worked, but twice,
the police were at my house, ready with handcuffs, until they calmed down
and realized that it's legal tell a dog owner that you'll murder their trash
if they don't control it.

This time, I thought it might be better to begin more quietly. I need to
word a sign perfectly. The target audience is so-called "good dog owners",
the ones who clean up after their trash animals. They're the ones who try
and convince you that even though it's your property, it's OK for them to
stop there. And, I believe that even when the owner picks the stuff up, the
scent is still of interest to other dogs. My initial thought (for small,
tasteful signs) was simply "No Dogs for ANY Reason. Period."

Sounds boring, though, so I'm open to suggestions. The message I really want
to convey is that the guy at this house may or may not be stable. I hope I'm
not, but so far, I am.

A friend suggested this: "All Dogs Will Be Collected and Eaten"

Anyway, the best suggestion wins 27 virtual cold beers. :-)