"Mary Fisher" wrote in message
t...

"Alan Holmes" wrote in message
news

"Mr Alun Davies" wrote in message
...
Earlier in the week I received a text from my wife that a pair of Tree
Rats (Squirrels) were gambolling along our back fence leading the dog a
merry dance. Very nice I thought, wildlife in our garden after 3
years.....Niiiiiiice.

Daily visits to the bird table and the stealth stealing of the peanuts
from the feeder suggested that Tree Rats were up to their usual antics
and giving the dog a hard time.

Early A.M we were awoken by a frantic scrambling around complete with
loud crashes, bangs and squealing coming from our dining room.
It transpires, upon me investigating the commotion by using the first
four stairs down as an arse support, that Tree Rat 1 had decided that
venturing INTO the house might be a way of providing itself with more
food, problem was that as my Wife had been up a little earlier and left
the door open to the garden for the dog to wander, Tree Rat 1 was
unaware that the dog was now behind him and a Tail/Dog mouth interface
ensued with Tree Rat 1 having a clear advantage of being able to use
smaller gaps through furniture than a 4 stone dog!

Grab of dog and despatch to other room, shut door. Tree Rat 1 decides to
make a bid for freedom to the kitchen, entirely bypassing the open door
to the garden and to hide behind the cooker.

Plan A: Adrenalin rush in me says grab Tree Rat 1 and despatch to
garden.
Plan A Tree Rat1: Bite the bugger!

Plan B: Bleed profusely from 3 tooth marks in longest finger while
attempting to extract Tree Rat 1 from finger. Dangling 5ft in the air
from my finger DID NOT faze the bugger at all, in fact upon reaching
BONE in my finger resolutely refused to let go.
Plan B Tree Rat 1: Bite harder until flying lessons ensue.

At this point you should have tried to dump the pest in a bucket of
water, making sure it could not get away.

What a good idea!

Find a bucket and take it to kitchen or outside tap and fill it. It
doesn't take long.

Of course it might SEEM like a long time with TR1 dangling from extremity
...

Had another thought, just try to gouge it's eyes out, that would make it let
go and hopefully blind the thing completely.

Alan


Mary

"Mary Fisher" wrote in message
t...

"Dave Liquorice" wrote in message
ll.com...
On Sun, 9 Jul 2006 16:17:11 +0100, Mary Fisher wrote:

At this point you should have tried to dump the pest in a bucket of
water, making sure it could not get away.

What a good idea!

Find a bucket and take it to kitchen ...

We are in the kitchen...

Easy then!

or outside tap and fill it. It doesn't take long.

Quite. One has free hand, the teeth of TR1 are currently safely engaged
in severing a finger. Grab the little bar steward tightly round the neck
until it lets go, remember to continue grabbing the little bar steward
tightly round the neck for several minutes just to make sure the little
bar steward doesn't get a second chance at finger severing.

Well, yes, but Alan was suggesting an alternative solution :-)

Either method would do, but I wonder if the bar steward would have a go at
slashing the hand with it's claws.

Alan


Mary

"Dave Liquorice" wrote in message
ll.com...
On Sun, 9 Jul 2006 20:53:04 +0100, Mary Fisher wrote:

All you needed to do, was lower the extremity + rotating squirrel
attachment into the washing up bowl filled with hot soapy water and
dirty dishes. in about five seconds, all the dishes and the bite area
woulod be spotlessly clean and the squirrel would either have drowned,
or suffocated in an excess of bubbles.

Oh what an excellent suggestion!

For folk who, unlike me, have washing up in the sink.

Agreed Mary there is something really gross about a sink or bowl full of
washing up just sitting there festering and the oils/fats gongealing on
the surface of the water. urgh...

I somehow think that it would take somewaht longer than 5s for TR1 to
drown as well. You'll need a good string grip on the little bar steward
so it might as well be round it's neck.

It takes 8 seconds.

I have timed it on several occassions!

The other thing to mention is
claws and powerful legs, the little bar stewards won't be following the
Queensbury Rules...

Yes that could be a slight problem!

Alan


--
Cheers
Dave. pam is missing e-mail

"Mary Fisher" wrote in message
t...

"BAC" wrote in message
...



You're forgetting it can probably do more damage with its claws than its
teeth. The moral of the tale is not to try to pick up wild animals
without
taking sensible precautions in the first place.

The OP did say that he grabbed the animal during an adrenalin rush. Can
you be certain that in the same circumstances you'd take sensible
precautions?

I suspect I'd have backed off but none of us knows how we'd deal with such
an unusual situation unless we were highly trained. Thankfully, dealing
with squirrels at close quarters isn't a normal part of our lives.

I would have got a net and trapped the thing in that, you could then either
smash the buggers head in with a hammer, or drown it.

Alan

"Alan Holmes" wrote in message
news

"Mary Fisher" wrote in message
t...

"Dave Liquorice" wrote in message
ll.com...
On Sun, 9 Jul 2006 16:17:11 +0100, Mary Fisher wrote:

At this point you should have tried to dump the pest in a bucket of
water, making sure it could not get away.

What a good idea!

Find a bucket and take it to kitchen ...

We are in the kitchen...

Easy then!

or outside tap and fill it. It doesn't take long.

Quite. One has free hand, the teeth of TR1 are currently safely engaged
in severing a finger. Grab the little bar steward tightly round the neck
until it lets go, remember to continue grabbing the little bar steward
tightly round the neck for several minutes just to make sure the little
bar steward doesn't get a second chance at finger severing.

