How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

OK. So I have read over this board that people find some of the actions of
their neighbours irritating , if not downright anger provoking.

After years of being a doormat. I too am fed up of irritating and selfish
neighbours too.
In fact I am so p***ed off I have decided , that if you cannot beat 'um ,
you should join 'um!

So what can I do to be the most irritating a** hole imaginable ( legal
suggestions only please).

I am serious here.

TIA

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 08:52:34 +0100, "Mich"
wrote:

OK. So I have read over this board that people find some of the actions of
their neighbours irritating , if not downright anger provoking.

After years of being a doormat. I too am fed up of irritating and selfish
neighbours too.
In fact I am so p***ed off I have decided , that if you cannot beat 'um ,
you should join 'um!

So what can I do to be the most irritating a** hole imaginable ( legal
suggestions only please).

I am serious here.

TIA

what has the neighbour done to annoy you?

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

"Paul" wrote in message
...
On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 08:52:34 +0100, "Mich"
wrote:

After years of being a doormat. I too am fed up of irritating and selfish
neighbours too.
In fact I am so p***ed off I have decided , that if you cannot beat 'um
,
you should join 'um!

So what can I do to be the most irritating a** hole imaginable ( legal
suggestions only please).

I am serious here.

TIA

what has the neighbour done to annoy you?

My neighbour is a farmer. Do you want the catalogue?
Main thing is he constantly uses my drive to turn the corner into the lane
with his big blue tractor.
I appreciate he has to use the lane ( as do I) but my drive is not the lane.

so in addition to constantly using my drive as his turning point

a) churning up my drive with heavy machinery and making holes in it

b) churning up my drive by refusing to give me one hour to complete
necessary repair works and allow them to dry.

c) deliberately destroying a 15 year old mature Hebe bush on the corner of
my drive with his big blue tractor and triple low loader and some extra
attachment - all of which he was trying to bring down a lane barely big
enough for it ( I watched him as he reversed and drove forward three times
over it last night!) I couldn't catch him to stop him!

d) spraying his crops with SWW treated human sewerage and creating a big
stink over the whole valley

e) building bonfires about 30ft high with no regard to road users or
neighbours

f) spraying his crops with hormones which contaminated my tomatoes and
caused them to curl and look like they had tobacco virus ( serious round
here since the whole area was devastated by Tobacco virus in the 1970's)
Destroyed my whole crop!

g) generally being arrogant and unpleasant and acting as if he owns the
world when I tried to get a reasonable agreement over the repair of my
drive.

h) continuing to have no regard for property which is not his.

Do you want more?

So how do I be the ultimate a** hole to the finest a**hole Ive met?
And are all farmers such grade 1 a**holes?

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

"Mich" wrote in message
...

"Paul" wrote in message
...
On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 08:52:34 +0100, "Mich"
wrote:

After years of being a doormat. I too am fed up of irritating and
selfish
neighbours too.
In fact I am so p***ed off I have decided , that if you cannot beat
'um
,
you should join 'um!

So what can I do to be the most irritating a** hole imaginable ( legal
suggestions only please).

I am serious here.

TIA

what has the neighbour done to annoy you?

My neighbour is a farmer. Do you want the catalogue?
Main thing is he constantly uses my drive to turn the corner into the lane
with his big blue tractor.
I appreciate he has to use the lane ( as do I) but my drive is not the
lane.

so in addition to constantly using my drive as his turning point

a) churning up my drive with heavy machinery and making holes in it

b) churning up my drive by refusing to give me one hour to complete
necessary repair works and allow them to dry.

c) deliberately destroying a 15 year old mature Hebe bush on the corner
of
my drive with his big blue tractor and triple low loader and some extra
attachment - all of which he was trying to bring down a lane barely big
enough for it ( I watched him as he reversed and drove forward three times
over it last night!) I couldn't catch him to stop him!

d) spraying his crops with SWW treated human sewerage and creating a
big
stink over the whole valley

e) building bonfires about 30ft high with no regard to road users or
neighbours

f) spraying his crops with hormones which contaminated my tomatoes and
caused them to curl and look like they had tobacco virus ( serious round
here since the whole area was devastated by Tobacco virus in the 1970's)
Destroyed my whole crop!

g) generally being arrogant and unpleasant and acting as if he owns the
world when I tried to get a reasonable agreement over the repair of my
drive.

h) continuing to have no regard for property which is not his.

