OK. So I have read over this board that people find some of the actions of
their neighbours irritating , if not downright anger provoking.

After years of being a doormat. I too am fed up of irritating and selfish
neighbours too.
In fact I am so p***ed off I have decided , that if you cannot beat 'um ,
you should join 'um!

So what can I do to be the most irritating a** hole imaginable ( legal
suggestions only please).

I am serious here.

TIA

On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 08:52:34 +0100, "Mich"
wrote:

OK. So I have read over this board that people find some of the actions of
their neighbours irritating , if not downright anger provoking.

After years of being a doormat. I too am fed up of irritating and selfish
neighbours too.
In fact I am so p***ed off I have decided , that if you cannot beat 'um ,
you should join 'um!

So what can I do to be the most irritating a** hole imaginable ( legal
suggestions only please).

I am serious here.

TIA

what has the neighbour done to annoy you?

"Paul" wrote in message
...
On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 08:52:34 +0100, "Mich"
wrote:

After years of being a doormat. I too am fed up of irritating and selfish
neighbours too.
In fact I am so p***ed off I have decided , that if you cannot beat 'um
,
you should join 'um!

So what can I do to be the most irritating a** hole imaginable ( legal
suggestions only please).

I am serious here.

TIA

what has the neighbour done to annoy you?

My neighbour is a farmer. Do you want the catalogue?
Main thing is he constantly uses my drive to turn the corner into the lane
with his big blue tractor.
I appreciate he has to use the lane ( as do I) but my drive is not the lane.

so in addition to constantly using my drive as his turning point

a) churning up my drive with heavy machinery and making holes in it

b) churning up my drive by refusing to give me one hour to complete
necessary repair works and allow them to dry.

c) deliberately destroying a 15 year old mature Hebe bush on the corner of
my drive with his big blue tractor and triple low loader and some extra
attachment - all of which he was trying to bring down a lane barely big
enough for it ( I watched him as he reversed and drove forward three times
over it last night!) I couldn't catch him to stop him!

d) spraying his crops with SWW treated human sewerage and creating a big
stink over the whole valley

e) building bonfires about 30ft high with no regard to road users or
neighbours

f) spraying his crops with hormones which contaminated my tomatoes and
caused them to curl and look like they had tobacco virus ( serious round
here since the whole area was devastated by Tobacco virus in the 1970's)
Destroyed my whole crop!

g) generally being arrogant and unpleasant and acting as if he owns the
world when I tried to get a reasonable agreement over the repair of my
drive.

h) continuing to have no regard for property which is not his.

Do you want more?

So how do I be the ultimate a** hole to the finest a**hole Ive met?
And are all farmers such grade 1 a**holes?

"Mich" wrote in message
...

"Paul" wrote in message
...
On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 08:52:34 +0100, "Mich"
wrote:

After years of being a doormat. I too am fed up of irritating and
selfish
neighbours too.
In fact I am so p***ed off I have decided , that if you cannot beat
'um
,
you should join 'um!

So what can I do to be the most irritating a** hole imaginable ( legal
suggestions only please).

I am serious here.

TIA

what has the neighbour done to annoy you?

My neighbour is a farmer. Do you want the catalogue?
Main thing is he constantly uses my drive to turn the corner into the lane
with his big blue tractor.
I appreciate he has to use the lane ( as do I) but my drive is not the
lane.

so in addition to constantly using my drive as his turning point

a) churning up my drive with heavy machinery and making holes in it

b) churning up my drive by refusing to give me one hour to complete
necessary repair works and allow them to dry.

c) deliberately destroying a 15 year old mature Hebe bush on the corner
of
my drive with his big blue tractor and triple low loader and some extra
attachment - all of which he was trying to bring down a lane barely big
enough for it ( I watched him as he reversed and drove forward three times
over it last night!) I couldn't catch him to stop him!

d) spraying his crops with SWW treated human sewerage and creating a
big
stink over the whole valley

e) building bonfires about 30ft high with no regard to road users or
neighbours

f) spraying his crops with hormones which contaminated my tomatoes and
caused them to curl and look like they had tobacco virus ( serious round
here since the whole area was devastated by Tobacco virus in the 1970's)
Destroyed my whole crop!

g) generally being arrogant and unpleasant and acting as if he owns the
world when I tried to get a reasonable agreement over the repair of my
drive.

h) continuing to have no regard for property which is not his.