Well, yes, but Alan was suggesting an alternative solution :-)

Either method would do, but I wonder if the bar steward would have a go at
slashing the hand with it's claws.

Didn't need to, it had a firm grip with its gnashers, apparently.

Mary

"Alan Holmes" wrote in message
...



I would have got a net and trapped the thing in that, you could then
either smash the buggers head in with a hammer, or drown it.

Not all of us have a squirrel net to hand ... that is one which will
withstand the teeth.

Alan

"Alan Holmes" wrote in message
news


Had another thought, just try to gouge it's eyes out, that would make it
let go and hopefully blind the thing completely.

This could develop into an interesting thread ...

Mary

On Sat, 8 Jul 2006 12:10:37 +0100, "Mr Alun Davies" wrote:

Earlier in the week I received a text from my wife that a pair of Tree Rats
(Squirrels) were gambolling along our back fence leading the dog a merry
dance. Very nice I thought, wildlife in our garden after 3
years.....Niiiiiiice.

Daily visits to the bird table and the stealth stealing of the peanuts from
the feeder suggested that Tree Rats were up to their usual antics and giving
the dog a hard time.

Early A.M we were awoken by a frantic scrambling around complete with loud
crashes, bangs and squealing coming from our dining room.
It transpires, upon me investigating the commotion by using the first four
stairs down as an arse support, that Tree Rat 1 had decided that venturing
INTO the house might be a way of providing itself with more food, problem
was that as my Wife had been up a little earlier and left the door open to
the garden for the dog to wander, Tree Rat 1 was unaware that the dog was
now behind him and a Tail/Dog mouth interface ensued with Tree Rat 1 having
a clear advantage of being able to use smaller gaps through furniture than a
4 stone dog!

Grab of dog and despatch to other room, shut door. Tree Rat 1 decides to
make a bid for freedom to the kitchen, entirely bypassing the open door to
the garden and to hide behind the cooker.

Plan A: Adrenalin rush in me says grab Tree Rat 1 and despatch to garden.
Plan A Tree Rat1: Bite the bugger!

Plan B: Bleed profusely from 3 tooth marks in longest finger while
attempting to extract Tree Rat 1 from finger. Dangling 5ft in the air from
my finger DID NOT faze the bugger at all, in fact upon reaching BONE in my
finger resolutely refused to let go.
Plan B Tree Rat 1: Bite harder until flying lessons ensue.

It appears that Plan B in both camps was effective.

Lessons Learned:

1 Don't let Tree Rat 1 be cornered.
2 Pick up using thick towel next time if he is
3 Learn Tree Rat language as swearing in human form isn't understood.
4 4 stone dogs are NOT good at Furniture avoidance in small spaces.

All this before 07.30...........so went to work to chill out.





Thank you for the story.
Also it reminded me of this one http://www.vtwinmama.com/demonic_squ...ding_story.htm
The first time I read it I nearly PMSL.

I hope the finger heals ok

Rick... (The other Rick)

"Rick" wrote in message
...

Thank you for the story.
Also it reminded me of this one
http://www.vtwinmama.com/demonic_squ...ding_story.htm

Ah yes, I'd forgotten that one. Brilliant!

Mary

said...
I would have got a net and trapped the thing in that, you could then either
smash the buggers head in with a hammer, or drown it.

Are we to take it you don't like squirrels?

--
To reply see 'from' in headers; lose the domain, and insert dots and @
where common sense dictates.

ng said...
Also it reminded me of this one http://www.vtwinmama.com/demonic_squ...ding_story.htm
The first time I read it I nearly PMSL.

ROFL!! Oh, splendid! I'd post it elsewhere, except that they've
probably seen it already. Hmm, I wonder if the National Assembly for
Wales would appreciate it? I happen to know a few bods concerned with
environmental matters....

--
To reply see 'from' in headers; lose the domain, and insert dots and @
where common sense dictates.

"Sena" wrote in message
t...
ng said...
Also it reminded me of this one
http://www.vtwinmama.com/demonic_squ...ding_story.htm
The first time I read it I nearly PMSL.

ROFL!! Oh, splendid! I'd post it elsewhere, except that they've
probably seen it already. Hmm, I wonder if the National Assembly for
Wales would appreciate it? I happen to know a few bods concerned with
environmental matters....

Are you in Wales?

Mary

--
To reply see 'from' in headers; lose the domain, and insert dots and @
where common sense dictates.

Mary Fisher writes

"Alan Holmes" wrote in message
news


Had another thought, just try to gouge it's eyes out, that would make it
let go and hopefully blind the thing completely.

This could develop into an interesting thread ...

Am I the only one who feels this thread is getting a long way from being
remotely entertaining?
--
Kay

In article ,
K writes:
|
| Am I the only one who feels this thread is getting a long way from being
| remotely entertaining?

No.


Regards,
Nick Maclaren.

"Janet Baraclough" wrote in message
...
The message
from K contains these words:


Am I the only one who feels this thread is getting a long way from being
remotely entertaining?

Maybe it would improve if we widen the discussion.

"I have squirrels in the garden, so should I fill in the pond?
"..discuss.

Janet.

Naughty!

Although I once saw a squirrel fall in our pond. It got out very quickly and
I've never seen anything so thin and miserable! With wet fur there's nothing
to them!

Mary