Earlier in the week I received a text from my wife that a pair of Tree Rats
(Squirrels) were gambolling along our back fence leading the dog a merry
dance. Very nice I thought, wildlife in our garden after 3
years.....Niiiiiiice.

Daily visits to the bird table and the stealth stealing of the peanuts from
the feeder suggested that Tree Rats were up to their usual antics and giving
the dog a hard time.

Early A.M we were awoken by a frantic scrambling around complete with loud
crashes, bangs and squealing coming from our dining room.
It transpires, upon me investigating the commotion by using the first four
stairs down as an arse support, that Tree Rat 1 had decided that venturing
INTO the house might be a way of providing itself with more food, problem
was that as my Wife had been up a little earlier and left the door open to
the garden for the dog to wander, Tree Rat 1 was unaware that the dog was
now behind him and a Tail/Dog mouth interface ensued with Tree Rat 1 having
a clear advantage of being able to use smaller gaps through furniture than a
4 stone dog!

Grab of dog and despatch to other room, shut door. Tree Rat 1 decides to
make a bid for freedom to the kitchen, entirely bypassing the open door to
the garden and to hide behind the cooker.

Plan A: Adrenalin rush in me says grab Tree Rat 1 and despatch to garden.
Plan A Tree Rat1: Bite the bugger!

Plan B: Bleed profusely from 3 tooth marks in longest finger while
attempting to extract Tree Rat 1 from finger. Dangling 5ft in the air from
my finger DID NOT faze the bugger at all, in fact upon reaching BONE in my
finger resolutely refused to let go.
Plan B Tree Rat 1: Bite harder until flying lessons ensue.

It appears that Plan B in both camps was effective.

Lessons Learned:

1 Don't let Tree Rat 1 be cornered.
2 Pick up using thick towel next time if he is
3 Learn Tree Rat language as swearing in human form isn't understood.
4 4 stone dogs are NOT good at Furniture avoidance in small spaces.

All this before 07.30...........so went to work to chill out.

"Mr Alun Davies" wrote in message
...
Earlier in the week I received a text from my wife that a pair of Tree
Rats (Squirrels) were gambolling along our back fence leading the dog a
merry dance. Very nice I thought, wildlife in our garden after 3
years.....Niiiiiiice.

Daily visits to the bird table and the stealth stealing of the peanuts
from the feeder suggested that Tree Rats were up to their usual antics and
giving the dog a hard time.

Early A.M we were awoken by a frantic scrambling around complete with loud
crashes, bangs and squealing coming from our dining room.
It transpires, upon me investigating the commotion by using the first four
stairs down as an arse support, that Tree Rat 1 had decided that venturing
INTO the house might be a way of providing itself with more food, problem
was that as my Wife had been up a little earlier and left the door open to
the garden for the dog to wander, Tree Rat 1 was unaware that the dog was
now behind him and a Tail/Dog mouth interface ensued with Tree Rat 1
having a clear advantage of being able to use smaller gaps through
furniture than a 4 stone dog!

Grab of dog and despatch to other room, shut door. Tree Rat 1 decides to
make a bid for freedom to the kitchen, entirely bypassing the open door to
the garden and to hide behind the cooker.

Plan A: Adrenalin rush in me says grab Tree Rat 1 and despatch to garden.
Plan A Tree Rat1: Bite the bugger!

Plan B: Bleed profusely from 3 tooth marks in longest finger while
attempting to extract Tree Rat 1 from finger. Dangling 5ft in the air from
my finger DID NOT faze the bugger at all, in fact upon reaching BONE in my
finger resolutely refused to let go.
Plan B Tree Rat 1: Bite harder until flying lessons ensue.

It appears that Plan B in both camps was effective.

Lessons Learned:

1 Don't let Tree Rat 1 be cornered.
2 Pick up using thick towel next time if he is
3 Learn Tree Rat language as swearing in human form isn't understood.
4 4 stone dogs are NOT good at Furniture avoidance in small spaces.

All this before 07.30...........so went to work to chill out.

You're lucky, a friend of mine seeing what he thought was a dead "Tree Rat",
on the grass at the side of the road, picked it up and had to attend
hospital for some weeks after they stitched back the skin on his hand (like
a patchwork quilt). Those claws are powerful and sharp just like the teeth.

--
Regards
Bob Hobden
17mls W. of London.UK

On Sat, 8 Jul 2006 12:10:37 +0100, "Mr Alun Davies"
wrote:

Earlier in the week I received a text from my wife that a pair of Tree Rats
(Squirrels) were gambolling along our back fence leading the dog a merry
dance. Very nice I thought, wildlife in our garden after 3
years.....Niiiiiiice.

Daily visits to the bird table and the stealth stealing of the peanuts from
the feeder suggested that Tree Rats were up to their usual antics and giving
the dog a hard time.