Do you want more?

So how do I be the ultimate a** hole to the finest a**hole Ive met?
And are all farmers such grade 1 a**holes?

And can I just add to this list

Flooding the lane with water when it rains from his fields due to the
nature of his over cultivation of the land and general growing the guts out
of it.

I have been patient and reasonable and bit my lip and said nothing. but my
hebe ( it flowered beautifully) was the last straw.

How do I replace that - and of course anything I put there will be destroyed
by his big blue tractor before it even has chance to get established ... and
of course he will be turning uninhibited on my drive!

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

Mich wrote:
And can I just add to this list

Flooding the lane with water when it rains from his fields due to the
nature of his over cultivation of the land and general growing the
guts out of it.

I have been patient and reasonable and bit my lip and said nothing.
but my hebe ( it flowered beautifully) was the last straw.

How do I replace that - and of course anything I put there will be
destroyed by his big blue tractor before it even has chance to get
established ... and of course he will be turning uninhibited on my
drive!

http://www.courtservice.gov.uk/mcol/

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

I knew a chap years ago who was fed up with lorries/vans cars coming down a
narrow lane and taking out the corner of his hedge, & then wall. His
solution was to obtain a 12' length of railway rail which he sank 8 feet
into the ground (imbedded in a copious quantity of concrete). He then faced
the iron rail with some hardwood so as it give it the appearance of a post.
Any vehicle that subsequently hit the "post" then came off a lot worse.
The point here is that to stop someone knocking over your plants put
something down that will damage their vehicles. If the railway line is not a
suitable solution then some very large boulders should do the trick. Or a
ditch.



--
"Wisest are they that know they do not know." Socrates

"Mich" wrote in message
...
OK. So I have read over this board that people find some of the actions of
their neighbours irritating , if not downright anger provoking.

After years of being a doormat. I too am fed up of irritating and selfish
neighbours too.
In fact I am so p***ed off I have decided , that if you cannot beat 'um ,
you should join 'um!

So what can I do to be the most irritating a** hole imaginable ( legal
suggestions only please).

I am serious here.

TIA

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

In message , Mich
writes
"Paul" wrote in message
.. .

what has the neighbour done to annoy you?

My neighbour is a farmer. Do you want the catalogue?
Main thing is he constantly uses my drive to turn the corner into the lane
with his big blue tractor.

Assuming he has no legal right of way over your drive then why not
install a large concrete post at the corner of your boundary? Or several
if you fear he'll just cut the corner even more.

d) spraying his crops with SWW treated human sewerage and creating a big
stink over the whole valley

We get the aromas of the countryside around here. It's part of life near
farmland. Did you not realise that when you moved there?

--
dave @ stejonda

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 10:08:52 +0100, "Mich"
wrote:


"Paul" wrote in message
.. .
On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 08:52:34 +0100, "Mich"
wrote:

After years of being a doormat. I too am fed up of irritating and selfish
neighbours too.
In fact I am so p***ed off I have decided , that if you cannot beat 'um
,
you should join 'um!

So what can I do to be the most irritating a** hole imaginable ( legal
suggestions only please).

I am serious here.

TIA

what has the neighbour done to annoy you?

My neighbour is a farmer. Do you want the catalogue?
Main thing is he constantly uses my drive to turn the corner into the lane
with his big blue tractor.
I appreciate he has to use the lane ( as do I) but my drive is not the lane.

so in addition to constantly using my drive as his turning point

a) churning up my drive with heavy machinery and making holes in it

b) churning up my drive by refusing to give me one hour to complete
necessary repair works and allow them to dry.

c) deliberately destroying a 15 year old mature Hebe bush on the corner of
my drive with his big blue tractor and triple low loader and some extra
attachment - all of which he was trying to bring down a lane barely big
enough for it ( I watched him as he reversed and drove forward three times
over it last night!) I couldn't catch him to stop him!

d) spraying his crops with SWW treated human sewerage and creating a big
stink over the whole valley

e) building bonfires about 30ft high with no regard to road users or
neighbours

f) spraying his crops with hormones which contaminated my tomatoes and
caused them to curl and look like they had tobacco virus ( serious round
here since the whole area was devastated by Tobacco virus in the 1970's)
Destroyed my whole crop!

g) generally being arrogant and unpleasant and acting as if he owns the
world when I tried to get a reasonable agreement over the repair of my
drive.

h) continuing to have no regard for property which is not his.

