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Old 02-03-2011, 01:46 PM posted to uk.rec.gardening
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Posts: 3,959
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Sense of humour.

'Clever' sense of humour and a play on words.

Nothing vulgar or insulting ..... such as :

Larry Lobster and Sam Clam where best friends.
They did everything together. The only difference between them is that Larry
was the nicest Lobster ever and Sam, well lets just say he was not so good.
Larry and Sam did so much together that they even died together. Larry went
to heaven and Sam went to hell.

Larry was doing well in heaven and one day St. Peter came up to him and said
"Larry, you know you are the nicest lobster we ever had up here. Everyone
likes you but you seem to be a bit depressed. Tell me what is bothering you,
maybe I can help."

Larry said, "Well, don't get me wrong Pete, I like it up here and
everything, but I really miss my good friend Sam Clam. We used to do
everything together and I really miss him a lot."

St. Peter looked at Larry with pity and said to him, "I tell you what, I can
arrange it so that you can go down to hell tomorrow and visit Sam all day.
How would that sound?"

This made Larry very happy and he got up bright and early the next morning
and grabbed his wings, his harp, and his halo and got in the elevator to
hell. When the doors opened he was met by Sam. The hugged each other and
they were off. Larry found out that in Hell Sam owned a disco, and they
spent the day there together and had a great time.

At the end of the day Larry and Sam went back to the elevator together said
their goodbyes and Larry got back in the elevator and went up to heaven. He
stepped off the elevator and was greeted by St. Peter who blocked the
doorway to heaven. He looked at Larry and said, "Larry Lobster, didn't you
forget something?"

Larry looked around and said "No, I don't think so I have my halo and my
wings."

St. Peter looked at him and said, "Yes, but what about your harp?"

Larry gasped and said, "I Left My Harp in Sam Clam's Disco.



Please don't hesitate to come back to me if the speakers are too high.

Mike

--

....................................
Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive
....................................





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Old 04-03-2011, 11:35 AM posted to uk.rec.gardening
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Posts: 1,775
Default Jokes

"'Mike'" wrote in
:

Sense of humour.

'Clever' sense of humour and a play on words.

Nothing vulgar or insulting ..... such as :

Larry Lobster and Sam Clam where best friends.
They did everything together. The only difference between them is that
Larry was the nicest Lobster ever and Sam, well lets just say he was
not so good. Larry and Sam did so much together that they even died
together. Larry went to heaven and Sam went to hell.

Larry was doing well in heaven and one day St. Peter came up to him
and said "Larry, you know you are the nicest lobster we ever had up
here. Everyone likes you but you seem to be a bit depressed. Tell me
what is bothering you, maybe I can help."

Larry said, "Well, don't get me wrong Pete, I like it up here and
everything, but I really miss my good friend Sam Clam. We used to do
everything together and I really miss him a lot."

St. Peter looked at Larry with pity and said to him, "I tell you what,
I can arrange it so that you can go down to hell tomorrow and visit
Sam all day. How would that sound?"

This made Larry very happy and he got up bright and early the next
morning and grabbed his wings, his harp, and his halo and got in the
elevator to hell. When the doors opened he was met by Sam. The hugged
each other and they were off. Larry found out that in Hell Sam owned a
disco, and they spent the day there together and had a great time.

At the end of the day Larry and Sam went back to the elevator together
said their goodbyes and Larry got back in the elevator and went up to
heaven. He stepped off the elevator and was greeted by St. Peter who
blocked the doorway to heaven. He looked at Larry and said, "Larry
Lobster, didn't you forget something?"

Larry looked around and said "No, I don't think so I have my halo and
my wings."

St. Peter looked at him and said, "Yes, but what about your harp?"

Larry gasped and said, "I Left My Harp in Sam Clam's Disco.



Please don't hesitate to come back to me if the speakers are too high.

Mike


See!
How hard was that?

Baz
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Old 04-03-2011, 11:48 AM posted to uk.rec.gardening
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First recorded activity by GardenBanter: Jan 2009
Posts: 3,959
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"Baz" wrote in message
...
"'Mike'" wrote in
:

Sense of humour.

'Clever' sense of humour and a play on words.

