"..........Pre heat the oven to 200c, 400f Gas Mark 6 ...........cook near
the top of the oven for 50 - 55 minutes.
Caution filling may be HOT..."

If not get a new oven

On a chinese steak knife: "Warning: Keep out of children"

On the bottom of a Tesco dessert: "Do not turn upside-down"

On a bottle of *childrens'* medicine: "Do not drive or operate machinery"

and finally:

On a packet of peanuts: "Warning: May contain nuts"

The last one is a valid warning. Some people are allergic to "nuts" in
general, some people are alergic to "peanuts". Technically Peanuts are a
tuber and not a nut, but if they are packaged in a factory which handles
"nuts" the warning is required. Strange but True.

-=# Amos E Wolfe #=-

Amos E Wolfe18/2/04 4:47

"..........Pre heat the oven to 200c, 400f Gas Mark 6 ...........cook near
the top of the oven for 50 - 55 minutes.
Caution filling may be HOT..."

If not get a new oven

On a chinese steak knife: "Warning: Keep out of children"

On the bottom of a Tesco dessert: "Do not turn upside-down"

On a bottle of *childrens'* medicine: "Do not drive or operate machinery"

and finally:

On a packet of peanuts: "Warning: May contain nuts"

The last one is a valid warning. Some people are allergic to "nuts" in
general, some people are alergic to "peanuts". Technically Peanuts are a
tuber and not a nut, but if they are packaged in a factory which handles
"nuts" the warning is required. Strange but True.


My Godson swears he travelled on an airline which had packets of peanuts
with instructions "Open packet. Eat peanuts".

--

Sacha
(remove the weeds to email me)

The message
from "Amos E Wolfe" contains these words:

The last one is a valid warning. Some people are allergic to "nuts" in
general, some people are alergic to "peanuts". Technically Peanuts are a
tuber and not a nut, but if they are packaged in a factory which handles
"nuts" the warning is required. Strange but True.

Peanuts are a leguminous seed, not a tuber.

--
Rusty
Open the creaking gate to make a horrid.squeak, then lower the foobar.
http://www.users.zetnet.co.uk/hi-fi/

The message
from "Amos E Wolfe" contains these words:

The last one is a valid warning. Some people are allergic to "nuts" in
general, some people are alergic to "peanuts". Technically Peanuts are a
tuber and not a nut, but if they are packaged in a factory which handles
"nuts" the warning is required. Strange but True.

Peanuts are a leguminous seed, not a tuber.

--
Rusty
Open the creaking gate to make a horrid.squeak, then lower the foobar.
http://www.users.zetnet.co.uk/hi-fi/

The message
from "Amos E Wolfe" contains these words:

The last one is a valid warning. Some people are allergic to "nuts" in
general, some people are alergic to "peanuts". Technically Peanuts are a
tuber and not a nut, but if they are packaged in a factory which handles
"nuts" the warning is required. Strange but True.

Peanuts are a leguminous seed, not a tuber.

--
Rusty
Open the creaking gate to make a horrid.squeak, then lower the foobar.
http://www.users.zetnet.co.uk/hi-fi/

On Wed, 18 Feb 2004 07:49:52 +0000, Sacha
wrote:

Amos E Wolfe18/2/04 4:47
$r46$1@spart a.btinternet.com

"..........Pre heat the oven to 200c, 400f Gas Mark 6 ...........cook near
the top of the oven for 50 - 55 minutes.
Caution filling may be HOT..."

If not get a new oven

On a chinese steak knife: "Warning: Keep out of children"

On the bottom of a Tesco dessert: "Do not turn upside-down"

On a bottle of *childrens'* medicine: "Do not drive or operate machinery"

and finally:

On a packet of peanuts: "Warning: May contain nuts"

The last one is a valid warning. Some people are allergic to "nuts" in
general, some people are alergic to "peanuts". Technically Peanuts are a
tuber and not a nut, but if they are packaged in a factory which handles
"nuts" the warning is required. Strange but True.


My Godson swears he travelled on an airline which had packets of peanuts
with instructions "Open packet. Eat peanuts".