Do you want more?

So how do I be the ultimate a** hole to the finest a**hole Ive met?
And are all farmers such grade 1 a**holes?


what about putting some concrete bollards at the boundary of your
property? they're not obtrusive or occupy much space but at least it
defines what exactly is your property. if he knocks them down or plows
into him then get in touch with the police and report him for not
stopping after an accident.

i too live in the country and most farmers are all the same, my old man
was once arguing with one and the farmer turned round and said "i'm not
standing here arguing with you, i'm losing hundreds of pounds as i'm
doing so". says it all really.

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

I knew a chap years ago who was fed up with lorries/vans cars coming down
a
narrow lane and taking out the corner of his hedge, & then wall. His
solution was to obtain a 12' length of railway rail which he sank 8 feet
into the ground (imbedded in a copious quantity of concrete). He then
faced
the iron rail with some hardwood so as it give it the appearance of a
post.
Any vehicle that subsequently hit the "post" then came off a lot worse.
The point here is that to stop someone knocking over your plants put
something down that will damage their vehicles. If the railway line is not
a
suitable solution then some very large boulders should do the trick. Or a
ditch.


Or, plant a metal spike where the Hebe is, hidden amongst the foliage. I
think the tractor tyres would come of worse!

--
Drakanthus.


(Spam filter: Include the word VB anywhere in the subject line or emails
will never reach me.)


---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.501 / Virus Database: 299 - Release Date: 14/07/03

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

In article ,
Drakanthus wrote:
I knew a chap years ago who was fed up with lorries/vans cars coming down
a
narrow lane and taking out the corner of his hedge, & then wall. His
solution was to obtain a 12' length of railway rail which he sank 8 feet
into the ground (imbedded in a copious quantity of concrete). He then
faced
the iron rail with some hardwood so as it give it the appearance of a
post.
Any vehicle that subsequently hit the "post" then came off a lot worse.
The point here is that to stop someone knocking over your plants put
something down that will damage their vehicles. If the railway line is not
a
suitable solution then some very large boulders should do the trick. Or a
ditch.

Or, plant a metal spike where the Hebe is, hidden amongst the foliage. I
think the tractor tyres would come of worse!

You might well then get a bill for the tyre, which will be in four
figures, and might lose in court. The post idea is a better one.


Regards,
Nick Maclaren.

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

"dave @ stejonda" wrote in message
...
In message , Mich
writes
"Paul" wrote in message
.. .


d) spraying his crops with SWW treated human sewerage and creating a
big
stink over the whole valley

We get the aromas of the countryside around here. It's part of life near
farmland. Did you not realise that when you moved there?

I have lived in the country all my life ( except when away at University) .
I know about farm smells. But human s*it is something else.

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

"Nick Maclaren" wrote in message
...
In article ,
Drakanthus wrote:
I knew a chap years ago who was fed up with lorries/vans cars coming
down
a
narrow lane and taking out the corner of his hedge, & then wall. His
solution was to obtain a 12' length of railway rail which he sank 8
feet
into the ground (imbedded in a copious quantity of concrete). He then
faced
the iron rail with some hardwood so as it give it the appearance of a
post.
Any vehicle that subsequently hit the "post" then came off a lot worse.
The point here is that to stop someone knocking over your plants put
something down that will damage their vehicles. If the railway line is
not
a
suitable solution then some very large boulders should do the trick. Or
a
ditch.

Or, plant a metal spike where the Hebe is, hidden amongst the foliage. I
think the tractor tyres would come of worse!

You might well then get a bill for the tyre, which will be in four
figures, and might lose in court. The post idea is a better one.

It just so happens that there are two boulders either side of this plant,
and it had crossed my mind to add a third immovable large one.

I like the idea of the rail line fence post. I was trying to get hold of
some of those road cones to point out to the B*stard where my drive actually
is - although frankly its very plain where it is and make him come round it.

I also have some heavy duty curb stoning but I thought it was rather flat
I am certainly taking on board all ideas.

