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Old 09-10-2007, 07:02 PM posted to rec.gardens.edible
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n writes:

I do know what you mean even though I have had no such sad circumstances
as
you have had to live through. Please accept my heartfelt sympathy
although
I know that nothing I could ever say could ease your pain.


Thank you very much. No, the pain will never leave; the void left by a
child's death is always there and quite different than any other. We
adjust and learn to live around it so it becomes a part of our lives
rather than it controlling our lives. On our on-line support group, I
said it does not become easier, it becomes less difficult. Easier implies
it will become easy which is not true and also implies we have more
control than we do.


I too have found my garden a solace as I recovered from cancer therapy.
I
was burned to a crisp from radiation therapy and as weak as a kitten from
the operation, the lack of appetite and chemotherapy but would go out and
drag rocks around rebuilding, manuring, digging and planting what I
called
my 'hard, hungry bed'. If I couldn't do something I would occasionally
ask
my husband to move a single stone but I tried to do as much of it on my
own
as a life affirming experience. I now look at this bed and feel good
just
by looking at it. It's not the prettiest or the best flower bed I have
but
it is the one of which I am most fond. It doesn't worry me one iota that
no-one but my husband can understand why this bed speaks to me.


You have been through your own trials, quite definitely. You absolutely
have my sympathy for what you have been through. I'm very happy for you
that you are here to look at that wonderful flower bed.

My sister died in 1972 of cancer the day before her 21st birthday leaving
behind two babies in diapers so I have a small amount of understanding
what you are saying. I wish so much she could also be speaking your
words. Because of what my garden has done for me, I so understand at
least part of your fondness for this special part of your yard and of your
world.


As I worked, I used to think of a haiku that I read many years ago. I've
forgotten how to put it into the form of a haiku but the words we
"A man truly understands the meaning of life when he plants a shade tree
under which he knows he will not sit".


That rather re-enforces what I told my two oldest sons and some dear
friends about this house. I moved here two-plus years after my youngest
son's death. His brothers were very worried about Mom in addition to
their own grief from losing their baby brother (who was taller than either
of them!). When I planted grapes, kiwi and paw-paw trees, I told them I
must be planning to be around a long time since they all take at least 2-5
years to bear! One wouldn't think of planting a grape vine as being a
plan for a future, but it really is, like the shade tree.

Blessings to you.

Glenna

Glenna
[off soapbox for own peace of mind]


And that comment also resonates with me. At times switching off is all
we
can do if we are to try to stay in any way sane.


So very, very true.





 
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