Do you want more?

So how do I be the ultimate a** hole to the finest a**hole Ive met?
And are all farmers such grade 1 a**holes?

And can I just add to this list

Flooding the lane with water when it rains from his fields due to the
nature of his over cultivation of the land and general growing the guts out
of it.

I have been patient and reasonable and bit my lip and said nothing. but my
hebe ( it flowered beautifully) was the last straw.

How do I replace that - and of course anything I put there will be destroyed
by his big blue tractor before it even has chance to get established ... and
of course he will be turning uninhibited on my drive!

Mich wrote:
And can I just add to this list

Flooding the lane with water when it rains from his fields due to the
nature of his over cultivation of the land and general growing the
guts out of it.

I have been patient and reasonable and bit my lip and said nothing.
but my hebe ( it flowered beautifully) was the last straw.

How do I replace that - and of course anything I put there will be
destroyed by his big blue tractor before it even has chance to get
established ... and of course he will be turning uninhibited on my
drive!

http://www.courtservice.gov.uk/mcol/

I knew a chap years ago who was fed up with lorries/vans cars coming down a
narrow lane and taking out the corner of his hedge, & then wall. His
solution was to obtain a 12' length of railway rail which he sank 8 feet
into the ground (imbedded in a copious quantity of concrete). He then faced
the iron rail with some hardwood so as it give it the appearance of a post.
Any vehicle that subsequently hit the "post" then came off a lot worse.
The point here is that to stop someone knocking over your plants put
something down that will damage their vehicles. If the railway line is not a
suitable solution then some very large boulders should do the trick. Or a
ditch.



--
"Wisest are they that know they do not know." Socrates

"Mich" wrote in message
...
OK. So I have read over this board that people find some of the actions of
their neighbours irritating , if not downright anger provoking.

After years of being a doormat. I too am fed up of irritating and selfish
neighbours too.
In fact I am so p***ed off I have decided , that if you cannot beat 'um ,
you should join 'um!

So what can I do to be the most irritating a** hole imaginable ( legal
suggestions only please).

I am serious here.

TIA

In message , Mich
writes
"Paul" wrote in message
.. .

what has the neighbour done to annoy you?

My neighbour is a farmer. Do you want the catalogue?
Main thing is he constantly uses my drive to turn the corner into the lane
with his big blue tractor.

Assuming he has no legal right of way over your drive then why not
install a large concrete post at the corner of your boundary? Or several
if you fear he'll just cut the corner even more.

d) spraying his crops with SWW treated human sewerage and creating a big
stink over the whole valley

We get the aromas of the countryside around here. It's part of life near
farmland. Did you not realise that when you moved there?

--
dave @ stejonda

On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 10:08:52 +0100, "Mich"
wrote:


"Paul" wrote in message
.. .
On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 08:52:34 +0100, "Mich"
wrote:

After years of being a doormat. I too am fed up of irritating and selfish
neighbours too.
In fact I am so p***ed off I have decided , that if you cannot beat 'um
,
you should join 'um!

So what can I do to be the most irritating a** hole imaginable ( legal
suggestions only please).

I am serious here.

TIA

what has the neighbour done to annoy you?

