We have some new neighbours that have moved in next door and they ask to
borrow garden tools (and car tools).

The problem for me is I have to go and ask for them back, and they are not
always there. I wanted to use my garden rake today and went around to get it
back, but they are out; so I cannot do the job.

We like these neighbours and want to remain friends. What reason can I give
to them not to lend my tools to them which will cause the minimal amount of
friction? I'm looking for an imaginative (yet plausible) excuse to give
them.

john east wrote:

We have some new neighbours that have moved in next door and they ask
to borrow garden tools (and car tools).

The problem for me is I have to go and ask for them back, and they
are not always there. I wanted to use my garden rake today and went
around to get it back, but they are out; so I cannot do the job.

We like these neighbours and want to remain friends. What reason can
I give to them not to lend my tools to them which will cause the
minimal amount of friction? I'm looking for an imaginative (yet
plausible) excuse to give them.

Just say no, until the previous loan is returned.

Or just say no ...

--
Paul - xxx

say a family member has already requested them

In article ,
john east wrote:
We have some new neighbours that have moved in next door and they ask to
borrow garden tools (and car tools).

The problem for me is I have to go and ask for them back, and they are
not always there. I wanted to use my garden rake today and went around
to get it back, but they are out; so I cannot do the job.

We like these neighbours and want to remain friends. What reason can I
give to them not to lend my tools to them which will cause the minimal
amount of friction? I'm looking for an imaginative (yet plausible)
excuse to give them.

What you're doing is people pleasing or buying friendship. Neither is a
good idea long term. I'll happily lend such stuff but expect it back
immediately after use. If that doesn't happen without a good excuse, it
shows a lack of respect. And I simply won't do so again. Anyone who can't
accept this is best avoided.

--
*I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions. *

Dave Plowman London SW
To e-mail, change noise into sound.

On 10/03/2011 09:43 AM, john east wrote:
We have some new neighbours that have moved in next door and they ask to
borrow garden tools (and car tools).

The problem for me is I have to go and ask for them back, and they are not
always there. I wanted to use my garden rake today and went around to get it
back, but they are out; so I cannot do the job.

We like these neighbours and want to remain friends. What reason can I give
to them not to lend my tools to them which will cause the minimal amount of
friction? I'm looking for an imaginative (yet plausible) excuse to give
them.

'I *really* don't want to fall out with you over this but unless things
are returned immediately, then this is the last time. I hope you can
understand how inconvenient it is, when I have a job to do'.

Leave it at that but stick to your word.

Andy C

On Mon, 03 Oct 2011 09:43:51 +0100, john east wrote:

We have some new neighbours that have moved in next door and they ask to
borrow garden tools (and car tools).

The problem for me is I have to go and ask for them back, and they are
not always there. I wanted to use my garden rake today and went around
to get it back, but they are out; so I cannot do the job.

We like these neighbours and want to remain friends. What reason can I
give to them not to lend my tools to them which will cause the minimal
amount of friction? I'm looking for an imaginative (yet plausible)
excuse to give them.

Wait until late at night, knock at their door and ask for the tool back
as you need to early in the morning?

Chris

--
Remove prejudice to reply.

On Mon, 03 Oct 2011 10:43:25 +0100, Dave Plowman (News) wrote:

I'll happily lend such stuff but expect it back immediately after use.
If that doesn't happen without a good excuse, it shows a lack of
respect. And I simply won't do so again. Anyone who can't accept this is
best avoided.

Aye, I detest lending any tools. There are three scenarios:

Tool is not promptly returned.
Tool is returned but damaged.
Tool is promptly returned.

1 out 3 for a good result from the loan, not odds I like.

These people have alraedy shown that they cannot be trusted to bring
the tool back promptly and this has caused *you* inconvience. They
are taking advantage, don't let 'em.

--
Cheers
Dave.

Why not suggest to your neighbours that they go to the next car-boot sale in your area and get some tools for themselves - usually the basics are available really inexpensively - One can generally pick up spades / forks / hoes / rakes for £2-£3 each. Alternative why not suggest they post a 'wanted' on Freecycle.

If you do lend tools NEVER lend your secateurs !!

john east wrote:
We have some new neighbours that have moved in next door and they ask
to borrow garden tools (and car tools).

The problem for me is I have to go and ask for them back, and they
are not always there. I wanted to use my garden rake today and went
around to get it back, but they are out; so I cannot do the job.

We like these neighbours and want to remain friends. What reason can
I give to them not to lend my tools to them which will cause the
minimal amount of friction? I'm looking for an imaginative (yet
plausible) excuse to give them.

I usually just say that I have not got one, or that I have lent it to
someone.

