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Hey PETA, Screw Wildlife
On Jul 9, 9:34*am, (Way Back Jack) wrote:
RACCOONS: dig up the old lady's annual flower garden, shit all over the decks, and tear up the cushions on deck furniture. *Why? *On three sides of this property, there are woods, farmland, ponds, and streams .... a wildlife paradise; yet they sometimes get on the roof and try to access the house. *Why? *Yes, I'll anti-freeze them and don't care who likes it. WOODCHUCKS: are even worse digging burrows near the east side property line, but at least they have an excuse with the row of mulberry trees that defines that property line. *Still, it's a bitch dodging the burrows on the tractor. *I set a record this year by killing seven of them, two of whom while they were mating on -- believe it or not -- Valentine's Day. *Heh. WHITETAIL: deer can be dangerous, especially in autumn. *One decided to live under a deck. *He had an injured leg. *He had absolutely no fear and would approach the old lady while she played in the perennial flower garden. *Shotgun blasts did not scare him. *One day while on a deck, I dropped a 10 lb. barbell plate on him. *He was quick enough to dodge it but he finally got the message. *He spent a few days down below by the pond but then disappeared. WILLIE THE WILD TURKEY: adopted us one summer. *He terrorized the cats, attacked his own reflection in auto bumpers, and slept on the roof, even in thunderstorms. *The only good thing about Willie was that he exterminated most of the cricket population. ASSORTED SMALL BIRDS: attack their reflections in windows and really create a mess. *This year, a robin, last year, a lady cardinal, the year before that, a song sparrow. Still, some wildlife is enjoyable. *Young turkey vultures are friendly and inquisitive while you work outside. *Their parents demonstrate a high degree of surgical skill extracting a brain from a deceased woodchuck or raccoon through the decedent's eye sockets. *Interesting to observe. Then there were the pheasants strutting and eating a ton of bugs but they suddenly and mysteriously disappeared 20-25 years ago. "ASSORTED SMALL BIRDS: attack their reflections in windows and really create a mess." That's not how it was explained to me at a recent visit to the Nature Center at a State Park. Me: "Why do you have a single decal of a bird on each of your windows?" Staff: "Have you ever had a bird bounce off your living room window?" Me: "Yes, I assume it's because they can't see the glass." Staff: "Correct. Now, under normal circumstances, when a bird is simply flying from one place to another, they would rather not fly into another a bird. By placing decals of birds on the windows, the birds turn away and find another route to wherever they were going." |
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