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Old 24-12-2009, 11:06 AM posted to aus.gardens
anm anm is offline
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Posts: 24
Default OT - Climate change: ping jonno and David

The following from alt.jokes.
Seems it may be of some use in deciphering the content of the backing
material used in your discussions ;-P You may both appreciate the last
interpretation before the postscript.


"When you next read a scientific paper, make sure you have this handy
guide by your side:



"IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN"...
I didn't look up the original reference.

"A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT"...
These data are practically meaningless.

"WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS TO THE
QUESTIONS"...
An unsuccessful experiment but I still hope to get it published.

"THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY"... The other results
didn't make any sense.

"TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN"...
This is the prettiest graph.

"THESE RESULTS WILL BE IN A SUBSEQUENT REPORT"... I might get around to
this sometime, if pushed/funded.

"IN MY EXPERIENCE"...
Once.

"IN CASE AFTER CASE"...
Twice.

"IN A SERIES OF CASES"...
Thrice.

"IT IS BELIEVED THAT"...
I think.

"IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT"...
A couple of others think so, too.

"CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE" ... Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

"ACCORDING TO STATISTICAL ANALYSIS"... Rumour has it.

"A STATISTICALLY-ORIENTED PROJECTION OF THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THESE
FINDINGS"...
A really wild guess.

"A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF OBTAINABLE DATA"... Three pages of notes were
obliterated when I knocked over a beer glass.

"IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE REQUIRED BEFORE A COMPLETE
UNDERSTANDING OF THIS PHENOMENON OCCURS"... I don't understand it....and I
never will.

"AFTER ADDITIONAL STUDY BY MY COLLEAGUES"... They don't understand it
either.

"A HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY"... A totally useless
topic selected by my committee.

"IT IS HOPED THAT THIS STUDY WILL STIMULATE FURTHER INVESTIGATION IN THIS
FIELD"...
I am pleased to feed you this rubbish.

Postscript:
These special phrases are also applicable to anyone reading an academic
paper.?

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Old 24-12-2009, 11:50 AM posted to aus.gardens
external usenet poster
 
First recorded activity by GardenBanter: Sep 2008
Posts: 3,036
Default OT - Climate change: ping jonno and David

anm wrote:
The following from alt.jokes.
Seems it may be of some use in deciphering the content of the backing
material used in your discussions ;-P You may both appreciate the
last interpretation before the postscript.


"When you next read a scientific paper, make sure you have this handy
guide by your side:



"IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN"...
I didn't look up the original reference.

"A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT"...
These data are practically meaningless.

"WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS TO THE
QUESTIONS"...
An unsuccessful experiment but I still hope to get it published.

"THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY"... The other
results didn't make any sense.

"TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN"...
This is the prettiest graph.

"THESE RESULTS WILL BE IN A SUBSEQUENT REPORT"... I might get around
to this sometime, if pushed/funded.

"IN MY EXPERIENCE"...
Once.

"IN CASE AFTER CASE"...
Twice.

"IN A SERIES OF CASES"...
Thrice.

"IT IS BELIEVED THAT"...
I think.

"IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT"...
A couple of others think so, too.

"CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE" ... Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

"ACCORDING TO STATISTICAL ANALYSIS"... Rumour has it.

"A STATISTICALLY-ORIENTED PROJECTION OF THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THESE
FINDINGS"...
A really wild guess.

"A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF OBTAINABLE DATA"... Three pages of notes were
obliterated when I knocked over a beer glass.

"IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE REQUIRED BEFORE A
COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF THIS PHENOMENON OCCURS"... I don't
understand it....and I never will.

"AFTER ADDITIONAL STUDY BY MY COLLEAGUES"... They don't understand it
either.

"A HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY"... A totally useless
topic selected by my committee.

"IT IS HOPED THAT THIS STUDY WILL STIMULATE FURTHER INVESTIGATION IN
THIS FIELD"...
I am pleased to feed you this rubbish.

Postscript:
These special phrases are also applicable to anyone reading an
academic paper.?


This list is very convincing. I have rarely seen such depth and structure
or such an elegant formalism. If all arguments were of this quality much
time would be saved, we would have consensus, world peace and free love.

Thanks for sharing.