My neighbour is a farmer. Do you want the catalogue?
Main thing is he constantly uses my drive to turn the corner into the lane
with his big blue tractor.
I appreciate he has to use the lane ( as do I) but my drive is not the lane.

so in addition to constantly using my drive as his turning point

a) churning up my drive with heavy machinery and making holes in it

b) churning up my drive by refusing to give me one hour to complete
necessary repair works and allow them to dry.

c) deliberately destroying a 15 year old mature Hebe bush on the corner of
my drive with his big blue tractor and triple low loader and some extra
attachment - all of which he was trying to bring down a lane barely big
enough for it ( I watched him as he reversed and drove forward three times
over it last night!) I couldn't catch him to stop him!

d) spraying his crops with SWW treated human sewerage and creating a big
stink over the whole valley

e) building bonfires about 30ft high with no regard to road users or
neighbours

f) spraying his crops with hormones which contaminated my tomatoes and
caused them to curl and look like they had tobacco virus ( serious round
here since the whole area was devastated by Tobacco virus in the 1970's)
Destroyed my whole crop!

g) generally being arrogant and unpleasant and acting as if he owns the
world when I tried to get a reasonable agreement over the repair of my
drive.

h) continuing to have no regard for property which is not his.

Do you want more?

So how do I be the ultimate a** hole to the finest a**hole Ive met?
And are all farmers such grade 1 a**holes?


what about putting some concrete bollards at the boundary of your
property? they're not obtrusive or occupy much space but at least it
defines what exactly is your property. if he knocks them down or plows
into him then get in touch with the police and report him for not
stopping after an accident.

i too live in the country and most farmers are all the same, my old man
was once arguing with one and the farmer turned round and said "i'm not
standing here arguing with you, i'm losing hundreds of pounds as i'm
doing so". says it all really.

I knew a chap years ago who was fed up with lorries/vans cars coming down
a
narrow lane and taking out the corner of his hedge, & then wall. His
solution was to obtain a 12' length of railway rail which he sank 8 feet
into the ground (imbedded in a copious quantity of concrete). He then
faced
the iron rail with some hardwood so as it give it the appearance of a
post.
Any vehicle that subsequently hit the "post" then came off a lot worse.
The point here is that to stop someone knocking over your plants put
something down that will damage their vehicles. If the railway line is not
a
suitable solution then some very large boulders should do the trick. Or a
ditch.


Or, plant a metal spike where the Hebe is, hidden amongst the foliage. I
think the tractor tyres would come of worse!

--
Drakanthus.


(Spam filter: Include the word VB anywhere in the subject line or emails
will never reach me.)


---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.501 / Virus Database: 299 - Release Date: 14/07/03

In article ,
Drakanthus wrote:
I knew a chap years ago who was fed up with lorries/vans cars coming down
a
narrow lane and taking out the corner of his hedge, & then wall. His
solution was to obtain a 12' length of railway rail which he sank 8 feet
into the ground (imbedded in a copious quantity of concrete). He then
faced
the iron rail with some hardwood so as it give it the appearance of a
post.
Any vehicle that subsequently hit the "post" then came off a lot worse.
The point here is that to stop someone knocking over your plants put
something down that will damage their vehicles. If the railway line is not
a
suitable solution then some very large boulders should do the trick. Or a
ditch.

Or, plant a metal spike where the Hebe is, hidden amongst the foliage. I
think the tractor tyres would come of worse!

You might well then get a bill for the tyre, which will be in four
figures, and might lose in court. The post idea is a better one.


Regards,
Nick Maclaren.

"dave @ stejonda" wrote in message
...
In message , Mich
writes
"Paul" wrote in message
.. .


d) spraying his crops with SWW treated human sewerage and creating a
big
stink over the whole valley

We get the aromas of the countryside around here. It's part of life near
farmland. Did you not realise that when you moved there?

I have lived in the country all my life ( except when away at University) .
I know about farm smells. But human s*it is something else.

"Nick Maclaren" wrote in message
...
In article ,
Drakanthus wrote:
I knew a chap years ago who was fed up with lorries/vans cars coming
down
a
narrow lane and taking out the corner of his hedge, & then wall. His
solution was to obtain a 12' length of railway rail which he sank 8
feet
into the ground (imbedded in a copious quantity of concrete). He then
faced
the iron rail with some hardwood so as it give it the appearance of a
post.
Any vehicle that subsequently hit the "post" then came off a lot worse.
The point here is that to stop someone knocking over your plants put
something down that will damage their vehicles. If the railway line is
not
a
suitable solution then some very large boulders should do the trick. Or
a
ditch.

