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Old 25-09-2007, 08:53 PM posted to rec.gardens
William Wagner[_2_] William Wagner[_2_] is offline
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First recorded activity by GardenBanter: Jun 2007
Posts: 355
Default OT No mention of gardens but....

My friend Don sent me this.

.....

DON'T TAKE ME IF I DON'T WANT TO GO..........

After Mr.and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her
husband accompany her on her trips to Walmart. Unfortunately,
Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring and preferred
to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was
like most women--she loved to browse.

One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Walmart.

Dear Mrs. Fenton:

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be
forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against
Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video
surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute
intervals.

3. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,
"Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away."

4. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's
on layaway.

5. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets
from the bedding department.

7. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
mirror
while he picked his nose.

9. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked
the clerk where the anti- depressants were.

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
hummingthe
"Mission Impossible" theme.

11. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look"
by using different sizes of funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"

And last, but not least ...

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while,
then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"

--

S Jersey USA Zone 5 Shade

This article is posted under fair use rules in accordance with
Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, and is strictly for the educational
and informative purposes. This material is distributed without profit.

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