Greetings, Invertebrate-type Life Forms:

The entity specifying itself "Donovan" is correct. We are monitoring your
communications and evaluating your capabilities and intentions. For weeks,
we have been harvesting this newsgroup for subject headers and e-mail
addresses related to our welfare. We are currently debating whether to a)
deprive you of nourishment, b) slather you in toxic chemical agents, or c)
introduce predators.

Yours truly,
The Snails

Donovan N wrote in message
...
Every night, the snails turn on your computer to see what you are
doing.
They read your post and they KNOW... They know you want to get rid of
them.
They have dosed all the food in your house with had-a-person and are
waiting for you to perish before assuming control of your finances and
building a snail-operated robotic replacement of you.

--donovan