Wanted: Deadly, Thorny Shrub
 

.....to plant this spring in a spot where disgusting dog owners like to stop
their filthy beasts on my property. Shrub must be capable of inflicting
enough damage to send the dog to the vet. I'm thinking of barberry. Open to
suggestions for other shrub options. The planting spot receives sun for
about 2/3 of the day, and will be buried in snow for 3 months out of the
year.

"Doug Kanter" wrote in message
...
....to plant this spring in a spot where disgusting dog owners like to
stop
their filthy beasts on my property. Shrub must be capable of inflicting
enough damage to send the dog to the vet. I'm thinking of barberry. Open
to
suggestions for other shrub options. The planting spot receives sun for
about 2/3 of the day, and will be buried in snow for 3 months out of the
year.

Shame about the snow. I was going to recommend several large variegated
Agave but I don't know if they'll handle snow for 3 months. How about barbed
wire on some bamboo poles?

"Ricky" wrote in message
...
"Doug Kanter" wrote in message
...
....to plant this spring in a spot where disgusting dog owners like to
stop
their filthy beasts on my property. Shrub must be capable of inflicting
enough damage to send the dog to the vet. I'm thinking of barberry. Open
to
suggestions for other shrub options. The planting spot receives sun for
about 2/3 of the day, and will be buried in snow for 3 months out of the
year.

Shame about the snow. I was going to recommend several large variegated
Agave but I don't know if they'll handle snow for 3 months. How about
barbed
wire on some bamboo poles?



Barbed wire might appear to have been installed with the goal of
intentionally injuring the dogs. snicker

"Doug Kanter" asked about:
something to stop filthy beasts...

I don't know where this idea came from...

A small battery operated fan attached to a motion sensor
that is attached to a small contraption of cheyenne and
black pepper. If the spritz doesn't shoot up too high, I'm
thinking along the lines that ONLY the dog will get whiff
of it and thus if it's hidden well enough, people won't be
apt to steal it.

Or even better yet, get some oil of mating for dogs and
put it on something off your property where you can get
odd pictures of dogs and neighbors... if there's a remote
controlled spritzing device you can spritz the legs of the
neighbors...

Hmm. I bet such an item would sell and could be patented.

--
Jim Carlock
Post replies to newsgroup.

Doug Kanter wrote:

....to plant this spring in a spot where disgusting dog owners like to
stop their filthy beasts on my property. Shrub must be capable of
inflicting enough damage to send the dog to the vet. I'm thinking of
barberry. Open to suggestions for other shrub options. The planting spot
receives sun for about 2/3 of the day, and will be buried in snow for 3
months out of the year.

What about Pyrocantha

"Paul E. Lehmann" wrote in message
...
Doug Kanter wrote:

....to plant this spring in a spot where disgusting dog owners like to
stop their filthy beasts on my property. Shrub must be capable of
inflicting enough damage to send the dog to the vet. I'm thinking of
barberry. Open to suggestions for other shrub options. The planting spot
receives sun for about 2/3 of the day, and will be buried in snow for 3
months out of the year.

What about Pyrocantha

Thanks for the tip. Looks like an attractive plant, too.

Doug Kanter wrote:
....to plant this spring in a spot where disgusting dog owners like to stop
their filthy beasts on my property. Shrub must be capable of inflicting
enough damage to send the dog to the vet.

The dogs aren't deciding where to stop. Mutilate the owners.

In article , wrote:

Doug Kanter wrote:

....to plant this spring in a spot where disgusting dog owners like to
stop their filthy beasts on my property. Shrub must be capable of
inflicting enough damage to send the dog to the vet. I'm thinking of
barberry. Open to suggestions for other shrub options. The planting spot
receives sun for about 2/3 of the day, and will be buried in snow for 3
months out of the year.

What about Pyrocantha

I'd think that'd be the best choice. A very pretty "wall" could be grown
of mixed shrubbs starting with pyrocantha as about the biggest thing.
There are hundreds of varieties of hawthorns, some have three to five inch
spikes, most of which would do very well in places with very cold winters
& lots of snow. Barberry bushes & rugosa roses are good intermediate-sized
impenetrable shrubs, euphorbia crown-of-thorns for something shorter, &
vicious groundcovers like some creeping rubra species, or
smilex/greenbriar, or dwarf crimson barberry. A natural barrier of spiky
plants could be very beautiful, flowery, & winter-berried for year-round
color, though one would require enough room in one's yard to steer pretty
clear of it while relaxing, & buy some gardening armor come pruning time.