KLM offered packets of peanuts labeled

PEANUTS
CONTENTS: MIXED NUTS

--

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit;
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad

In article , martin
writes

Here's the complete set!!

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.
(The big one or the little one?)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure??? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)
(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(Just think of the reduction in the number of construction accidents
if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(or pets! What's for dinner?)

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(have a lobotomy)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
(What is this, a home castration kit?)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief

--
Jeff Taylor

"martin" wrote
KLM offered packets of peanuts labeled

PEANUTS
CONTENTS: MIXED NUTS

Here's a list..............

ON TESCO'S TIRIMISU DESERT - Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of
the box.)
ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING - Product will be hot after heating
ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON - Do not Iron clothes on body
ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS - For indoor or outdoor use only.
ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR - Not to be used for the other use.
ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW - Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
ON A PACKET OF SUNMAID RAISINS - Why not try tossing over your favourite
breakfast cereal?

Jenny :~)

"martin" wrote

KLM offered packets of peanuts labeled

PEANUTS
CONTENTS: MIXED NUTS

And more in a similar mode..............

Actual Headlines that escaped editorial scrutiny:

Include your Children when Baking Cookies
Something went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Police begin Campaign to run down Jaywalkers
Safety Experts say school bus Passengers should be Belted
Drunk gets nine months in Violin Case
Survivor of Siamese Twins joins Parents
Farmer Bill dies in House
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Ring of Debris Spotted Around Uranus
Stud Tires Unnecessary; Regular Tires, Better Performance
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
British Left Waffles in Falkland Islands
Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
Eye Drops off the Shelf
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Squad Helps Dog Bite Kids
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
Plane too close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Juvenile Court to try Shooting Defendent
Two Soviet Ships collide, One Dies
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
War dims Hope for Peace
If Strike isn't settled quickly, It may last a While
Cold Wave linked to Temperatures
Enfields Couple slain; Police suspect homicide
Red Tape holds up New Bridge
Deer Kill 17,000
Typhoon rips through cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut takes blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Kids make Nutritional Snacks
Chef throws his Heart into Helping Feed Needs
Arson Suspect Connected to Massachusetts Fire
British Union finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
Lansing Residents can drop off Trees
Local High School Dropouts cut in Half
New Vaccine may contain Rabies
Man minus Ear Waives Hearing
Deaf College opens Doors to Hearing
Air Head Fired
Man Steals Clock, Faces Time
Prosecutor releases Probe into Undersheriff
Old School Pillars are replaces by Alumni
Bank Drive-Up Window blocked by Board
Hospitals Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Jenny

"martin" wrote
KLM offered packets of peanuts labeled

PEANUTS
CONTENTS: MIXED NUTS

Here's a list..............

ON TESCO'S TIRIMISU DESERT - Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of
the box.)
ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING - Product will be hot after heating
ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON - Do not Iron clothes on body
ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS - For indoor or outdoor use only.
ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR - Not to be used for the other use.
ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW - Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
ON A PACKET OF SUNMAID RAISINS - Why not try tossing over your favourite
breakfast cereal?

Jenny :~)

"martin" wrote
KLM offered packets of peanuts labeled

PEANUTS
CONTENTS: MIXED NUTS

Here's a list..............

ON TESCO'S TIRIMISU DESERT - Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of
the box.)
ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING - Product will be hot after heating
ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON - Do not Iron clothes on body
ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS - For indoor or outdoor use only.
ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR - Not to be used for the other use.
ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW - Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
ON A PACKET OF SUNMAID RAISINS - Why not try tossing over your favourite
breakfast cereal?

Jenny :~)

On Wed, 18 Feb 2004 11:35:09 GMT, "JennyC" wrote:


"martin" wrote
KLM offered packets of peanuts labeled

PEANUTS
CONTENTS: MIXED NUTS

Here's a list..............

ON TESCO'S TIRIMISU DESERT - Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of
the box.)
ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING - Product will be hot after heating
ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON - Do not Iron clothes on body
ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS - For indoor or outdoor use only.
ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR - Not to be used for the other use.
ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW - Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
ON A PACKET OF SUNMAID RAISINS - Why not try tossing over your favourite
breakfast cereal?