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

"Drakanthus" wrote in message
...

Or, plant a metal spike where the Hebe is, hidden amongst the foliage. I
think the tractor tyres would come of worse!


I was going to suggest caltrops :-)

Matt

---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.501 / Virus Database: 299 - Release Date: 14/07/03




---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.507 / Virus Database: 304 - Release Date: 06/08/2003

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

"Mich" wrote in message
...

"Nick Maclaren" wrote in message
...
In article ,
Drakanthus wrote:
I knew a chap years ago who was fed up with lorries/vans cars coming
down
a
narrow lane and taking out the corner of his hedge, & then wall. His
solution was to obtain a 12' length of railway rail which he sank 8
feet
into the ground (imbedded in a copious quantity of concrete). He then
faced
the iron rail with some hardwood so as it give it the appearance of a
post.
Any vehicle that subsequently hit the "post" then came off a lot
worse.
The point here is that to stop someone knocking over your plants put
something down that will damage their vehicles. If the railway line
is
not
a
suitable solution then some very large boulders should do the trick.
Or
I should add , for the record he has NO RIGHT OF WAY across my drive.

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

Mich spluttered almost incoherently...:


"Mich" wrote in message
...

"Paul" wrote in message
...
On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 08:52:34 +0100, "Mich"
wrote:

After years of being a doormat. I too am fed up of irritating and
selfish
neighbours too.
In fact I am so p***ed off I have decided , that if you cannot beat
'um
,
you should join 'um!

So what can I do to be the most irritating a** hole imaginable ( legal
suggestions only please).

I am serious here.

TIA

what has the neighbour done to annoy you?

My neighbour is a farmer. Do you want the catalogue?
Main thing is he constantly uses my drive to turn the corner into the lane
with his big blue tractor.
I appreciate he has to use the lane ( as do I) but my drive is not the
lane.

so in addition to constantly using my drive as his turning point

a) churning up my drive with heavy machinery and making holes in it

b) churning up my drive by refusing to give me one hour to complete
necessary repair works and allow them to dry.

c) deliberately destroying a 15 year old mature Hebe bush on the corner
of
my drive with his big blue tractor and triple low loader and some extra
attachment - all of which he was trying to bring down a lane barely big
enough for it ( I watched him as he reversed and drove forward three times
over it last night!) I couldn't catch him to stop him!

d) spraying his crops with SWW treated human sewerage and creating a
big
stink over the whole valley

e) building bonfires about 30ft high with no regard to road users or
neighbours

f) spraying his crops with hormones which contaminated my tomatoes and
caused them to curl and look like they had tobacco virus ( serious round
here since the whole area was devastated by Tobacco virus in the 1970's)
Destroyed my whole crop!

g) generally being arrogant and unpleasant and acting as if he owns the
world when I tried to get a reasonable agreement over the repair of my
drive.

h) continuing to have no regard for property which is not his.

Do you want more?

So how do I be the ultimate a** hole to the finest a**hole Ive met?
And are all farmers such grade 1 a**holes?

And can I just add to this list

Flooding the lane with water when it rains from his fields due to the
nature of his over cultivation of the land and general growing the guts out
of it.

I have been patient and reasonable and bit my lip and said nothing. but my
hebe ( it flowered beautifully) was the last straw.

How do I replace that - and of course anything I put there will be destroyed
by his big blue tractor before it even has chance to get established ... and
of course he will be turning uninhibited on my drive!

Why not dig a hole at the limit of your land, on the corner of the drive in
question, and stick a great big concrete bollard in. Then plant a nice
climber or shrub to cover it from your side.

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

"Mich" wrote in message ...
[...]
And are all farmers such grade 1 a**holes?
[...]

No, they aren't; but that's small comfort to you, I know. And
sometimes their hammering of the soils is from desperation, not greed:
things aren't good down on the farm just now.

I'd go with the piece of railway; but you'll have to do it at a time
of year when he doesn't come past, or he'll 'accidentally' bump into
it before the concrete's set. I'm fascinated to know how you'll dig a
hole eight feet deep, though: pretty hard to do anywhere, but
especially beside the road; so make sure you don't put yourself in the
wrong, or hit any incoming mains.

Mike.

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

"Mich" wrote in message news:bh7hk1$u79d9$1@ID-

So what can I do to be the most irritating a** hole imaginable ( legal
suggestions only please).