Nothing vulgar or insulting ..... such as :

Larry Lobster and Sam Clam where best friends.
They did everything together. The only difference between them is that
Larry was the nicest Lobster ever and Sam, well lets just say he was
not so good. Larry and Sam did so much together that they even died
together. Larry went to heaven and Sam went to hell.

Larry was doing well in heaven and one day St. Peter came up to him
and said "Larry, you know you are the nicest lobster we ever had up
here. Everyone likes you but you seem to be a bit depressed. Tell me
what is bothering you, maybe I can help."

Larry said, "Well, don't get me wrong Pete, I like it up here and
everything, but I really miss my good friend Sam Clam. We used to do
everything together and I really miss him a lot."

St. Peter looked at Larry with pity and said to him, "I tell you what,
I can arrange it so that you can go down to hell tomorrow and visit
Sam all day. How would that sound?"

This made Larry very happy and he got up bright and early the next
morning and grabbed his wings, his harp, and his halo and got in the
elevator to hell. When the doors opened he was met by Sam. The hugged
each other and they were off. Larry found out that in Hell Sam owned a
disco, and they spent the day there together and had a great time.

At the end of the day Larry and Sam went back to the elevator together
said their goodbyes and Larry got back in the elevator and went up to
heaven. He stepped off the elevator and was greeted by St. Peter who
blocked the doorway to heaven. He looked at Larry and said, "Larry
Lobster, didn't you forget something?"

Larry looked around and said "No, I don't think so I have my halo and
my wings."

St. Peter looked at him and said, "Yes, but what about your harp?"

Larry gasped and said, "I Left My Harp in Sam Clam's Disco.



Please don't hesitate to come back to me if the speakers are too high.

Mike


See!
How hard was that?

Baz


Wasn't hard at all. Nobody insulted and the sort you could say in front of
strangers.

Try it some time.

Leave the vulgar ones and swearing for those in the gutter.

Kindest regards

Mike


--

....................................
Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive
....................................



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Old 04-03-2011, 11:51 AM posted to uk.rec.gardening
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Posts: 3,959
Default was Jokes



"Martin" wrote in message
...
On Fri, 04 Mar 2011 11:35:31 GMT, Baz wrote:

"'Mike'" wrote in
:


snipped OT rubbish

See!
How hard was that?


Other than him posting to the wrong newsgroup?

--

Martin


Not at all. Another poster posted a 'funny in his eyes' comment which was
'supposed' to be funny for all, but more insulting. As it was a subscriber
to this newsgroup/forum, I posted what I consider to a 'play on words' and
clever joke.

Sorry if you didn't get it.

Kindest possible regards

Mike


--

....................................
Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive
....................................



  #5   Report Post  
Old 05-03-2011, 01:09 PM posted to uk.rec.gardening
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First recorded activity by GardenBanter: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,129
Default Jokes


"'Mike'" wrote in message
...


"Baz" wrote in message
...
"'Mike'" wrote in
:


Wasn't hard at all. Nobody insulted and the sort you could say in front of
strangers.

Try it some time.

Leave the vulgar ones and swearing for those in the gutter.

Kindest regards

Mike


--

...................................
Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive
...................................


.....and for goodness sake try snipping the main content which is repeated
endlessly.

Bill




  #6   Report Post  
Old 05-03-2011, 01:32 PM posted to uk.rec.gardening
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First recorded activity by GardenBanter: Jan 2009
Posts: 3,959
Default Jokes


"Bill Grey" wrote in message
...

"'Mike'" wrote in message
...


"Baz" wrote in message
...
"'Mike'" wrote in
:


Wasn't hard at all. Nobody insulted and the sort you could say in front
of strangers.

Try it some time.

Leave the vulgar ones and swearing for those in the gutter.

Kindest regards

Mike


--

...................................
Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive
...................................


....and for goodness sake try snipping the main content which is repeated
endlessly.

Bill


Try telling that to others who should know.

Kindest regards

Mike


--

....................................
Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive
....................................




  #7   Report Post  
Old 05-03-2011, 02:10 PM posted to uk.rec.gardening
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First recorded activity by GardenBanter: Oct 2010
Posts: 1,775
Default Jokes

"'Mike'" wrote in
:


Try telling that to others who should know.

Kindest regards

Mike



He did!
Following on from my last 'joke'
Bet your dad wished he had snipped, or at least taken your mother to the
hospital in time.

Baz
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