New house, new yard, new neighborhood, soon to be a massive garden. In my
last 'hood, there were quite a few dog owners to deal with and I went
directly from calm to ballistic with no in between. It worked, but twice,
the police were at my house, ready with handcuffs, until they calmed down
and realized that it's legal tell a dog owner that you'll murder their trash
if they don't control it.

This time, I thought it might be better to begin more quietly. I need to
word a sign perfectly. The target audience is so-called "good dog owners",
the ones who clean up after their trash animals. They're the ones who try
and convince you that even though it's your property, it's OK for them to
stop there. And, I believe that even when the owner picks the stuff up, the
scent is still of interest to other dogs. My initial thought (for small,
tasteful signs) was simply "No Dogs for ANY Reason. Period."

Sounds boring, though, so I'm open to suggestions. The message I really want
to convey is that the guy at this house may or may not be stable. I hope I'm
not, but so far, I am.

A friend suggested this: "All Dogs Will Be Collected and Eaten"

Anyway, the best suggestion wins 27 virtual cold beers. :-)

How about these:

Trespassing Dogs Owners Will Be Shot

Any Gifts Left Will Be Returned To Owners

You might also get one of those electrified invisible fences and install it
around your yard. I believe there is a version which oesn't require the dog
to be wearing a special collar. Something which would just give a bit of a
zap and a small sign warning of the electric fence.

When I was a kid we had trouble with a neighbor whose dogs liked our yard.
My mom asked several times for them to keep their dogs from using our yard
and of course they didn't. So my mom collected the gift the next time the
dogs visited and placed it right in front of their ront door, just where
they would step in it. We didn't have any problems after that.

Except from cats which people let run wild outside. In my opinion people
who let their cat out to roam the neighborhood to use the neighbor's flower
beds as a toilet are just as bad as people who let their dog use the
neighbor's yard as a toilet.

Shell
(who has a dog and does not let him go in the neighbor's yard)
"Doug Kanter" wrote in message
...
New house, new yard, new neighborhood, soon to be a massive garden. In my
last 'hood, there were quite a few dog owners to deal with and I went
directly from calm to ballistic with no in between. It worked, but twice,
the police were at my house, ready with handcuffs, until they calmed down
and realized that it's legal tell a dog owner that you'll murder their
trash
if they don't control it.

This time, I thought it might be better to begin more quietly. I need to
word a sign perfectly. The target audience is so-called "good dog owners",
the ones who clean up after their trash animals. They're the ones who try
and convince you that even though it's your property, it's OK for them to
stop there. And, I believe that even when the owner picks the stuff up,
the
scent is still of interest to other dogs. My initial thought (for small,
tasteful signs) was simply "No Dogs for ANY Reason. Period."

Sounds boring, though, so I'm open to suggestions. The message I really
want
to convey is that the guy at this house may or may not be stable. I hope
I'm
not, but so far, I am.

A friend suggested this: "All Dogs Will Be Collected and Eaten"

Anyway, the best suggestion wins 27 virtual cold beers. :-)

On Sun, 22 Aug 2004 18:09:52 GMT, "Doug Kanter"
wrote:

New house, new yard, new neighborhood, soon to be a massive garden. In my
last 'hood, there were quite a few dog owners to deal with and I went
directly from calm to ballistic with no in between. It worked, but twice,
the police were at my house, ready with handcuffs, until they calmed down
and realized that it's legal tell a dog owner that you'll murder their trash
if they don't control it.

This time, I thought it might be better to begin more quietly. I need to
word a sign perfectly. The target audience is so-called "good dog owners",
the ones who clean up after their trash animals. They're the ones who try
and convince you that even though it's your property, it's OK for them to
stop there. And, I believe that even when the owner picks the stuff up, the
scent is still of interest to other dogs. My initial thought (for small,
tasteful signs) was simply "No Dogs for ANY Reason. Period."

Sounds boring, though, so I'm open to suggestions. The message I really want
to convey is that the guy at this house may or may not be stable. I hope I'm
not, but so far, I am.

A friend suggested this: "All Dogs Will Be Collected and Eaten"

Anyway, the best suggestion wins 27 virtual cold beers. :-)



When I see a dog owner walking their dog on my lawn, I walk out to the
street and ask them to not allow their dog on my lawn. This works 99%
of the time, especially if you are holding a 22. Funny how I don't
have to do this very often as there are very few people who walk their
dogs on my street. I was surprised to find out that it is legal to
kill an unleashed dog if it is on your property in my city. You might
also consider taking pictures of both the dog owner and the dog on
your property as evidence. I do not like signs, but "Keep off the
Grass" is short and simple.

There used to be this jerk of a neighbour. He had this big labrador dog -
and he would always go and let it defecate right in front of my front strip
lawn. Small dogs I can take - but he had a big dog that had big crap... And
when he kept on repeatedly doing it - what the hell is wrong with him??? The
crappy thing is that his wife would yell at other dog owners.