David

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Old 24-12-2009, 04:14 PM posted to aus.gardens
anm anm is offline
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First recorded activity by GardenBanter: Jun 2009
Posts: 24
Default OT - Climate change: ping jonno and David

On Thu, 24 Dec 2009 22:50:56 +1100, David Hare-Scott wrote:

anm wrote:
The following from alt.jokes.
Seems it may be of some use in deciphering the content of the backing
material used in your discussions ;-P You may both appreciate the last
interpretation before the postscript.


snip list

Postscript:
These special phrases are also applicable to anyone reading an academic
paper.?


This list is very convincing. I have rarely seen such depth and
structure or such an elegant formalism. If all arguments were of this
quality much time would be saved, we would have consensus, world peace
and free love.

Thanks for sharing.

David


grin
You are very welcome
Have a great Christmas!
And may both your garden and your arguments blossom in 2010.
anm

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Old 09-01-2010, 11:56 AM posted to aus.gardens
PC PC is offline
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First recorded activity by GardenBanter: Jan 2010
Posts: 4
Default OT - Climate change: ping jonno and David

This is how sure science appears to be...
A great joke on the scientists, never wishing to paint themselves into a
corner.
Is it confusionism or a lack of Confucius?

On 25/12/2009 3:14 AM, anm wrote:
On Thu, 24 Dec 2009 22:50:56 +1100, David Hare-Scott wrote:


anm wrote:

The following from alt.jokes.
Seems it may be of some use in deciphering the content of the backing
material used in your discussions ;-P You may both appreciate the last
interpretation before the postscript.

snip list


Postscript:
These special phrases are also applicable to anyone reading an academic
paper.?

This list is very convincing. I have rarely seen such depth and
structure or such an elegant formalism. If all arguments were of this
quality much time would be saved, we would have consensus, world peace
and free love.

Thanks for sharing.

David

grin
You are very welcome
Have a great Christmas!
And may both your garden and your arguments blossom in 2010.
anm



--
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Old 09-01-2010, 10:17 PM posted to aus.gardens
PC PC is offline
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First recorded activity by GardenBanter: Jan 2010
Posts: 4
Default OT - Climate change: ping jonno and David

I can see why Jonno argues with Dave Hare
In order not to reinvent the wheel, I give you these examples.
You may never realise who Jonno is, but he is a pain to be reckoned with....

George Bush quotes, (he wasnt kidding it seems)

You can fool some of the people all the time, and those are the ones you
want to concentrate on. -- (spoken at a Washington Dinner, March 2001)
George Bush!

“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we.
They never stop thinking about ways to harm our country and our people,
and neither do we.” (Washington DC; August 5, 2004.)

"Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter." --
George W. Bush, in parting words
http://politicalhumor.about.com/b/2008/07/11/bush-goodbye-from-the-worlds-biggest-polluter.htm
to British Prime Minister Gordon Brown and French President Nicolas Sarkozy
at his final G-8 Summit, punching the air and grinning widely as the two
leaders looked on in shock,
Rusutsu, Japan, July 10, 2008

"I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what
happened inside this Oval Office." --
George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 12, 2008

On scientists

"If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?".

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing. (So true look at water! And climate, if they get their way..)

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe.


-- Albert Einstein

About Einstein:
You're aware the boy failed my grade school math class, I take it? And not
that many years later he's teaching college. Now I ask you: Is that the
sorriest indictment of the American educational system you ever heard?
[pauses to light cigarette.] No aptitude at all for long division, but
never mind. It's him they ask to split the atom. How he talked his way
into the Nobel prize is beyond me. But then, I suppose it's like the man
says, "It's not what you know..." Karl Arbeiter: former teacher of Albert
Einstein

Crikey, sour grapes from someone with no imagination, which if he had
had it, would have made him a greater man....A public servant "doing his
duty"?
Albert Einstein did, but it was his creative spirit and determination,
which allowed him to solve problems.Scientists all over the world,
should grow up in an atmosphere condusive to that,
and be free and to use their imagination. Actually we all should.
You've locked your selves up...and limiting yourself.
_
_
And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that
soon they will be able to talk to us. (By they I mean computers: I doubt
scientists will ever be able to talk to us.)

One could not be a successful scientist without realising that, in
contrast to the popular conception supported by newspapers and mothers
of scientists, a goodly number of scientists are not only narrow-minded
and dull, but also just stupid.

An important scientific innovation rarely makes its way by gradually
winning over and converting its opponents: What does happen is that the
opponents gradually die out.

In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct, beyond all
need of checking, is the mistake.

No matter what the experiment's result, there will always be someone
eager to: (a) misinterpret it. (b) fake it. or (c) believe it supports
his own pet theory.