Just be yourself. You sound like an irritating a***hole, whining about some
poor ******* trying to earn a living.

regards


Chu

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

"Chu Mai Fat" wrote in message
...

"Mich" wrote in message news:bh7hk1$u79d9$1@ID-

So what can I do to be the most irritating a** hole imaginable ( legal
suggestions only please).


Just be yourself. You sound like an irritating a***hole, whining about
some
poor ******* trying to earn a living.

Oh thanks! I'll continue to do that then and I hope it achieves the desired
results.
Your the b*stard with the blue tractor I take it?
It certainly takes an a**hole to know one!

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

"Nick Maclaren" wrote in message
...
In article ,
Drakanthus wrote:
You might well then get a bill for the tyre, which will be in four
figures, and might lose in court. The post idea is a better one.

I am aware of the problems of doing anything that might be illegal .
Although last night I have to admit I nearly got the Police out for crimnal
damage, but I decided that looked petty - I would rather act petty! g

Its interesting that I havent seen him or his tractor today . He is usually
up and down the lane from first light to last light . Last night he finished
at 9.00pm ( when he took my hebe bush down).

Unusually today his fields are dead silent.

He is not actually my *neighbour * , as in not living nearby. His fields are
all around mine but he lives about three miles away.

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 11:43:00 GMT, billy_bunter wrote:

Mich spluttered almost incoherently...:


"Mich" wrote in message
...

"Paul" wrote in message
...
On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 08:52:34 +0100, "Mich"
wrote:

After years of being a doormat. I too am fed up of irritating and
selfish
neighbours too.
In fact I am so p***ed off I have decided , that if you cannot beat
'um
,
you should join 'um!

So what can I do to be the most irritating a** hole imaginable ( legal
suggestions only please).

I am serious here.

TIA

what has the neighbour done to annoy you?

My neighbour is a farmer. Do you want the catalogue?
Main thing is he constantly uses my drive to turn the corner into the lane
with his big blue tractor.
I appreciate he has to use the lane ( as do I) but my drive is not the
lane.

so in addition to constantly using my drive as his turning point

a) churning up my drive with heavy machinery and making holes in it

b) churning up my drive by refusing to give me one hour to complete
necessary repair works and allow them to dry.

c) deliberately destroying a 15 year old mature Hebe bush on the corner
of
my drive with his big blue tractor and triple low loader and some extra
attachment - all of which he was trying to bring down a lane barely big
enough for it ( I watched him as he reversed and drove forward three times
over it last night!) I couldn't catch him to stop him!

d) spraying his crops with SWW treated human sewerage and creating a
big
stink over the whole valley

e) building bonfires about 30ft high with no regard to road users or
neighbours

f) spraying his crops with hormones which contaminated my tomatoes and
caused them to curl and look like they had tobacco virus ( serious round
here since the whole area was devastated by Tobacco virus in the 1970's)
Destroyed my whole crop!

g) generally being arrogant and unpleasant and acting as if he owns the
world when I tried to get a reasonable agreement over the repair of my
drive.

h) continuing to have no regard for property which is not his.

Do you want more?

So how do I be the ultimate a** hole to the finest a**hole Ive met?
And are all farmers such grade 1 a**holes?

And can I just add to this list

Flooding the lane with water when it rains from his fields due to the
nature of his over cultivation of the land and general growing the guts out
of it.

I have been patient and reasonable and bit my lip and said nothing. but my
hebe ( it flowered beautifully) was the last straw.

How do I replace that - and of course anything I put there will be destroyed
by his big blue tractor before it even has chance to get established ... and
of course he will be turning uninhibited on my drive!

Why not dig a hole at the limit of your land, on the corner of the drive in
question, and stick a great big concrete bollard in. Then plant a nice
climber or shrub to cover it from your side.

or dig a very deep hole fill, the bottom with sharpened stakes, and
cover it with thin branches
--
Martin

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

"Mich" wrote:
snip
So what can I do to be the most irritating a** hole imaginable ( legal
suggestions only please). I am serious here.
---
For starters, buy an old petrol driven lawnmower and cut your grass at least
three times a week. Don't like gardening and grow thistles. Keep dogs, the
b*****s that like barking at nothing in particular right through the day.
Attract squirrels, the more the merrier. Develop a liking for loud, heavy
rock music. Have lots of barbeques and invite all your friends with their
children. Oh, and don't forget to grow a leylandii hedge on the east side of
your garden, if you have a side facing east. Will that do to be going on
with?

