Sorry, but could not help it. Saw this on another news group and thought it
was cute.
I will post no more political stuff on this newsgroup.


A Gardener's Guide to Bushes
August 7, 2003 By Clara Dendron

Knowledge of how a plant grows is an important key to being
a successful gardener. Today, I am covering the description,
care and habit of the popular shrub known as the GW BUSH.


TYRANICUS imperialatum 'Fleecim'

LATIN NAME: TYRANICUS imperialatum 'Fleecim'

PLANT FAMILY: Facistceae

COMMON NAMES: Emperor Plant, Lyin King, GW

RELATED BUSHES: Jebularia novoteus Neilopsis S&L scandalus - (Sons of a
Bush)

REGION: The GW Bush is native to the north-eastern United States.
It tries to establish itself in all zones, but thrives best
in arid and dry states such as Texas. It is not well suited
to the west coast climate, so avoid planting in that locality.
In European regions such as France and Germany, it has a bad
reputation with most gardeners who shun its usage.

FORM: The growth buds of this bush lie dormant and do not easily
come into maturity. This shrub is low-down and has never grown
tall in stature. It tends to lie, instead of being upright
in habit. In its early stages it is weak and needs ample support,
protection and many Texas stakes to survive on its own. Once
established, it can grow wild and out of control. Choose the
site carefully. It has a well-earned reputation as a noxious
weed by greedily spreading beyond its territory and encroaching
on weaker plants. It may be outlawed in the future due to
its invasive qualities. To maintain this shrub, prune heavily
and fence in. Its dominating habit requires conservative gardeners
to follow PNAC guidelines for maximum control.

HABIT: This bush thrives in the spotlight so plant it on the south
side. Avoid drafts at all costs! It can take drafts only if
planted against AWOL. Keep it well watered since the GW is
a heavy drinker. Gluttonous tendencies of the shallow-rooted
shrub can deplete soils and use up precious resources. Being
a heavy feeder demands a rich diet, oily soil and abundant
bull manure. The GW is not fussy about global warming as it
craves a high heat exposure. It grows well in pollution or
acid rain.

Although it is a common bush, the GW is often sold by unethical
salespeople as a "specimen shrub" and is very expensive
to purchase and maintain. This evergreen bush is generally
found in wealthy gardens where those who can afford it are
rewarded with bountiful fruit that makes a good cash crop
and can turn a hefty profit.

Once established, it has a certain appeal and charm. Beware,
however, as the leaves conceal dangerously sharp thorns capable
of inflicting a bloody sting. Do not get close and handle
with great care. Although it is tough on the outside, the
leaves bruise easily if rubbed the wrong way.

VALUE: It has redeeming value when planted on corporate sites. This
establishes a symbiotic relationship allowing both to flourish.
For the average gardener, however, the pluses of this shrub
do not outweigh its profound deficits. I would not elect to
use it in my garden and have no vote of confidence in its
performance or merit. Plant at your own riskS it does not
live up to its good name!

Happy Gardening, Clara Dendron - Head Master Shrubologist

In the next edition: you will be shocked and awed to learn
that I will be covering the deadly and acidic Rumsfeldia ataxia
plant... a powerful balm used abundantly in the Mid East. --

In article , "Paul E. Lehmann"
wrote:

Sorry, but could not help it. Saw this on another news group and thought it
was cute.
I will post no more political stuff on this newsgroup.


A Gardener's Guide to Bushes
August 7, 2003 By Clara Dendron

Knowledge of how a plant grows is an important key to being
a successful gardener. Today, I am covering the description,
care and habit of the popular shrub known as the GW BUSH.


TYRANICUS imperialatum 'Fleecim'

LATIN NAME: TYRANICUS imperialatum 'Fleecim'

[...]

Love it : )

Jan

--
"To announce that there must be no criticism of the president,
or that we are to stand by the president right or wrong, is not
only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the
American public." --President Teddy Roosevelt