In science we are really good at disproving things and are very poor at
proving things. Theories like the Theory of Relativity go on and on
because no one can think of anything better.

If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. There's no use
being a damn fool about it.

Napoleon:
I am surrounded by priests who repeat incessantly that their kingdom is
not of this world, and yet they lay their hands on everything they can get.



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Old 10-01-2010, 10:11 AM posted to aus.gardens
external usenet poster
 
First recorded activity by GardenBanter: Feb 2007
Posts: 2,358
Default OT - Climate change: ping jonno and David

"PC" wrote in message

I can see why Jonno argues with Dave Hare


There is no-one by the name of Dave Hare who posts here.


  #7   Report Post  
Old 13-01-2010, 11:20 AM posted to aus.gardens
external usenet poster
 
First recorded activity by GardenBanter: Jan 2010
Posts: 1
Default OT - Climate change: ping jonno and David

PC wrote:
I can see why Jonno argues with Dave Hare
In order not to reinvent the wheel, I give you these examples.
You may never realise who Jonno is, but he is a pain to be reckoned
with....

George Bush quotes, (he wasnt kidding it seems)

You can fool some of the people all the time, and those are the ones you
want to concentrate on. -- (spoken at a Washington Dinner, March 2001)
George Bush!

“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we.
They never stop thinking about ways to harm our country and our people,
and neither do we.” (Washington DC; August 5, 2004.)

"Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter." --
George W. Bush, in parting words
http://politicalhumor.about.com/b/2008/07/11/bush-goodbye-from-the-worlds-biggest-polluter.htm
to British Prime Minister Gordon Brown and French President Nicolas Sarkozy
at his final G-8 Summit, punching the air and grinning widely as the two
leaders looked on in shock,
Rusutsu, Japan, July 10, 2008

"I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what
happened inside this Oval Office." --
George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 12, 2008

On scientists

"If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research,
would it?".

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing. (So true
look at water! And climate, if they get their way..)

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not
sure about the the universe.


-- Albert Einstein

About Einstein:
You're aware the boy failed my grade school math class, I take it?
And not
that many years later he's teaching college. Now I ask you: Is that the
sorriest indictment of the American educational system you ever heard?
[pauses to light cigarette.] No aptitude at all for long division, but
never mind. It's him they ask to split the atom. How he talked his way
into the Nobel prize is beyond me. But then, I suppose it's like the man
says, "It's not what you know..." Karl Arbeiter: former teacher of
Albert
Einstein

Crikey, sour grapes from someone with no imagination, which if he had
had it, would have made him a greater man....A public servant "doing his
duty"?
Albert Einstein did, but it was his creative spirit and determination,
which allowed him to solve problems.Scientists all over the world,
should grow up in an atmosphere condusive to that,
and be free and to use their imagination. Actually we all should.
You've locked your selves up...and limiting yourself.
_
_
And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that
soon they will be able to talk to us. (By they I mean computers: I doubt
scientists will ever be able to talk to us.)

One could not be a successful scientist without realising that, in
contrast to the popular conception supported by newspapers and mothers
of scientists, a goodly number of scientists are not only narrow-minded
and dull, but also just stupid.

An important scientific innovation rarely makes its way by gradually
winning over and converting its opponents: What does happen is that the
opponents gradually die out.

In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct, beyond all
need of checking, is the mistake.

No matter what the experiment's result, there will always be someone
eager to: (a) misinterpret it. (b) fake it. or (c) believe it supports
his own pet theory.

In science we are really good at disproving things and are very poor at
proving things. Theories like the Theory of Relativity go on and on
because no one can think of anything better.

If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. There's no use
being a damn fool about it.

Napoleon:
I am surrounded by priests who repeat incessantly that their kingdom is
not of this world, and yet they lay their hands on everything they can get.


I can only guess that this is a sock which got onto the wrong foot

So ... I for one am absolutely confused
Given that there have been no responses from others on this group, I
can but surmise I am not alone!

The foregoing appears to have been slapped together after a jar or
two, a toke or two or perhaps a couple of lines sniffed?

I have no idea whether this is support for Jonno
A threat to me personally ... though I have had no arguments ( as I
would understand it) with Jonno; or perhaps:
A threat to the group as a whole?

So I guess you should advise Jonno to put his correct socks back on
before that chip on his shoulder drives him into the ground; offer his
apologies to me and the rest of this ng

And allow us all to continue considering our gsrden(s)

Keep smiling
anm


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