My insurance co. changed our pharmacist
and we were forced to go to Walmart.
Walmart gets on my nerves with their
constant associate alerts, walmart TV and
walmart radio and trap the customer aisles.
So when I saw this I seriously thought about
taking my DI team of creative teenagers and
turning them free to run amuck with this list....

50 FUN THINGS

TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and

stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set out all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals

throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join

in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray

air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially in

the thin, narrow aisles.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think

we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and

turn the volumes up to 10.

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to a complete stranger and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in

so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud

enough for all to hear, "Who buys this crap, anyway?"

15. Repeat number 14 in the jewelry department.

16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it

for a "test drive."

17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet

away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as

your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look

mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

20. Put M&M's on layaway.

21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department, tell others you'll only

invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other

aisles.

24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "I'm

Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside

down.

29. When someone asks you if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why

don't you people just leave me alone?"

30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between

them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

31. Make up nonsense products and asked newly hired employees if there

are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"

32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full-scale

battlefield with GI Joes vs. the X-Men.

33. Take bets on the battle described above.

34. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the

clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as

possible.

36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission

Impossible."

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your

Twinkies?"

41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

42. Two words: "Marco Polo."

43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle,

etc.

44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.

45. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various

funnels.


46. When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at something,

quickly make off with it without saying a word.

47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal

position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If

the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't

get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.



BONUS! Try all 50 in one visit!

(As I said I considered it but didn't ;-)


k30a