Aphodius

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

suitable solution then some very large boulders should do the
trick.
Or
I should add , for the record he has NO RIGHT OF WAY across my drive.



A gate across your drive should do the trick ;-)

Natalie

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 18:49:00 +0100, "Aphodius"
wrote:


"Mich" wrote:
snip
So what can I do to be the most irritating a** hole imaginable ( legal
suggestions only please). I am serious here.
---
For starters, buy an old petrol driven lawnmower and cut your grass at least
three times a week. Don't like gardening and grow thistles. Keep dogs, the
b*****s that like barking at nothing in particular right through the day.
Attract squirrels, the more the merrier. Develop a liking for loud, heavy
rock music. Have lots of barbeques and invite all your friends with their
children. Oh, and don't forget to grow a leylandii hedge on the east side of
your garden, if you have a side facing east. Will that do to be going on
with?

don't forget the flock of geese, and the cockerel that starts up at
dawn.
--
Martin

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

In article ,
martin wrote:
On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 18:49:00 +0100, "Aphodius"
wrote:
"Mich" wrote:
snip
So what can I do to be the most irritating a** hole imaginable ( legal
suggestions only please). I am serious here.
---
For starters, buy an old petrol driven lawnmower and cut your grass at least
three times a week. Don't like gardening and grow thistles. Keep dogs, the
b*****s that like barking at nothing in particular right through the day.
Attract squirrels, the more the merrier. Develop a liking for loud, heavy
rock music. Have lots of barbeques and invite all your friends with their
children. Oh, and don't forget to grow a leylandii hedge on the east side of
your garden, if you have a side facing east. Will that do to be going on
with?

don't forget the flock of geese, and the cockerel that starts up at
dawn.

Oh, come off it! Peafowl, please! And perhaps a donkey ....


Regards,
Nick Maclaren.

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

On 11 Aug 2003 20:12:52 GMT, (Nick Maclaren) wrote:

In article ,
martin wrote:
On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 18:49:00 +0100, "Aphodius"
wrote:
"Mich" wrote:
snip
So what can I do to be the most irritating a** hole imaginable ( legal
suggestions only please). I am serious here.
---
For starters, buy an old petrol driven lawnmower and cut your grass at least
three times a week. Don't like gardening and grow thistles. Keep dogs, the
b*****s that like barking at nothing in particular right through the day.
Attract squirrels, the more the merrier. Develop a liking for loud, heavy
rock music. Have lots of barbeques and invite all your friends with their
children. Oh, and don't forget to grow a leylandii hedge on the east side of
your garden, if you have a side facing east. Will that do to be going on
with?

don't forget the flock of geese, and the cockerel that starts up at
dawn.

Oh, come off it! Peafowl, please! And perhaps a donkey ....

and coughing smokers
--
Martin

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

In article ,
martin wrote:
On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 18:49:00 +0100, "Aphodius"
wrote:
"Mich" wrote:
snip
So what can I do to be the most irritating a** hole imaginable ( legal
suggestions only please). I am serious here.
---
For starters, buy an old petrol driven lawnmower and cut your grass at least
three times a week. Don't like gardening and grow thistles. Keep dogs, the
b*****s that like barking at nothing in particular right through the day.
Attract squirrels, the more the merrier. Develop a liking for loud, heavy
rock music. Have lots of barbeques and invite all your friends with their
children. Oh, and don't forget to grow a leylandii hedge on the east side of
your garden, if you have a side facing east. Will that do to be going on
with?

don't forget the flock of geese, and the cockerel that starts up at
dawn.

Oh, come off it! Peafowl, please! And perhaps a donkey ....


Regards,
Nick Maclaren.