Or, plant a metal spike where the Hebe is, hidden amongst the foliage. I
think the tractor tyres would come of worse!

You might well then get a bill for the tyre, which will be in four
figures, and might lose in court. The post idea is a better one.

It just so happens that there are two boulders either side of this plant,
and it had crossed my mind to add a third immovable large one.

I like the idea of the rail line fence post. I was trying to get hold of
some of those road cones to point out to the B*stard where my drive actually
is - although frankly its very plain where it is and make him come round it.

I also have some heavy duty curb stoning but I thought it was rather flat
I am certainly taking on board all ideas.

"Drakanthus" wrote in message
...

Or, plant a metal spike where the Hebe is, hidden amongst the foliage. I
think the tractor tyres would come of worse!


I was going to suggest caltrops :-)

Matt

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Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
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"Mich" wrote in message
...

"Nick Maclaren" wrote in message
...
In article ,
Drakanthus wrote:
I knew a chap years ago who was fed up with lorries/vans cars coming
down
a
narrow lane and taking out the corner of his hedge, & then wall. His
solution was to obtain a 12' length of railway rail which he sank 8
feet
into the ground (imbedded in a copious quantity of concrete). He then
faced
the iron rail with some hardwood so as it give it the appearance of a
post.
Any vehicle that subsequently hit the "post" then came off a lot
worse.
The point here is that to stop someone knocking over your plants put
something down that will damage their vehicles. If the railway line
is
not
a
suitable solution then some very large boulders should do the trick.
Or
I should add , for the record he has NO RIGHT OF WAY across my drive.

Mich spluttered almost incoherently...:


"Mich" wrote in message
...

"Paul" wrote in message
...
On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 08:52:34 +0100, "Mich"
wrote:

After years of being a doormat. I too am fed up of irritating and
selfish
neighbours too.
In fact I am so p***ed off I have decided , that if you cannot beat
'um
,
you should join 'um!

So what can I do to be the most irritating a** hole imaginable ( legal
suggestions only please).

I am serious here.

TIA

what has the neighbour done to annoy you?

My neighbour is a farmer. Do you want the catalogue?
Main thing is he constantly uses my drive to turn the corner into the lane
with his big blue tractor.
I appreciate he has to use the lane ( as do I) but my drive is not the
lane.

so in addition to constantly using my drive as his turning point

a) churning up my drive with heavy machinery and making holes in it

b) churning up my drive by refusing to give me one hour to complete
necessary repair works and allow them to dry.

c) deliberately destroying a 15 year old mature Hebe bush on the corner
of
my drive with his big blue tractor and triple low loader and some extra
attachment - all of which he was trying to bring down a lane barely big
enough for it ( I watched him as he reversed and drove forward three times
over it last night!) I couldn't catch him to stop him!

d) spraying his crops with SWW treated human sewerage and creating a
big
stink over the whole valley

e) building bonfires about 30ft high with no regard to road users or
neighbours

f) spraying his crops with hormones which contaminated my tomatoes and
caused them to curl and look like they had tobacco virus ( serious round
here since the whole area was devastated by Tobacco virus in the 1970's)
Destroyed my whole crop!

g) generally being arrogant and unpleasant and acting as if he owns the
world when I tried to get a reasonable agreement over the repair of my
drive.

h) continuing to have no regard for property which is not his.

Do you want more?

So how do I be the ultimate a** hole to the finest a**hole Ive met?
And are all farmers such grade 1 a**holes?

And can I just add to this list

Flooding the lane with water when it rains from his fields due to the
nature of his over cultivation of the land and general growing the guts out
of it.

I have been patient and reasonable and bit my lip and said nothing. but my
hebe ( it flowered beautifully) was the last straw.

How do I replace that - and of course anything I put there will be destroyed
by his big blue tractor before it even has chance to get established ... and
of course he will be turning uninhibited on my drive!

Why not dig a hole at the limit of your land, on the corner of the drive in
question, and stick a great big concrete bollard in. Then plant a nice
climber or shrub to cover it from your side.