Would've thought a simple question about leaves on lawns could generate so much venom? I can feel the testosterone coming off the computer screen.

On Nov 17, 9:54*am, Janet Conroy Janet.Conroy.
wrote:
'Steve[_23_ Wrote:

wrote:-
willshak said:
-
I would never waste beer on the lawn. If I drink the beer, I don't
care
what the lawn looks like! :-)-

Sheer profundity! *=)
-
foamidity!

Would've thought a simple question about leaves on lawns could generate
so much venom? *I can feel the testosterone coming off the computer
screen.

--
Janet Conroy

it's the code of the west; don't mess with my ranchland.

Janet Conroy wrote:

[....]
-
I would never waste beer on the lawn. If I drink the
beer, I don't care
what the lawn looks like! :-)-

Sheer profundity! =)
-
foamidity!

Would've thought a simple question about leaves on lawns could generate
so much venom? I can feel the testosterone coming off the computer
screen.

--
Janet Conroy

on a street in a city there is a row of row houses. each
with it's postage stamp size lot of 1/10 of an acre.

Joseph lives in-between two beer drinkers with the above
mentioned regard for the appearance of their lawns.

on Monday Joseph rakes his lawn and because he is a city
person the enormous task takes him all day leaving him only
a few minutes of day light to enjoy his raked and cleaned lawn.

on Tuesday morning Joseph finds all the leaves from the beer
drinker living to his right have during the night blown into
his yard.

Joseph spends all day Tuesday raking his lawn again and yes due
to the enormous task he only has a few minutes of day light left
at the end of the day to enjoy his clean lawn.

on Wednesday morning Joseph finds all the leaves from the beer
drinker living to his left have during the night blown into his
yard.

Joseph spends all day Wednesday raking his lawn for the third day
in a row and yes due to the enormous task he only has a few minutes
of day light left at the end of the day to enjoy his clean lawn.
this time Joseph decides to turn on all 5 of his security lights so
he can enjoy his clean lawn for awhile longer than the previous two
days.

on Wednesday night both beer drinkers living on each side of Joseph
host sports guy hero worshiping parties in honor of their long awaited
annual sports guy event. on Thursday morning Joseph wakes to find his
lawn is littered with beer cans and pizza delivery boxes.

on Friday Joseph attempts to sell his house and move but finds due
to unforeseen circumstances he owes more on the house than it is worth.

on Saturday ....

Per Jim:
on Friday Joseph attempts to sell his house and move but finds due
to unforeseen circumstances he owes more on the house than it is worth.

on Saturday ....

Reminds me a little bit of this one:


Welcome to the "Lake Effect Snow" in Northern New York.
------------------------------------------------------------------
December 8 - 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the
season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by
the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven.
It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like
newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9 - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow
covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can
there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was
the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years
and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the
sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up
the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got
to shovel again. What a perfect life.

December 12 - The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll
definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be
awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter,
that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's
possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14 - Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature
dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind
took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway
and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this
afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would
have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back
in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15 - 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4
Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels.
Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the
electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska,
after all.

December 16 - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice
in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife
laughed for an hour, Which I think was very cruel.

December 17 - Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go
anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the
blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and
try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove,
but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I
can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20 - Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the
damn stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Goddamn
snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel,
but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're
lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying
a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in
March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the
city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22 - Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13
more inches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold it
probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all
dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to ****. By the
time I got undressed, ****ed and dressed again. I was too tired
to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck
for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think
the jerk is lying.

December 23 - Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The
wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning.
What, is she nuts??? Why didn't she tell me to do that a month
ago??? She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24 - 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the
shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the
son of a bitch who drives that snow plow I'll drag him through
the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken
shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to
finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles
an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been!

Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and
open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the goddamn
snowplow.

December 25 - Merry fricking Christmas! 20 more inches of the
goddamn slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my
blood boil. God I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by
asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel.
The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking
idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time,
I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.

December 26 - Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here?
It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27 - Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze,
plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged
me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.

December 28 - Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. THE BITCH
is driving me crazy!!!

December 29 - 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof
or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How
dumb does he think I am?

December 30 - Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver. He
is now suing me for a million dollars not only for the beating I
gave him but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up
his ass. The wife went home to her mother. 9" predicted.

December 31 - I set fire to what's left of the house. No more
shoveling.

January 8 - Feel so good. I just love those little white pills
they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?
------------------------------------------------------------------

--
PeteCresswell

PeteCresswell wrote:

Per Jim:
on Friday Joseph attempts to sell his house and move but finds due
to unforeseen circumstances he owes more on the house than it is worth.

on Saturday ....

Reminds me a little bit of this one:

Welcome to the "Lake Effect Snow" in Northern New York.

[....]

parody
1: a literary or musical work in which the style of an author
or work is closely imitated for comic effect or in ridicule
2: a feeble or ridiculous imitation syn see caricature