We have some new neighbours that have moved in next door and they ask to
borrow garden tools (and car tools).

The problem for me is I have to go and ask for them back, and they are not
always there. I wanted to use my garden rake today and went around to get it
back, but they are out; so I cannot do the job.

We like these neighbours and want to remain friends. What reason can I give
to them not to lend my tools to them which will cause the minimal amount of
friction? I'm looking for an imaginative (yet plausible) excuse to give
them.

john east wrote:

We have some new neighbours that have moved in next door and they ask
to borrow garden tools (and car tools).

The problem for me is I have to go and ask for them back, and they
are not always there. I wanted to use my garden rake today and went
around to get it back, but they are out; so I cannot do the job.

We like these neighbours and want to remain friends. What reason can
I give to them not to lend my tools to them which will cause the
minimal amount of friction? I'm looking for an imaginative (yet
plausible) excuse to give them.

Just say no, until the previous loan is returned.

Or just say no ...

--
Paul - xxx

say a family member has already requested them

Why not suggest to your neighbours that they go to the next car-boot sale in your area and get some tools for themselves - usually the basics are available really inexpensively - One can generally pick up spades / forks / hoes / rakes for £2-£3 each. Alternative why not suggest they post a 'wanted' on Freecycle.

If you do lend tools NEVER lend your secateurs !!

Reasons and excuses are a bad idea. Honesty, expressed in the appropriate manner, is far more effective. Just tell them, quite honestly, precisely how you feel when they hold on to your stuff (eg disappointed in them, irate, whatever is exactly true) and why (because it looks like you don't respect my stuff, or because I don't have it when I need it, whatever is exactly true). Unless they are sociopaths or have other personality disorders, this is a very effective way of getting people on side, which is why it is taught in management schools.

Then in future set a time limit for bringing them back, and enforce it. That way, you will definitely have your tool when you need it.

In article ,
john east wrote:
We have some new neighbours that have moved in next door and they ask to
borrow garden tools (and car tools).

The problem for me is I have to go and ask for them back, and they are
not always there. I wanted to use my garden rake today and went around
to get it back, but they are out; so I cannot do the job.

We like these neighbours and want to remain friends. What reason can I
give to them not to lend my tools to them which will cause the minimal
amount of friction? I'm looking for an imaginative (yet plausible)
excuse to give them.

What you're doing is people pleasing or buying friendship. Neither is a
good idea long term. I'll happily lend such stuff but expect it back
immediately after use. If that doesn't happen without a good excuse, it
shows a lack of respect. And I simply won't do so again. Anyone who can't
accept this is best avoided.

--
*I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions. *

Dave Plowman London SW
To e-mail, change noise into sound.

On Mon, 03 Oct 2011 10:43:25 +0100, Dave Plowman (News) wrote:

I'll happily lend such stuff but expect it back immediately after use.
If that doesn't happen without a good excuse, it shows a lack of
respect. And I simply won't do so again. Anyone who can't accept this is
best avoided.

Aye, I detest lending any tools. There are three scenarios:

Tool is not promptly returned.
Tool is returned but damaged.
Tool is promptly returned.

1 out 3 for a good result from the loan, not odds I like.

These people have alraedy shown that they cannot be trusted to bring
the tool back promptly and this has caused *you* inconvience. They
are taking advantage, don't let 'em.

--
Cheers
Dave.

Dave Liquorice wrote:

On Mon, 03 Oct 2011 10:43:25 +0100, Dave Plowman (News) wrote:

I'll happily lend such stuff but expect it back immediately after
use. If that doesn't happen without a good excuse, it shows a lack of
respect. And I simply won't do so again. Anyone who can't accept this
is best avoided.

Aye, I detest lending any tools. There are three scenarios:

Tool is not promptly returned.
Tool is returned but damaged.
Tool is promptly returned.

1 out 3 for a good result from the loan, not odds I like.

These people have alraedy shown that they cannot be trusted to bring
the tool back promptly and this has caused *you* inconvience. They
are taking advantage, don't let 'em.


I lent a drill and drill bits to a neighbour, he got snotty with me because
"your 3mm bit broke, I had to use the next size down", like I had
inconvenienced him. Did he replace the broken bit? No. Did I ever lend him
anything again? Not a chance.

In article ,
Scion wrote:
I lent a drill and drill bits to a neighbour, he got snotty with me
because "your 3mm bit broke, I had to use the next size down", like I
had inconvenienced him. Did he replace the broken bit? No. Did I ever
lend him anything again? Not a chance.