Early A.M we were awoken by a frantic scrambling around complete with loud
crashes, bangs and squealing coming from our dining room.
It transpires, upon me investigating the commotion by using the first four
stairs down as an arse support, that Tree Rat 1 had decided that venturing
INTO the house might be a way of providing itself with more food, problem
was that as my Wife had been up a little earlier and left the door open to
the garden for the dog to wander, Tree Rat 1 was unaware that the dog was
now behind him and a Tail/Dog mouth interface ensued with Tree Rat 1 having
a clear advantage of being able to use smaller gaps through furniture than a
4 stone dog!

Grab of dog and despatch to other room, shut door. Tree Rat 1 decides to
make a bid for freedom to the kitchen, entirely bypassing the open door to
the garden and to hide behind the cooker.

Plan A: Adrenalin rush in me says grab Tree Rat 1 and despatch to garden.
Plan A Tree Rat1: Bite the bugger!

Plan B: Bleed profusely from 3 tooth marks in longest finger while
attempting to extract Tree Rat 1 from finger. Dangling 5ft in the air from
my finger DID NOT faze the bugger at all, in fact upon reaching BONE in my
finger resolutely refused to let go.
Plan B Tree Rat 1: Bite harder until flying lessons ensue.

It appears that Plan B in both camps was effective.

Lessons Learned:

1 Don't let Tree Rat 1 be cornered.
2 Pick up using thick towel next time if he is
3 Learn Tree Rat language as swearing in human form isn't understood.
4 4 stone dogs are NOT good at Furniture avoidance in small spaces.

All this before 07.30...........so went to work to chill out.



Hope you went to A&E ( or local GP if you could get ti see them ! )
for an anti-tetanus injection ?



Elizabeth in Renfrewshire, Scotland.
Removex to reply

"Mr Alun Davies" wrote in message
...
Earlier in the week I received a text from my wife that a pair of Tree
Rats (Squirrels) were gambolling along our back fence leading the dog a
merry dance. Very nice I thought, wildlife in our garden after 3
years.....Niiiiiiice.

Daily visits to the bird table and the stealth stealing of the peanuts
from the feeder suggested that Tree Rats were up to their usual antics and
giving the dog a hard time.

Early A.M we were awoken by a frantic scrambling around complete with loud
crashes, bangs and squealing coming from our dining room.
It transpires, upon me investigating the commotion by using the first four
stairs down as an arse support, that Tree Rat 1 had decided that venturing
INTO the house might be a way of providing itself with more food, problem
was that as my Wife had been up a little earlier and left the door open to
the garden for the dog to wander, Tree Rat 1 was unaware that the dog was
now behind him and a Tail/Dog mouth interface ensued with Tree Rat 1
having a clear advantage of being able to use smaller gaps through
furniture than a 4 stone dog!

Grab of dog and despatch to other room, shut door. Tree Rat 1 decides to
make a bid for freedom to the kitchen, entirely bypassing the open door to
the garden and to hide behind the cooker.

Plan A: Adrenalin rush in me says grab Tree Rat 1 and despatch to garden.
Plan A Tree Rat1: Bite the bugger!

Plan B: Bleed profusely from 3 tooth marks in longest finger while
attempting to extract Tree Rat 1 from finger. Dangling 5ft in the air from
my finger DID NOT faze the bugger at all, in fact upon reaching BONE in my
finger resolutely refused to let go.
Plan B Tree Rat 1: Bite harder until flying lessons ensue.

At this point you should have tried to dump the pest in a bucket of water,
making sure it could not get away.

Alan

"Alan Holmes" wrote in message
news

"Mr Alun Davies" wrote in message
...
Earlier in the week I received a text from my wife that a pair of Tree
Rats (Squirrels) were gambolling along our back fence leading the dog a
merry dance. Very nice I thought, wildlife in our garden after 3
years.....Niiiiiiice.

Daily visits to the bird table and the stealth stealing of the peanuts
from the feeder suggested that Tree Rats were up to their usual antics
and giving the dog a hard time.

Early A.M we were awoken by a frantic scrambling around complete with
loud crashes, bangs and squealing coming from our dining room.
It transpires, upon me investigating the commotion by using the first
four stairs down as an arse support, that Tree Rat 1 had decided that
venturing INTO the house might be a way of providing itself with more
food, problem was that as my Wife had been up a little earlier and left
the door open to the garden for the dog to wander, Tree Rat 1 was unaware
that the dog was now behind him and a Tail/Dog mouth interface ensued
with Tree Rat 1 having a clear advantage of being able to use smaller
gaps through furniture than a 4 stone dog!

