A couple of years ago we went to the expense of putting up a new wooden
fence, in part to please our neighbours since they wanted it. They promptly
grew Ivy up it on their side, which is beginning to poke its way through the
slates and so is only a matter of time before the fence becomes seriously
damaged.

I have mentioned several times they could hang the ivy on to some wire
netting and then hang the netting on the fence thus being able to keep the
ivy from forcing its way through.

They have chosen to ignore the requests, so rather than bang on about it
damaging the fence, I have told them the Ivy needs to come off so I can
paint the fence with preservative. Seeing how these things like cuprinol
seem to peel after after a couple of years and is very expensive anyway, I
dont really want to do it, and also don't really believe it necessary anyway
since the fence panes are a hardwood of some kind.

So I'm wondering what I can pretend to be painting on, that will really not
cost a lot. Someone told me that we are no longer able to use creosote for
health reasons, but that would have been ideal since i could have really
diluted it down and done a good *pretend* job with it.

Any suggestions please with this real life drama-comedy?