On 3/10/2011 7:43 PM, john east wrote:
We have some new neighbours that have moved in next door and they ask to
borrow garden tools (and car tools).

The problem for me is I have to go and ask for them back, and they are not
always there. I wanted to use my garden rake today and went around to get it
back, but they are out; so I cannot do the job.

We like these neighbours and want to remain friends. What reason can I give
to them not to lend my tools to them which will cause the minimal amount of
friction? I'm looking for an imaginative (yet plausible) excuse to give
them.



You know the rules after you lend a tool you then want to use it
yourself. Happens all the time.

"Andy Cap" wrote in message
o.uk...
On 10/03/2011 09:43 AM, john east wrote:
We have some new neighbours that have moved in next door and they ask to
borrow garden tools (and car tools).

The problem for me is I have to go and ask for them back, and they are
not
always there. I wanted to use my garden rake today and went around to get
it
back, but they are out; so I cannot do the job.

We like these neighbours and want to remain friends. What reason can I
give
to them not to lend my tools to them which will cause the minimal amount
of
friction? I'm looking for an imaginative (yet plausible) excuse to give
them.

'I *really* don't want to fall out with you over this but unless things
are returned immediately, then this is the last time. I hope you can
understand how inconvenient it is, when I have a job to do'.

Leave it at that but stick to your word.


Is the correct answer. Honest and truthful. Each knows where they stand.

JB

Reasons and excuses are a bad idea. Honesty, expressed in the appropriate manner, is far more effective. Just tell them, quite honestly, precisely how you feel when they hold on to your stuff (eg disappointed in them, irate, whatever is exactly true) and why (because it looks like you don't respect my stuff, or because I don't have it when I need it, whatever is exactly true). Unless they are sociopaths or have other personality disorders, this is a very effective way of getting people on side, which is why it is taught in management schools.

Then in future set a time limit for bringing them back, and enforce it. That way, you will definitely have your tool when you need it.

On Mon, 3 Oct 2011 09:43:51 +0100, "john east"
wrote:

We have some new neighbours that have moved in next door and they ask to
borrow garden tools (and car tools).

The problem for me is I have to go and ask for them back, and they are not
always there. I wanted to use my garden rake today and went around to get it
back, but they are out; so I cannot do the job.

We like these neighbours and want to remain friends. What reason can I give
to them not to lend my tools to them which will cause the minimal amount of
friction? I'm looking for an imaginative (yet plausible) excuse to give
them.

My stock answer is that I won't lend tools because if something breaks
while on loan it can be very difficult to work out whether it broke
because of bad handling or because it was wearing out anyway and I
hadn't noticed. This applies particularly to power tools. Avoids all
sorts of possibilities for embarrassment.

Cheers, Jake
================================================== ==========
URGling from the less wet end of Swansea Bay whilst enjoying
a brief respite from leaf collecting and planning a new
career as a snail-tamer..

www.rivendell.org.uk

"john east" wrote

We have some new neighbours that have moved in next door and they ask to
borrow garden tools (and car tools).

The problem for me is I have to go and ask for them back, and they are not
always there. I wanted to use my garden rake today and went around to get
it back, but they are out; so I cannot do the job.

We like these neighbours and want to remain friends. What reason can I give
to them not to lend my tools to them which will cause the minimal amount of
friction? I'm looking for an imaginative (yet plausible) excuse to give
them.
Like you I always had to go and ask for my tools back when the borrower
should have returned them once they had done the job. They are the ones that
should feel guilty not you, think how much money these people are saving by
not buying tools, they obviously think people like us are total mugs, to be
taken advantage of.

Happened to me many times, you think I would have learnt quicker. Must have
cost me over £500 replacing tools when I eventually got them back
broken/knackered. I simply don't lend stuff any more 'cause I will be using
it for ........ shortly, although I have gone and done small jobs myself for
friends but then they can't keep and use them until they break.
Just explain what has happened in the past and say I'm afraid I don't lend
stuff any more, it's too expensive to replace. If they take offence, at
least they get the message.
--
Regards. Bob Hobden.
Posted to this Newsgroup from the W of London, UK

On Mon, 3 Oct 2011 09:43:51 +0100, "john east"
wrote:

We have some new neighbours that have moved in next door and they ask to
borrow garden tools (and car tools).

The problem for me is I have to go and ask for them back, and they are not
always there. I wanted to use my garden rake today and went around to get it
back, but they are out; so I cannot do the job.

We like these neighbours and want to remain friends. What reason can I give
to them not to lend my tools to them which will cause the minimal amount of
friction? I'm looking for an imaginative (yet plausible) excuse to give
them.

"My friend who is a lawyer says I shouldn't lend tools because I could
be liable if people injure themselves with them"
I don't know whether this is actually true but it worked for me.