Grab of dog and despatch to other room, shut door. Tree Rat 1 decides to
make a bid for freedom to the kitchen, entirely bypassing the open door
to the garden and to hide behind the cooker.

Plan A: Adrenalin rush in me says grab Tree Rat 1 and despatch to garden.
Plan A Tree Rat1: Bite the bugger!

Plan B: Bleed profusely from 3 tooth marks in longest finger while
attempting to extract Tree Rat 1 from finger. Dangling 5ft in the air
from my finger DID NOT faze the bugger at all, in fact upon reaching BONE
in my finger resolutely refused to let go.
Plan B Tree Rat 1: Bite harder until flying lessons ensue.

At this point you should have tried to dump the pest in a bucket of water,
making sure it could not get away.

What a good idea!

Find a bucket and take it to kitchen or outside tap and fill it. It doesn't
take long.

Of course it might SEEM like a long time with TR1 dangling from extremity
....

Mary

On Sun, 9 Jul 2006 16:17:11 +0100, Mary Fisher wrote:

At this point you should have tried to dump the pest in a bucket of
water, making sure it could not get away.

What a good idea!

Find a bucket and take it to kitchen ...

We are in the kitchen...

or outside tap and fill it. It doesn't take long.

Quite. One has free hand, the teeth of TR1 are currently safely engaged
in severing a finger. Grab the little bar steward tightly round the neck
until it lets go, remember to continue grabbing the little bar steward
tightly round the neck for several minutes just to make sure the little
bar steward doesn't get a second chance at finger severing.

Finally take ones self off to the local Casualty department for the bite
to be properly cleaned and tidied up. And requisite injections given,
tetanus and possibly some antibiotics.

--
Cheers
Dave. pam is missing e-mail

"Dave Liquorice" wrote in message
ll.com...
On Sun, 9 Jul 2006 16:17:11 +0100, Mary Fisher wrote:

At this point you should have tried to dump the pest in a bucket of
water, making sure it could not get away.

What a good idea!

Find a bucket and take it to kitchen ...

We are in the kitchen...

Easy then!

or outside tap and fill it. It doesn't take long.

Quite. One has free hand, the teeth of TR1 are currently safely engaged
in severing a finger. Grab the little bar steward tightly round the neck
until it lets go, remember to continue grabbing the little bar steward
tightly round the neck for several minutes just to make sure the little
bar steward doesn't get a second chance at finger severing.

Well, yes, but Alan was suggesting an alternative solution :-)

Mary

"Janet Baraclough" wrote in message
...
The message om
from "Dave Liquorice" contains these words:

On Sun, 9 Jul 2006 16:17:11 +0100, Mary Fisher wrote:

At this point you should have tried to dump the pest in a bucket of
water, making sure it could not get away.

What a good idea!

Find a bucket and take it to kitchen ...

We are in the kitchen...

or outside tap and fill it. It doesn't take long.

Quite. One has free hand, the teeth of TR1 are currently safely engaged
in severing a finger.

All you needed to do, was lower the extremity + rotating squirrel
attachment into the washing up bowl filled with hot soapy water and
dirty dishes. In about five seconds, all the dishes and the bite area
woulod be spotlessly clean and the squirrel would either have drowned,
or suffocated in an excess of bubbles.

Oh what an excellent suggestion!

For folk who, unlike me, have washing up in the sink.

Mary
who last night did because of a phone call reminding us of a party when we'd
forgotten and had to rush out ... :-(

"Mr Alun Davies" wrote in message
...
Earlier in the week I received a text from my wife that a pair of Tree
Rats (Squirrels) were gambolling along our back fence leading the dog a
merry dance. Very nice I thought, wildlife in our garden after 3
years.....Niiiiiiice.
snip

You'll all be pleased to know that TR1 is alive and (unfortunately) well.
My finger swelled up and the bubble burst after I "disinfected" it with 8
year old Irish whisky, much of which was drunk also.
Last nights outing to the restaurant for our anniversary wasn't marred in
the slightest by SWMBO telling all and sundry I was a tree rat victim !
and lastly my finger has gone down and I don't have any lasting effects
other than a craving for Kent Cob nuts...

"Mr Alun Davies" wrote in message
...


You'll all be pleased to know that TR1 is alive and (unfortunately) well.
My finger swelled up and the bubble burst after I "disinfected" it with 8
year old Irish whisky, much of which was drunk also.

Most Irish whiskey, to me, tastes like I imagine paint stripper smells
:-( I'm sure it would do a great job of disinfecting and in distress could
be drunk.

Last nights outing to the restaurant for our anniversary wasn't marred in
the slightest by SWMBO telling all and sundry I was a tree rat victim !

Of course not. You were a hero!

and lastly my finger has gone down

er - gone down where?

and I don't have any lasting effects other than a craving for Kent Cob
nuts...

