Subject: Xmas Health & Safety



All employees planning to dash through the snow in a one horse open sleigh,
going over the fields and laughing all the way are advised that a Risk
Assessment will be required addressing the safety of an open sleigh for
members of the public.
This assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one
horse for such a venture, particularly where there are multiple passengers.
Please note that permission must also be obtained in writing from landowners
before their fields may be entered.
To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request
that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise
nuisance.

Benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available for collection by
any shepherds planning or required to watch their flocks at night.
While provision has also been made for remote monitoring of flocks by CCTV
cameras from a centrally heated shepherd observation hut, all users of this
facility are reminded that an emergency response plan must be submitted to
account for known risks to the flocks.

The angel of the Lord is additionally reminded that, prior to shining
his/her glory all around, s/he must confirm that all shepherds are wearing
appropriate Personal Protective Equipment to account for the harmful effects
of UVA, UVB and the overwhelming effects of Glory.

Following last year’s well-publicised case, everyone is advised that Equal
Opportunities legislation prohibits any comment with regard to the redness
of any part of Mr R Reindeer.
Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from reindeer games will be
considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against
those found guilty of this offence.

While it is acknowledged that gift bearing is a common practice in various
parts of the world, particularly the Orient, everyone is reminded that the
bearing of gifts is subject to Hospitality Guidelines and all gifts must be
registered.
This applies regardless of the individual, even royal personages.
It is particularly noted that direct gifts of currency or gold are
specifically precluded, while caution is advised regarding other common
gifts such as aromatic resins that may evoke allergic reactions.

Finally, in the recent instance of the infant found tucked up in a manger
without a crib for a bed, Social Services have been advised and will be
arriving shortly.

Merry Christmas!!

Mike
On the sunny South East Coast of the Isle of Wight.
..................................................
advert to follow

"'Mike'" wrote in message
...
Subject: Xmas Health & Safety



All employees planning to dash through the snow in a one horse open
sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way are advised that a
Risk Assessment will be required addressing the safety of an open sleigh
for members of the public.
This assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only
one horse for such a venture, particularly where there are multiple
passengers.
Please note that permission must also be obtained in writing from
landowners before their fields may be entered.
To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would
request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be
considered a noise nuisance.

Benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available for collection by
any shepherds planning or required to watch their flocks at night.
While provision has also been made for remote monitoring of flocks by CCTV
cameras from a centrally heated shepherd observation hut, all users of
this facility are reminded that an emergency response plan must be
submitted to account for known risks to the flocks.

The angel of the Lord is additionally reminded that, prior to shining
his/her glory all around, s/he must confirm that all shepherds are wearing
appropriate Personal Protective Equipment to account for the harmful
effects of UVA, UVB and the overwhelming effects of Glory.

Following last year’s well-publicised case, everyone is advised that Equal
Opportunities legislation prohibits any comment with regard to the redness
of any part of Mr R Reindeer.
Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from reindeer games will be
considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against
those found guilty of this offence.

While it is acknowledged that gift bearing is a common practice in various
parts of the world, particularly the Orient, everyone is reminded that the
bearing of gifts is subject to Hospitality Guidelines and all gifts must
be registered.
This applies regardless of the individual, even royal personages.
It is particularly noted that direct gifts of currency or gold are
specifically precluded, while caution is advised regarding other common
gifts such as aromatic resins that may evoke allergic reactions.

Finally, in the recent instance of the infant found tucked up in a manger
without a crib for a bed, Social Services have been advised and will be
arriving shortly.

Merry Christmas!!

Merry Christmas to you too
--
http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk/shop/

Many thanks and a merry Christmas to you too Ophelia

Mike

..................................................



"Ophelia" wrote in message ...



"'Mike'" wrote in message
...
Subject: Xmas Health & Safety



All employees planning to dash through the snow in a one horse open
sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way are advised that a
Risk Assessment will be required addressing the safety of an open sleigh
for members of the public.
This assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only
one horse for such a venture, particularly where there are multiple
passengers.
Please note that permission must also be obtained in writing from
landowners before their fields may be entered.
To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would
request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be
considered a noise nuisance.

Benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available for collection by
any shepherds planning or required to watch their flocks at night.
While provision has also been made for remote monitoring of flocks by CCTV
cameras from a centrally heated shepherd observation hut, all users of
this facility are reminded that an emergency response plan must be
submitted to account for known risks to the flocks.

The angel of the Lord is additionally reminded that, prior to shining
his/her glory all around, s/he must confirm that all shepherds are wearing
appropriate Personal Protective Equipment to account for the harmful
effects of UVA, UVB and the overwhelming effects of Glory.

Following last year’s well-publicised case, everyone is advised that Equal
Opportunities legislation prohibits any comment with regard to the redness
of any part of Mr R Reindeer.
Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from reindeer games will be
considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against
those found guilty of this offence.

While it is acknowledged that gift bearing is a common practice in various
parts of the world, particularly the Orient, everyone is reminded that the
bearing of gifts is subject to Hospitality Guidelines and all gifts must
be registered.
This applies regardless of the individual, even royal personages.
It is particularly noted that direct gifts of currency or gold are
specifically precluded, while caution is advised regarding other common
gifts such as aromatic resins that may evoke allergic reactions.

Finally, in the recent instance of the infant found tucked up in a manger
without a crib for a bed, Social Services have been advised and will be
arriving shortly.

Merry Christmas!!

Merry Christmas to you too
--
http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk/shop/