(Andy Spragg) wrote in message ...
(Warwick Michael Dumas) pushed briefly to
the front of the queue on 31 Dec 2002 11:42:40 -0800, and nailed this
to the shed door:

(subterranean homesick lizard blues)

^ Since I didn't know if they were from underground or not (seems a bit
^ weird, it looked like they were buried about two inches deep in a
^ slope of earth), I hedged my bets by putting some leaves over them.
^ One of them is definitely going to have to be called... Lizzy, the
^ Lizard. Don't know about the other. Does anyone know what to do (And

Call it Eddie. Eddie Lizzard.

^ how the hell am I going to get at the rest of my earth? The idiots
^ that lived here before put it all in a heap just outside the
^ garden(!), and this is where I've found Lizzy the Lizard.) Also, a cat
^ wouldn't eat a lizard, would it?

You should not be digging on New Years Eve anyway. Specially not when
the grounds waterlogged.

It's not, I'm not - I needed a bit of decent earth for moving an evil
artificial Cherry Tree Graft Thing. (Gave it a fighting chance, that's
all it deserves!)

Get a grip, man - you're supposed to be
R&Ring.

I thought gardening was a relaxing leisure pursuit. (Yeah right!)
Anyway it's hard to distinguish when you're both unemployed and very
lazy, like I am.

Here's what I would do. Erect a notice declaring that earth-moving
operations will be commencing in 12 weeks time, and giving the lizards
a month and a day to lodge any complaints. In the absence of any
outcry, go to it at a civilised time of year with a clear conscience.

I think they probably will move out in the spring but I've really been
moved by an impulse to do what I can for them - it's hard to just
leave them to whatever fate befalls them. They're so miniature and
cool!


Warwick Dumas

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"If Adolf Hitler were here today, they'd send a limousine anyway."
- the late Joe Strummer