There was a 'wanted' post on the local FreeCycle group from one who'd
borrowed a drill and bits, and broken the 2mm one. Asking for a
replacement. Being a kindly soul I supplied one. They're 1.50 for 20 at my
local market.

(I assembled a very decent Hi-Fi for a local community centre out of bits
from FreeCycle, so felt I owed it something)

--
*Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

Dave Plowman London SW
To e-mail, change noise into sound.

In article , Scion
writes
I lent a drill and drill bits to a neighbour, he got snotty with me because
"your 3mm bit broke, I had to use the next size down", like I had
inconvenienced him. Did he replace the broken bit? No. Did I ever lend him
anything again? Not a chance.


We once lent our car to a family whose car broke at the last minute
before they went to Scotland for a fortnight.
On return minus petrol, they said "we had a blow out on the motorway on
the way home - flat tyre's in the boot"

Janet Tweedy wrote:
In article , Scion
writes
I lent a drill and drill bits to a neighbour, he got snotty with me
because "your 3mm bit broke, I had to use the next size down", like
I had inconvenienced him. Did he replace the broken bit? No. Did I
ever lend him anything again? Not a chance.


We once lent our car to a family whose car broke at the last minute
before they went to Scotland for a fortnight.
On return minus petrol, they said "we had a blow out on the motorway
on the way home - flat tyre's in the boot"

Ouch!

In the days before sat nav a friend asked to borrow my Derbyshire map book.
He returned it 10 minutes later after ripping out the page that he needed.

But not everyone is like that. The last guy to borrow my cement mixer had to
do with my old 110V transformer that had a damaged case. When he returned it
he had fixed the case with fibre glass and he had done a brilliant job.

--
Adam

On 10/03/2011 09:43 AM, john east wrote:
We have some new neighbours that have moved in next door and they ask to
borrow garden tools (and car tools).

The problem for me is I have to go and ask for them back, and they are not
always there. I wanted to use my garden rake today and went around to get it
back, but they are out; so I cannot do the job.

We like these neighbours and want to remain friends. What reason can I give
to them not to lend my tools to them which will cause the minimal amount of
friction? I'm looking for an imaginative (yet plausible) excuse to give
them.

'I *really* don't want to fall out with you over this but unless things
are returned immediately, then this is the last time. I hope you can
understand how inconvenient it is, when I have a job to do'.

Leave it at that but stick to your word.

Andy C

"Andy Cap" wrote in message
o.uk...
On 10/03/2011 09:43 AM, john east wrote:
We have some new neighbours that have moved in next door and they ask to
borrow garden tools (and car tools).

The problem for me is I have to go and ask for them back, and they are
not
always there. I wanted to use my garden rake today and went around to get
it
back, but they are out; so I cannot do the job.

We like these neighbours and want to remain friends. What reason can I
give
to them not to lend my tools to them which will cause the minimal amount
of
friction? I'm looking for an imaginative (yet plausible) excuse to give
them.

'I *really* don't want to fall out with you over this but unless things
are returned immediately, then this is the last time. I hope you can
understand how inconvenient it is, when I have a job to do'.

Leave it at that but stick to your word.


Is the correct answer. Honest and truthful. Each knows where they stand.

JB

On Mon, 03 Oct 2011 09:43:51 +0100, john east wrote:

We have some new neighbours that have moved in next door and they ask to
borrow garden tools (and car tools).

The problem for me is I have to go and ask for them back, and they are
not always there. I wanted to use my garden rake today and went around
to get it back, but they are out; so I cannot do the job.

We like these neighbours and want to remain friends. What reason can I
give to them not to lend my tools to them which will cause the minimal
amount of friction? I'm looking for an imaginative (yet plausible)
excuse to give them.

Wait until late at night, knock at their door and ask for the tool back
as you need to early in the morning?

Chris

--
Remove prejudice to reply.

john east wrote:
We have some new neighbours that have moved in next door and they ask
to borrow garden tools (and car tools).

The problem for me is I have to go and ask for them back, and they
are not always there. I wanted to use my garden rake today and went
around to get it back, but they are out; so I cannot do the job.

We like these neighbours and want to remain friends. What reason can
I give to them not to lend my tools to them which will cause the
minimal amount of friction? I'm looking for an imaginative (yet
plausible) excuse to give them.

I usually just say that I have not got one, or that I have lent it to
someone.