Jenny :~)

I think I'll give up raisins for lent :-)

--

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit;
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad

"martin" wrote

KLM offered packets of peanuts labeled

PEANUTS
CONTENTS: MIXED NUTS

And more in a similar mode..............

Actual Headlines that escaped editorial scrutiny:

Include your Children when Baking Cookies
Something went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Police begin Campaign to run down Jaywalkers
Safety Experts say school bus Passengers should be Belted
Drunk gets nine months in Violin Case
Survivor of Siamese Twins joins Parents
Farmer Bill dies in House
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Ring of Debris Spotted Around Uranus
Stud Tires Unnecessary; Regular Tires, Better Performance
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
British Left Waffles in Falkland Islands
Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
Eye Drops off the Shelf
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Squad Helps Dog Bite Kids
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
Plane too close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Juvenile Court to try Shooting Defendent
Two Soviet Ships collide, One Dies
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
War dims Hope for Peace
If Strike isn't settled quickly, It may last a While
Cold Wave linked to Temperatures
Enfields Couple slain; Police suspect homicide
Red Tape holds up New Bridge
Deer Kill 17,000
Typhoon rips through cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut takes blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Kids make Nutritional Snacks
Chef throws his Heart into Helping Feed Needs
Arson Suspect Connected to Massachusetts Fire
British Union finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
Lansing Residents can drop off Trees
Local High School Dropouts cut in Half
New Vaccine may contain Rabies
Man minus Ear Waives Hearing
Deaf College opens Doors to Hearing
Air Head Fired
Man Steals Clock, Faces Time
Prosecutor releases Probe into Undersheriff
Old School Pillars are replaces by Alumni
Bank Drive-Up Window blocked by Board
Hospitals Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Jenny

"martin" wrote in message
...
On Wed, 18 Feb 2004 11:35:09 GMT, "JennyC" wrote:


"martin" wrote
KLM offered packets of peanuts labeled

PEANUTS
CONTENTS: MIXED NUTS

Here's a list..............

ON TESCO'S TIRIMISU DESERT - Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the
bottom of
the box.)
ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING - Product will be hot after heating
ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON - Do not Iron clothes on body
ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS - For indoor or outdoor use
only.
ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR - Not to be used for the other use.
ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW - Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
ON A PACKET OF SUNMAID RAISINS - Why not try tossing over your favourite
breakfast cereal?

Jenny :~)

I think I'll give up raisins for lent :-)

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

"martin" wrote

KLM offered packets of peanuts labeled

PEANUTS
CONTENTS: MIXED NUTS

And more in a similar mode..............

Actual Headlines that escaped editorial scrutiny:

Include your Children when Baking Cookies
Something went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Police begin Campaign to run down Jaywalkers
Safety Experts say school bus Passengers should be Belted
Drunk gets nine months in Violin Case
Survivor of Siamese Twins joins Parents
Farmer Bill dies in House
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Ring of Debris Spotted Around Uranus
Stud Tires Unnecessary; Regular Tires, Better Performance
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
British Left Waffles in Falkland Islands
Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
Eye Drops off the Shelf
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Squad Helps Dog Bite Kids
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
Plane too close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Juvenile Court to try Shooting Defendent
Two Soviet Ships collide, One Dies
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
War dims Hope for Peace
If Strike isn't settled quickly, It may last a While
Cold Wave linked to Temperatures
Enfields Couple slain; Police suspect homicide
Red Tape holds up New Bridge
Deer Kill 17,000
Typhoon rips through cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut takes blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Kids make Nutritional Snacks
Chef throws his Heart into Helping Feed Needs
Arson Suspect Connected to Massachusetts Fire
British Union finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
Lansing Residents can drop off Trees
Local High School Dropouts cut in Half
New Vaccine may contain Rabies
Man minus Ear Waives Hearing
Deaf College opens Doors to Hearing
Air Head Fired
Man Steals Clock, Faces Time
Prosecutor releases Probe into Undersheriff
Old School Pillars are replaces by Alumni
Bank Drive-Up Window blocked by Board
Hospitals Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Jenny