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Democrat convention schedule
Democrat National Convention Schedule
6:00pm - Opening prayer by Bishop Eugene Anderson 6:15pm - Supplementary opening prayer by Imam Sadiq al-Sadir via satellite 6:30pm - French national anthem sung by Hole 6:45pm - Opening remarks by Larry Flint 7:00pm - Canonization of New Jersey governor James McGreevey 7:15pm - Additional prayers to GAIA 7:30pm - Exhibition by NAMBLA: How to pick up young boys 8:00pm - Presentation of policy paper on lowering age of consent of males to eight 8:15pm - Celebration of the burning of 200 Christian churches by Albanian moslems 8:30pm - Stoning of two Boy Scouts 8:45pm - New healthcare polices presented by Jack Kevorkian 9:00pm - Homily to the invasion of Waco 9:15pm - Currency trafficking robber barron, George Soros, contributes 1.4 billion to Democrat party 9:30pm - Harvey Feirstein declares Kerry the first queer president 9:45pm - Kerry tells how botox erased the scars for which he received three purple hearts 9:50pm - Kerry intones his ³Christmas in Cambodia² story, declares it central turning point in his life 10:00pm - Theresa Heinz bumps into peasant, tells him to go f*ck himself 10:15pm - Recall of troops from everywhere 10:30pm - Burning at the stake of doctor who accidentally allowed partial birth abortion ³patient² to be born alive. 10:45pm - Supplementary demonstration by NAMBLA: How to pick up really young boys 11:00pm - Ritual scourging of two tax protesters 11:15pm - New marriage policy presented by PETA 11:45pm - Democrat platform amended to include preferential adoption of young boys by gay male couples 12:00pm - John Edwards tells the secret of getting rich by suing hospitals into bankruptcy 12:15am - Berkeley and Fallujah named sister cities 1:30am - Closing speech by Dick Cutter, president, Transsexuals for Kerry 1:45am - Instead of balloons, thousands of tubes of K/Y jelly drop from the ceiling onto excited convention revelers below 2:00am - Doors are locked, males and females segregated, saturnalia lasts until dawn 9:00am to Noon - Exhausted Democrats butt-walk to their rented SUV¹s and drive to airport |
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