-paghat the ratgirl

--
"Of what are you afraid, my child?" inquired the kindly teacher.
"Oh, sir! The flowers, they are wild," replied the timid creature.
-from Peter Newell's "Wild Flowers"
Visit the Garden of Paghat the Ratgirl: http://www.paghat.com

"Chelsea Christenson" wrote in message
...
Doug Kanter wrote:
....to plant this spring in a spot where disgusting dog owners like to
stop
their filthy beasts on my property. Shrub must be capable of inflicting
enough damage to send the dog to the vet.

The dogs aren't deciding where to stop. Mutilate the owners.


Great idea, but unfortunately, I'm not always around to greet the assholes.
I'm home today, though, and saw something unbelievable. A slimeball was
walking her dog. She began with the usual routine - letting her dog
investigate the edge of my neighbor's lawn where it meets the street. Then,
she wandered RIGHT INTO THE MIDDLE of a 50' deep lawn, let the dog crap, and
cleaned it up. Where the hell do some dog owners get the idea that this sort
of thing is acceptable???

Doug Kanter wrote:

....to plant this spring in a spot where disgusting dog owners like to stop
their filthy beasts on my property. Shrub must be capable of inflicting
enough damage to send the dog to the vet. I'm thinking of barberry. Open to
suggestions for other shrub options. The planting spot receives sun for
about 2/3 of the day, and will be buried in snow for 3 months out of the
year.



Gorse, common hawthorn, or sloe would do it. Also probably some of the
hedge roses, or bois d' arc if you prune it into a shrub form.

I'm not sure if honey locust can be grown as a shrub.

Best regards,
Bob

"paghat" wrote in message
...
In article , wrote:

Doug Kanter wrote:

....to plant this spring in a spot where disgusting dog owners like to
stop their filthy beasts on my property. Shrub must be capable of
inflicting enough damage to send the dog to the vet. I'm thinking of
barberry. Open to suggestions for other shrub options. The planting
spot
receives sun for about 2/3 of the day, and will be buried in snow for
3
months out of the year.

What about Pyrocantha

I'd think that'd be the best choice. A very pretty "wall" could be grown
of mixed shrubbs starting with pyrocantha as about the biggest thing.
There are hundreds of varieties of hawthorns, some have three to five inch
spikes, most of which would do very well in places with very cold winters
& lots of snow. Barberry bushes & rugosa roses are good intermediate-sized
impenetrable shrubs, euphorbia crown-of-thorns for something shorter, &
vicious groundcovers like some creeping rubra species, or
smilex/greenbriar, or dwarf crimson barberry. A natural barrier of spiky
plants could be very beautiful, flowery, & winter-berried for year-round
color, though one would require enough room in one's yard to steer pretty
clear of it while relaxing, & buy some gardening armor come pruning time.

Rugosa! I lived with a 20' row of those for as many years and loved them. I
keep forgetting.

The spot in question is about 50' from the house, on a street corner.
There's a street sign, and the town could, in theory, say they need access
to it regularly, but I wasn't planning on consulting with them. Anyway...to
narrow the choices a bit: I used to have a monster of a barberry next to my
garage. It was 8 feet high and 5 feet wide. If I needed to paint, or clean
the gutters, I used to squeeze the barberry into a smaller "form"
temporarily by wrapping it in Romex - the wire you find running through the
walls of most houses. If the town ever needed to do whatever towns do to
street signs (like assign 5 guys at $45 per hour to wax it), I'd need a
plant rugged enough to be imprisoned and squeezed like I did with the
barberry.

"Doug Kanter" wrote in message
...

"Chelsea Christenson" wrote in message
...
Doug Kanter wrote:
....to plant this spring in a spot where disgusting dog owners like to
stop
their filthy beasts on my property. Shrub must be capable of inflicting
enough damage to send the dog to the vet.

The dogs aren't deciding where to stop. Mutilate the owners.