Thankfully, the bugger moved out - and hopefully is staying next to a Hell's
Angels gangleader who owns killer rottweillers.

anyhow, I had more important things to worry about - so I didn't let it get
to me... unless I sat down for awhile and thought about it.... moreover I
just didn't want an argument with the silly duffer. If I wanted to get even,
I collect his dog's feces from my front lawn - then throw it onto his front
door at 3am when noone is looking. If I was any younger - I'd collect my OWN
feces and hurl it into his front door step at 3am randomly.

I guess you could post a sign outside your lawn stating that you are using
an insecticide that is highly toxic to animals. Then casually warn passing
dog owners about insecticide - make up some story - about how it "may" cause
harm to their pets. You can also scatter highly hot chilli seeds onto the
areas when the dogs crap.

Warning! Insecticide Being Used may be Highly Toxic to animals.

Usually what they can't be certain of - usually puts an extra fear in them.

"Doug Kanter" wrote in message
...
New house, new yard, new neighborhood, soon to be a massive garden. In my
last 'hood, there were quite a few dog owners to deal with and I went
directly from calm to ballistic with no in between. It worked, but twice,
the police were at my house, ready with handcuffs, until they calmed down
and realized that it's legal tell a dog owner that you'll murder their
trash
if they don't control it.

This time, I thought it might be better to begin more quietly.Ineedto
word a sign perfectly. The target audience is so-called "good dog owners",
the ones who clean up after their trash animals. They're the ones who try
and convince you that even though it's your property, it's OK for them to
stop there. And, I believe that even when the owner picks the stuff up,
the
scent is still of interest to other dogs. My initial thought (for small,
tasteful signs) was simply "No Dogs for ANY Reason. Period."

Sounds boring, though, so I'm open to suggestions. The message I really
want
to convey is that the guy at this house may or may not be stable. I hope
I'm
not, but so far, I am.

A friend suggested this: "All Dogs Will Be Collected and Eaten"

Anyway, the best suggestion wins 27 virtual cold beers. :-)



Put up a fence for god's sake.
Karen

"JK" wrote in message
...


They're the ones who try
and convince you that even though it's your property, it's OK for them to
stop there. And, I believe that even when the owner picks the stuff up,
the
scent is still of interest to other dogs.

You are waaaaaaaaaaaay too anal.

You're responding to two people at once, but I know that last line was for
me. So, try this. Almost any statement can contain more than one meaning.
Please tell me all the possible meanings you see in this:

"I want to go out when it's dark and smell the moonflowers."

"Crimson Castle" wrote in message
...

If I wanted to get even,
I collect his dog's feces from my front lawn - then throw it onto his
front
door at 3am when noone is looking.

Actually, this worked once for me. The dog owner continually denied that her
dog was running around the neighborhood. I knew where she lived. One night,
her son was visiting. His gorgeous yellow Corvette was parked in the
driveway. I lifted his windshield wiper, dropped the turd on the window, and
lowered the wiper into it.

The dog was never seen again. Priceless.

"Anonny Moose" wrote in message
...

"Doug Kanter" wrote in message
...
New house, new yard, new neighborhood, soon to be a massive garden. In
my
last 'hood, there were quite a few dog owners to deal with and I went
directly from calm to ballistic with no in between. It worked, but
twice,
the police were at my house, ready with handcuffs, until they calmed
down
and realized that it's legal tell a dog owner that you'll murder their
trash
if they don't control it.

This time, I thought it might be better to begin more quietly.Ineedto
word a sign perfectly. The target audience is so-called "good dog
owners",
the ones who clean up after their trash animals. They're the ones who
try
and convince you that even though it's your property, it's OK for them
to
stop there. And, I believe that even when the owner picks the stuff up,
the
scent is still of interest to other dogs. My initial thought (for small,
tasteful signs) was simply "No Dogs for ANY Reason. Period."

Sounds boring, though, so I'm open to suggestions. The message I really
want
to convey is that the guy at this house may or may not be stable. I hope
I'm
not, but so far, I am.

A friend suggested this: "All Dogs Will Be Collected and Eaten"

Anyway, the best suggestion wins 27 virtual cold beers. :-)



Put up a fence for god's sake.
Karen



Sorry, Karen, but zoning laws in virtually all cities prevent the
construction of a fence where the lawn meets the street.

"Please keep your dog off my grass :-)"

Plus (and this is the important part) a temporary electric fence. One
wire, about a foot off the ground, electrified with something like
a Red Snap'r #66: http://www.stockyardsupply.com/page8/

You won't need it electrified for very long. If it's not a very big
lawn, you should be able to use wooden stakes for the posts, but you
will need to use plastic or porcelain insulators like a real electric fence.

Best regards,
Bob

Put up a fence for god's sake.
Karen


Finally, someone with a reasonable solution to an extremely petty problem.


