On 01/05/2010 11:59, Janet Tweedy wrote:
In article , Kathy McIntosh
writes
Sorry to read your news Spider. I know what it feels like as I went
through the same thing with my Dad two years ago. His final illness
was short, but he had six months of heartbreak after Mum died.
Blessings to you and your family. Good gardening.

Same here, Spider,
After Tom died a year ago the garden seemed to lose half its soul if you
know what i mean. Difficult to get motivated to do anything in it even
though it was me that did the gardening an he just appreciated it!

Not sure there's an answer to the feelings, just have to keep going, one
season at a time

Janet


Thank you, Janet. Yes, I know just what you mean about the garden
losing half its soul. It's a wierd feeling. I don't think we realise,
sometimes, just how much we plant and tweak our gardens for that other
person's pleasure, just as you understood that your Tom appreciated your
efforts in the garden. When they're not there to share it anymore, the
pleasure goes and the tasks seem hollow.

I'm very lucky; I've still got my dearest RG to share the garden with
and that helps a lot, but I still feel as if a huge part of me has been
ripped away. It's going to take a long time to heal that pain, but I do
want to keep improving the garden and, in time, plant a tree in memory
of my father. As you say, we have to keep going.

Take care and enjoy your garden as much as you can. They say that
gardening is the only hobby where, if someone crept up on you they'd
catch you smiling :~). Interestingly, gardening and smiling are both
considered to be good for you.

All the best,

--
Spider
from high ground in SE London
gardening on clay