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#1
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Jokes
Sense of humour.
'Clever' sense of humour and a play on words. Nothing vulgar or insulting ..... such as : Larry Lobster and Sam Clam where best friends. They did everything together. The only difference between them is that Larry was the nicest Lobster ever and Sam, well lets just say he was not so good. Larry and Sam did so much together that they even died together. Larry went to heaven and Sam went to hell. Larry was doing well in heaven and one day St. Peter came up to him and said "Larry, you know you are the nicest lobster we ever had up here. Everyone likes you but you seem to be a bit depressed. Tell me what is bothering you, maybe I can help." Larry said, "Well, don't get me wrong Pete, I like it up here and everything, but I really miss my good friend Sam Clam. We used to do everything together and I really miss him a lot." St. Peter looked at Larry with pity and said to him, "I tell you what, I can arrange it so that you can go down to hell tomorrow and visit Sam all day. How would that sound?" This made Larry very happy and he got up bright and early the next morning and grabbed his wings, his harp, and his halo and got in the elevator to hell. When the doors opened he was met by Sam. The hugged each other and they were off. Larry found out that in Hell Sam owned a disco, and they spent the day there together and had a great time. At the end of the day Larry and Sam went back to the elevator together said their goodbyes and Larry got back in the elevator and went up to heaven. He stepped off the elevator and was greeted by St. Peter who blocked the doorway to heaven. He looked at Larry and said, "Larry Lobster, didn't you forget something?" Larry looked around and said "No, I don't think so I have my halo and my wings." St. Peter looked at him and said, "Yes, but what about your harp?" Larry gasped and said, "I Left My Harp in Sam Clam's Disco. Please don't hesitate to come back to me if the speakers are too high. Mike -- .................................... Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive .................................... |
#2
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Jokes
"'Mike'" wrote in
: Sense of humour. 'Clever' sense of humour and a play on words. Nothing vulgar or insulting ..... such as : Larry Lobster and Sam Clam where best friends. They did everything together. The only difference between them is that Larry was the nicest Lobster ever and Sam, well lets just say he was not so good. Larry and Sam did so much together that they even died together. Larry went to heaven and Sam went to hell. Larry was doing well in heaven and one day St. Peter came up to him and said "Larry, you know you are the nicest lobster we ever had up here. Everyone likes you but you seem to be a bit depressed. Tell me what is bothering you, maybe I can help." Larry said, "Well, don't get me wrong Pete, I like it up here and everything, but I really miss my good friend Sam Clam. We used to do everything together and I really miss him a lot." St. Peter looked at Larry with pity and said to him, "I tell you what, I can arrange it so that you can go down to hell tomorrow and visit Sam all day. How would that sound?" This made Larry very happy and he got up bright and early the next morning and grabbed his wings, his harp, and his halo and got in the elevator to hell. When the doors opened he was met by Sam. The hugged each other and they were off. Larry found out that in Hell Sam owned a disco, and they spent the day there together and had a great time. At the end of the day Larry and Sam went back to the elevator together said their goodbyes and Larry got back in the elevator and went up to heaven. He stepped off the elevator and was greeted by St. Peter who blocked the doorway to heaven. He looked at Larry and said, "Larry Lobster, didn't you forget something?" Larry looked around and said "No, I don't think so I have my halo and my wings." St. Peter looked at him and said, "Yes, but what about your harp?" Larry gasped and said, "I Left My Harp in Sam Clam's Disco. Please don't hesitate to come back to me if the speakers are too high. Mike See! How hard was that? Baz |
#3
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Jokes
"Baz" wrote in message ... "'Mike'" wrote in : Sense of humour. 'Clever' sense of humour and a play on words. Nothing vulgar or insulting ..... such as : Larry Lobster and Sam Clam where best friends. They did everything together. The only difference between them is that Larry was the nicest Lobster ever and Sam, well lets just say he was not so good. Larry and Sam did so much together that they even died together. Larry went to heaven and Sam went to hell. Larry was doing well in heaven and one day St. Peter came up to him and said "Larry, you know you are the nicest lobster we ever had up here. Everyone likes you but you seem to be a bit depressed. Tell me what is bothering you, maybe I can help." Larry said, "Well, don't get me wrong Pete, I like it up here and everything, but I really miss my good friend Sam Clam. We used to do everything together and I really miss him a lot." St. Peter looked at Larry with pity and said to him, "I tell you what, I can arrange it so that you can go down to hell tomorrow and visit Sam all day. How would that sound?" This made Larry very happy and he got up bright and early the next morning and grabbed his wings, his harp, and his halo and got in the elevator to hell. When the doors opened he was met by Sam. The hugged each other and they were off. Larry found out that in Hell Sam owned a disco, and they spent the day there together and had a great time. At the end of the day Larry and Sam went back to the elevator together said their goodbyes and Larry got back in the elevator and went up to heaven. He stepped off the elevator and was greeted by St. Peter who blocked the doorway to heaven. He looked at Larry and said, "Larry Lobster, didn't you forget something?" Larry looked around and said "No, I don't think so I have my halo and my wings." St. Peter looked at him and said, "Yes, but what about your harp?" Larry gasped and said, "I Left My Harp in Sam Clam's Disco. Please don't hesitate to come back to me if the speakers are too high. Mike See! How hard was that? Baz Wasn't hard at all. Nobody insulted and the sort you could say in front of strangers. Try it some time. Leave the vulgar ones and swearing for those in the gutter. Kindest regards Mike -- .................................... Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive .................................... |
#4
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was Jokes
"Martin" wrote in message ... On Fri, 04 Mar 2011 11:35:31 GMT, Baz wrote: "'Mike'" wrote in : snipped OT rubbish See! How hard was that? Other than him posting to the wrong newsgroup? -- Martin Not at all. Another poster posted a 'funny in his eyes' comment which was 'supposed' to be funny for all, but more insulting. As it was a subscriber to this newsgroup/forum, I posted what I consider to a 'play on words' and clever joke. Sorry if you didn't get it. Kindest possible regards Mike -- .................................... Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive .................................... |
#5
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Jokes
"'Mike'" wrote in message ... "Baz" wrote in message ... "'Mike'" wrote in : Wasn't hard at all. Nobody insulted and the sort you could say in front of strangers. Try it some time. Leave the vulgar ones and swearing for those in the gutter. Kindest regards Mike -- ................................... Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive ................................... .....and for goodness sake try snipping the main content which is repeated endlessly. Bill |
#6
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Jokes
"Bill Grey" wrote in message ... "'Mike'" wrote in message ... "Baz" wrote in message ... "'Mike'" wrote in : Wasn't hard at all. Nobody insulted and the sort you could say in front of strangers. Try it some time. Leave the vulgar ones and swearing for those in the gutter. Kindest regards Mike -- ................................... Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive ................................... ....and for goodness sake try snipping the main content which is repeated endlessly. Bill Try telling that to others who should know. Kindest regards Mike -- .................................... Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive .................................... |
#7
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Jokes
"'Mike'" wrote in
: Try telling that to others who should know. Kindest regards Mike He did! Following on from my last 'joke' Bet your dad wished he had snipped, or at least taken your mother to the hospital in time. Baz |
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