Great idea, but unfortunately, I'm not always around to greet the
assholes.
I'm home today, though, and saw something unbelievable. A slimeball was
walking her dog. She began with the usual routine - letting her dog
investigate the edge of my neighbor's lawn where it meets the street.
Then,
she wandered RIGHT INTO THE MIDDLE of a 50' deep lawn, let the dog crap,
and
cleaned it up. Where the hell do some dog owners get the idea that this
sort
of thing is acceptable???

At least she cleaned up after her dog. Most would not have.

Home owners, if caught, should receive heavy fines for allowing their dogs
to use the neighborhood as a toilet.

Apartment buildings that permit tenants to have dogs should be required by
law to have a fenced in area where dogs must be walked.

"Hound Dog" wrote in message
...

"Doug Kanter" wrote in message
...

"Chelsea Christenson" wrote in message
...
Doug Kanter wrote:
....to plant this spring in a spot where disgusting dog owners like
to
stop
their filthy beasts on my property. Shrub must be capable of
inflicting
enough damage to send the dog to the vet.

The dogs aren't deciding where to stop. Mutilate the owners.


Great idea, but unfortunately, I'm not always around to greet the
assholes.
I'm home today, though, and saw something unbelievable. A slimeball was
walking her dog. She began with the usual routine - letting her dog
investigate the edge of my neighbor's lawn where it meets the street.
Then,
she wandered RIGHT INTO THE MIDDLE of a 50' deep lawn, let the dog crap,
and
cleaned it up. Where the hell do some dog owners get the idea that this
sort
of thing is acceptable???

At least she cleaned up after her dog. Most would not have.

Yeah...but the middle of the damned lawn? Hey....why not just come right
into the house?





Home owners, if caught, should receive heavy fines for allowing their dogs
to use the neighborhood as a toilet.

Apartment buildings that permit tenants to have dogs should be required by
law to have a fenced in area where dogs must be walked.

On 12/1/04 4:50 PM, in article , "Hound
Dog" wrote:


"Doug Kanter" wrote in message
...

"Chelsea Christenson" wrote in message
...
Doug Kanter wrote:
....to plant this spring in a spot where disgusting dog owners like to
stop
their filthy beasts on my property. Shrub must be capable of inflicting
enough damage to send the dog to the vet.

The dogs aren't deciding where to stop. Mutilate the owners.


Great idea, but unfortunately, I'm not always around to greet the
assholes.
I'm home today, though, and saw something unbelievable. A slimeball was
walking her dog. She began with the usual routine - letting her dog
investigate the edge of my neighbor's lawn where it meets the street.
Then,
she wandered RIGHT INTO THE MIDDLE of a 50' deep lawn, let the dog crap,
and
cleaned it up. Where the hell do some dog owners get the idea that this
sort
of thing is acceptable???

At least she cleaned up after her dog. Most would not have.

Home owners, if caught, should receive heavy fines for allowing their dogs
to use the neighborhood as a toilet.

Apartment buildings that permit tenants to have dogs should be required by
law to have a fenced in area where dogs must be walked.





There is a real winner that walk a pair of little white things (we can them
the street rats). They've been fined multiple times for not cleaning up
after the dogs and have had animal control called on them countless more.
Hasn't changed a thing....

Cheryl

zxcvbob wrote in message ...
Doug Kanter wrote:

....to plant this spring in a spot where disgusting dog owners like to stop
their filthy beasts on my property. Shrub must be capable of inflicting
enough damage to send the dog to the vet. I'm thinking of barberry. Open to
suggestions for other shrub options. The planting spot receives sun for
about 2/3 of the day, and will be buried in snow for 3 months out of the
year.



Gorse, common hawthorn, or sloe would do it. Also probably some of the
hedge roses, or bois d' arc if you prune it into a shrub form.

I'm not sure if honey locust can be grown as a shrub.

Best regards,
Bob

Watch out for gorse, it can become a major pest. It's officially a
noxious weed in many places.

Barberry and pyracantha are both good. Pick a fireblight-resistant
pyracantha. If minor cruelty to animals doesn't disturb you, birds
pigging out and getting drunk on pyracantha berries can be amusing.

--
Chris Green