LOL!

Thanks for instigating an amusing thread :-)

Mary

On Sun, 9 Jul 2006 20:53:04 +0100, Mary Fisher wrote:

All you needed to do, was lower the extremity + rotating squirrel
attachment into the washing up bowl filled with hot soapy water and
dirty dishes. in about five seconds, all the dishes and the bite area
woulod be spotlessly clean and the squirrel would either have drowned,
or suffocated in an excess of bubbles.

Oh what an excellent suggestion!

For folk who, unlike me, have washing up in the sink.

Agreed Mary there is something really gross about a sink or bowl full of
washing up just sitting there festering and the oils/fats gongealing on
the surface of the water. urgh...

I somehow think that it would take somewaht longer than 5s for TR1 to
drown as well. You'll need a good string grip on the little bar steward
so it might as well be round it's neck. The other thing to mention is
claws and powerful legs, the little bar stewards won't be following the
Queensbury Rules...

--
Cheers
Dave. pam is missing e-mail

"Dave Liquorice" wrote in message
ll.com...
On Sun, 9 Jul 2006 16:17:11 +0100, Mary Fisher wrote:

At this point you should have tried to dump the pest in a bucket of
water, making sure it could not get away.

What a good idea!

Find a bucket and take it to kitchen ...

We are in the kitchen...

or outside tap and fill it. It doesn't take long.

Quite. One has free hand, the teeth of TR1 are currently safely engaged
in severing a finger. Grab the little bar steward tightly round the neck
until it lets go, remember to continue grabbing the little bar steward
tightly round the neck for several minutes just to make sure the little
bar steward doesn't get a second chance at finger severing.


You're forgetting it can probably do more damage with its claws than its
teeth. The moral of the tale is not to try to pick up wild animals without
taking sensible precautions in the first place.

"Dave Liquorice" wrote in message
ll.com...
....

Agreed Mary there is something really gross about a sink or bowl full of
washing up just sitting there festering and the oils/fats gongealing on
the surface of the water. urgh...

I bow to your greater experience :-)

We never have fats and oils in washing up water anyway, it's easy to wipe
any off with a paper towel. Yorkshire Water spent more than £3m last year
unblocking pipes clogged with fats.

And somehow that hot meaty succulence is disgusting when it's cold and
greasy :-(

I somehow think that it would take somewaht longer than 5s for TR1 to
drown as well. You'll need a good string grip on the little bar steward
so it might as well be round it's neck. The other thing to mention is
claws and powerful legs, the little bar stewards won't be following the
Queensbury Rules...

Sounds as though you wouldn't be either :-)

Do they have fleas?

Mary

"BAC" wrote in message
...



You're forgetting it can probably do more damage with its claws than its
teeth. The moral of the tale is not to try to pick up wild animals without
taking sensible precautions in the first place.

The OP did say that he grabbed the animal during an adrenalin rush. Can you
be certain that in the same circumstances you'd take sensible precautions?

I suspect I'd have backed off but none of us knows how we'd deal with such
an unusual situation unless we were highly trained. Thankfully, dealing with
squirrels at close quarters isn't a normal part of our lives.

The theory is fine until you have to face the problem.

For instance, dealing with bees and wasps is easy for me because I did a lot
of it but most people panic and don't take sensible precautions - or what
they think are sensible precautions are not sensible.

Mary

"Mary Fisher" wrote in message
t...

"BAC" wrote in message
...



You're forgetting it can probably do more damage with its claws than its
teeth. The moral of the tale is not to try to pick up wild animals
without
taking sensible precautions in the first place.

The OP did say that he grabbed the animal during an adrenalin rush. Can
you
be certain that in the same circumstances you'd take sensible precautions?

Yes, 100% certain. I'd no more grab a (scared) wild squirrel with my bare
hands than I'd grab a rat or a feral cat or a stray dog or a mink or
whatever in similar circumstances. If its got teeth and claws and its
scared, it shouldn't surprise people if it uses them.


I suspect I'd have backed off but none of us knows how we'd deal with such
an unusual situation unless we were highly trained.

I can't agree with that. You don't have to be highly trained, you just have
to exercise sensible caution.

Thankfully, dealing with
squirrels at close quarters isn't a normal part of our lives.

The theory is fine until you have to face the problem.

I expect the OP would wish others to benefit from his experience, and that
he would advise them not to try and grab a squirrel with their bare hands -
as I said, that's the moral of the tale, and hopefully people will pick up
on that.


For instance, dealing with bees and wasps is easy for me because I did a
lot
of it but most people panic and don't take sensible precautions - or what
they think are sensible precautions are not sensible.


I doubt many people would think grabbing hold of a 'trapped' wasp with their
bare hand was particularly sensible :-)