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

On 11 Aug 2003 20:12:52 GMT, (Nick Maclaren) wrote:

In article ,
martin wrote:
On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 18:49:00 +0100, "Aphodius"
wrote:
"Mich" wrote:
snip
So what can I do to be the most irritating a** hole imaginable ( legal
suggestions only please). I am serious here.
---
For starters, buy an old petrol driven lawnmower and cut your grass at least
three times a week. Don't like gardening and grow thistles. Keep dogs, the
b*****s that like barking at nothing in particular right through the day.
Attract squirrels, the more the merrier. Develop a liking for loud, heavy
rock music. Have lots of barbeques and invite all your friends with their
children. Oh, and don't forget to grow a leylandii hedge on the east side of
your garden, if you have a side facing east. Will that do to be going on
with?

don't forget the flock of geese, and the cockerel that starts up at
dawn.

Oh, come off it! Peafowl, please! And perhaps a donkey ....

and coughing smokers
--
Martin

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

Oh, come off it! Peafowl, please! And perhaps a donkey ....

.... a few hives of bees to replace the hebe ...

Mary

Regards,
Nick Maclaren.

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

The message
from (Nick Maclaren) contains these words:

Or, plant a metal spike where the Hebe is, hidden amongst the foliage. I
think the tractor tyres would come of worse!

You might well then get a bill for the tyre, which will be in four
figures, and might lose in court. The post idea is a better one.

sniff! I was going to say that!

--
Rusty http://www.users.zetnet.co.uk/hi-fi/tqt.htm
horrid·squeak snailything zetnet·co·uk excange d.p. with p to reply.

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

Xref: kermit uk.rec.gardening:158903

The message
from martin contains these words:

Why not dig a hole at the limit of your land, on the corner of the drive in
question, and stick a great big concrete bollard in. Then plant a nice
climber or shrub to cover it from your side.

or dig a very deep hole fill, the bottom with sharpened stakes, and
cover it with thin branches

Nah, you might catch a heffalump, especially if anyone nearby has a
rhubarb tree.

--
Rusty http://www.users.zetnet.co.uk/hi-fi/tqt.htm
horrid·squeak snailything zetnet·co·uk excange d.p. with p to reply.

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 20:12:33 +0100, Rusty Hinge
wrote:

The message
from (Nick Maclaren) contains these words:

Or, plant a metal spike where the Hebe is, hidden amongst the foliage. I
think the tractor tyres would come of worse!

You might well then get a bill for the tyre, which will be in four
figures, and might lose in court. The post idea is a better one.

sniff! I was going to say that!

how could he bill somebody for running over a spike in some one elses
garden?
--
Martin

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

The message
from "Mich" contains these words:


It just so happens that there are two boulders either side of this plant,
and it had crossed my mind to add a third immovable large one.

It won't be immovable to anyone with a large tractor; he'll just push
it out of his way and then you could find you're the one who can't get
past an immovable rock.

Don't be fool enough to start a war of attrition against a farmer
neighbour, because he holds all the best weapons and won't lose. I'm
surprised that you could have lived in the country so long and not
realise that.

Are you sure it's reasonable to decorate your boundary to a narrow
lane/corner leading to farmland? Isn't it inevitable that large and
unwieldy farm machines will have to get past somehow?

Janet.

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

The message
from (Nick Maclaren) contains these words:

don't forget the flock of geese, and the cockerel that starts up at
dawn.

Oh, come off it! Peafowl, please! And perhaps a donkey ....

And some guinea fowl....

--
Rusty http://www.users.zetnet.co.uk/hi-fi/tqt.htm
horrid·squeak snailything zetnet·co·uk excange d.p. with p to reply.

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

The message
from "Mary Fisher" contains these words:

Oh, come off it! Peafowl, please! And perhaps a donkey ....

... a few hives of bees to replace the hebe ...

Cloff please!

--
Rusty http://www.users.zetnet.co.uk/hi-fi/tqt.htm
horrid·squeak snailything zetnet·co·uk excange d.p. with p to reply.

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

how could he bill somebody for running over a spike in some one elses
garden?

A householder - or anyone else - has a duty of care to a tresspasser ...

Mary
--
Martin

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

"Rusty Hinge" wrote in message
...
The message
from "Mary Fisher" contains these words:

Oh, come off it! Peafowl, please! And perhaps a donkey ....

... a few hives of bees to replace the hebe ...

Cloff please!

Cloff?

Mary

--
Rusty http://www.users.zetnet.co.uk/hi-fi/tqt.htm
horrid·squeak snailything zetnet·co·uk excange d.p. with p to
reply.