Sorry, Karen, but zoning laws in virtually all cities prevent the
construction of a fence where the lawn meets the street.

And might that be because where the lawn meets the street is actually an
easement controlled by the city? Try moving the fence back onto your
property and don't tell me that fences in front yards in "virtually all
cities" are prohibited by zoning laws, cuz it's just not true. And even if
your city does have such a law, why not consider planting a dog-unfriendly
hedge of some sort, like barberries or rugosa roses? Certainly a lot easier
than doing battle with your neighbors to the point where the cops are called
or posting signs which beg to be ignored or more likely, willfully
disregarded.

On Sun, 22 Aug 2004 18:09:52 GMT, "Doug Kanter"
wrote:

New house, new yard, new neighborhood, soon to be a massive garden. In my
last 'hood, there were quite a few dog owners to deal with and I went
directly from calm to ballistic with no in between. It worked, but twice,
the police were at my house, ready with handcuffs, until they calmed down
and realized that it's legal tell a dog owner that you'll murder their trash
if they don't control it.

First, check the animal control regs so you'll know how far
officialdom will go to support you. In fact, some exerpts from the
municiple code could be on your sign.

I doubt that 'no dogs, ever, under any circumstances' would be viewed
as reasonable.

In article , Frogleg wrote:
On Sun, 22 Aug 2004 18:09:52 GMT, "Doug Kanter"
wrote:

New house, new yard, new neighborhood, soon to be a massive garden. In my
last 'hood, there were quite a few dog owners to deal with and I went
directly from calm to ballistic with no in between. It worked, but twice,
the police were at my house, ready with handcuffs, until they calmed down
and realized that it's legal tell a dog owner that you'll murder their trash
if they don't control it.

First, check the animal control regs so you'll know how far
officialdom will go to support you. In fact, some exerpts from the
municiple code could be on your sign.

I doubt that 'no dogs, ever, under any circumstances' would be viewed
as reasonable.

"Caution: we have a gopher problem here and are using Victor leg-hold traps.
Please keep all pets away. No tresspassing."

"Pam - gardengal" wrote in message
news:I0eWc.296886$a24.77108@attbi_s03...


Put up a fence for god's sake.
Karen


Finally, someone with a reasonable solution to an extremely petty problem.


Sorry, Karen, but zoning laws in virtually all cities prevent the
construction of a fence where the lawn meets the street.

And might that be because where the lawn meets the street is actually an
easement controlled by the city? Try moving the fence back onto your
property and don't tell me that fences in front yards in "virtually all
cities" are prohibited by zoning laws, cuz it's just not true. And even if
your city does have such a law, why not consider planting a dog-unfriendly
hedge of some sort, like barberries or rugosa roses? Certainly a lot
easier
than doing battle with your neighbors to the point where the cops are
called
or posting signs which beg to be ignored or more likely, willfully
disregarded.



Pam, I like barberries, but not 75 of them, which is about what it would
take to line my property's edge. Then, I have to trim them, as well as deal
with them as I mow. If that happens, the dog owners have stolen TIME from
me, something I have little enough of to begin with.

As far as a "petty issue", when you have to spend 15 minutes cleaning your
shoes, and perhaps the better part of a day shampooing your carpet, that's
not petty. That's a crime.

"Frogleg" wrote in message
...
On Sun, 22 Aug 2004 18:09:52 GMT, "Doug Kanter"
wrote:

New house, new yard, new neighborhood, soon to be a massive garden. In my
last 'hood, there were quite a few dog owners to deal with and I went
directly from calm to ballistic with no in between. It worked, but twice,
the police were at my house, ready with handcuffs, until they calmed down
and realized that it's legal tell a dog owner that you'll murder their
trash
if they don't control it.

First, check the animal control regs so you'll know how far
officialdom will go to support you. In fact, some exerpts from the
municiple code could be on your sign.

I doubt that 'no dogs, ever, under any circumstances' would be viewed
as reasonable.

By "no dogs, ever...", I'm targeting dogs accompanied by humans who (I
assume) can read. I can deal with the strays myself.

"Ed Clarke" wrote in message
...
In article , Frogleg wrote:
On Sun, 22 Aug 2004 18:09:52 GMT, "Doug Kanter"
wrote:

New house, new yard, new neighborhood, soon to be a massive garden. In
my
last 'hood, there were quite a few dog owners to deal with and I went
directly from calm to ballistic with no in between. It worked, but
twice,
the police were at my house, ready with handcuffs, until they calmed
down
and realized that it's legal tell a dog owner that you'll murder their
trash
if they don't control it.

First, check the animal control regs so you'll know how far
officialdom will go to support you. In fact, some exerpts from the
municiple code could be on your sign.

I doubt that 'no dogs, ever, under any circumstances' would be viewed
as reasonable.

"Caution: we have a gopher problem here and are using Victor leg-hold
traps.
Please keep all pets away. No tresspassing."

That sounds interesting. :-)