Tumbleweed wrote:
...somewhat ****ed off at the birds eating the cherries off my tree
(and finding the stones on top of my car!) went out and picked a few
to ripen indoors.
Then thought I'd try one of the very nearly ripe ones. Oh My God
I thought I was going to die. Sour doesn't even come close to
describing it! Beyond sour, into realms of disgusting, vile,
horrendous all rolled into one. The birds must have no taste buds
whatsoever.

Are you sure it wasn't an ornamental cherry...?