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

The message
from martin contains these words:
On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 20:12:33 +0100, Rusty Hinge
wrote:
The message
from (Nick Maclaren) contains these words:

Or, plant a metal spike where the Hebe is, hidden amongst the foliage. I
think the tractor tyres would come of worse!

You might well then get a bill for the tyre, which will be in four
figures, and might lose in court. The post idea is a better one.

sniff! I was going to say that!

how could he bill somebody for running over a spike in some one elses
garden?

On the same principle as a burglar suing you for damages if he hurts
himself while burgling your property.

--
Rusty http://www.users.zetnet.co.uk/hi-fi/tqt.htm
horrid·squeak snailything zetnet·co·uk excange d.p. with p to reply.

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

In article ,
martin wrote:
On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 20:12:33 +0100, Rusty Hinge
wrote:

The message
from (Nick Maclaren) contains these words:

Or, plant a metal spike where the Hebe is, hidden amongst the foliage. I
think the tractor tyres would come of worse!

You might well then get a bill for the tyre, which will be in four
figures, and might lose in court. The post idea is a better one.

sniff! I was going to say that!

how could he bill somebody for running over a spike in some one elses
garden?

In the same way that you can sue for having your leg broken by a
mantrap.


Regards,
Nick Maclaren.

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

Janet Baraclough wrote:
The message
from "Mich" contains these words:


It just so happens that there are two boulders either side of this
plant, and it had crossed my mind to add a third immovable large
one.

snip
Are you sure it's reasonable to decorate your boundary to a
narrow
lane/corner leading to farmland? Isn't it inevitable that large and
unwieldy farm machines will have to get past somehow?

Janet.

My sentiments entirely.
I live on a narrow lane leading to a farm. I accept that modern
farming practices require large equipment and trim my overhanging
branches accordingly.
Grass verges can encroach onto the roadway at a surprising rate and
one cannot complain when the tractor or the combine chop them up -
they are only reclaiming what was rightfully their's in the first
place. I, too, have an entrance on the corner, which regularly gets
attention from long articulated vehicles, and is used as a passing
place by all manner of impatient motorists who quite happily assume my
neatly mown verge is just an extension of the highway.
I don't like it. But rather than erect anti-tank barriers, I accept
it.
That said, I do concede that some neighbours can be a tad less than
perfect.
Maybe Mich and his farmer deserve each other. ;-)

--
ned

How to be an irritating neighbour.
 

"Mich" wrote in message
...

"Chu Mai Fat" wrote in message
...

"Mich" wrote in message news:bh7hk1$u79d9$1@ID-

So what can I do to be the most irritating a** hole imaginable ( legal
suggestions only please).


Just be yourself. You sound like an irritating a***hole, whining about
some
poor ******* trying to earn a living.

Oh thanks! I'll continue to do that then and I hope it achieves the
desired
results.

Believe me, it's working.

It certainly takes an a**hole to know one!

Very witty, Mich. One of Oscar's?

Your the b*stard with the blue tractor I take it?

No, what makes you think that? Because I have sympathy for some poor sod who
has the misfortune to live within three miles of you? Have a listen to
yourself.

Flooding the lane with water when it rains from his fields due to the
nature of his over cultivation of the land and general growing the guts
out
of it.

What exactly is the nature of his "over cultivation of the land and general
growing the guts out of it", and when did you become an expert? Christ, you
can't even work out the best spot for a hebe bush. Or are you just obsessing
now and blaming him for the weather?

I know about farm smells. But human s*it is something else.

Hmmm, his "over cultivation of the land and general growing the guts out of
it" obviously doesn't extend to lack of fertilisation. And here's a
news-flash for you, Mich, even your shit stinks.

Its interesting that I havent seen him or his tractor today.

Interesting? That's bloody fascinating! Did you spend the whole day peeping
through your curtains waiting for him or did you actually do something
productive?

He is usually up and down the lane from first light to last light . Last
night he finished
at 9.00pm ( when he took my hebe bush down).

Well, their you have the whole situation in two sentences. He's working 14
hour days trying to earn a living and you're crying in news groups all day
when you're not peeping through your curtains looking for something to
whinge about. You need to work on the irritating bit Mich, but you're
already an expert a***hole.

Regards

Chu