A while ago, someone posted a message in this group about what God would say
to gardeners. If I remember rightly it went along the lines that gardeners
are obsessed with grass and chop trees down so they can them make them into
mulch to put back on the garden etc.

Anyway, if anyone has any idea what I'm talking about (long shot...I know, I
barely know what I'm talking about!), please could you post it again because
I wanted to show it to my neighbour and I forgot to print it the last time.

Jeannie


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"Jeannie" wrote:

Anyway, if anyone has any idea what I'm talking about (long shot...I know, I
barely know what I'm talking about!), please could you post it again

I saw one about the "suburbanite" tribe, who insisted on ripping up all
God's pretty wildflowers and planting boring high-maintenance grass around
thousands of identical homes...

I enjoyed it, since my lawn is of the "as long as it's green" school.

Peace,


Gary Woods AKA K2AHC- PGP key on request, or at home.earthlink.net/~gwoods
Zone 5/6 in upstate New York, 1420' elevation. NY WO G

"Jeannie" wrote:

Anyway, if anyone has any idea what I'm talking about (long shot...I know, I
barely know what I'm talking about!), please could you post it again

I saw one about the "suburbanite" tribe, who insisted on ripping up all
God's pretty wildflowers and planting boring high-maintenance grass around
thousands of identical homes...

I enjoyed it, since my lawn is of the "as long as it's green" school.

Peace,


Gary Woods AKA K2AHC- PGP key on request, or at home.earthlink.net/~gwoods
Zone 5/6 in upstate New York, 1420' elevation. NY WO G

"Gary" wrote in message
...
"Jeannie" wrote:

I saw one about the "suburbanite" tribe, who insisted on ripping up all
God's pretty wildflowers and planting boring high-maintenance grass around
thousands of identical homes...

I enjoyed it, since my lawn is of the "as long as it's green" school.

Peace,

Yes that was it, I'm so glad that someone else knows what I mean! Any idea
where I can get a copy?

Jeannie


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Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.726 / Virus Database: 481 - Release Date: 22/07/04

Doesn't matter, I've googled and found it.

Jeannie


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Following up to Jeannie

Anyway, if anyone has any idea what I'm talking about

If you Google on "groups" and pick advanced options and set this
group only, then search on a few words you are sure were in the
post, it should pop up, although I couldnt find it using "god"
and "gardeners".
--
Mike Reid
If god wanted us to be vegetarians he wouldn't have made animals out of meat.
Wasdale-Lake district-Thames path-London "http://www.fellwalk.co.uk" -- you can email us@ this site
Eat-walk-Spain "http://www.fell-walker.co.uk" -- dontuse@ all, it's a spamtrap

"Jeannie" wrote in message
...
A while ago, someone posted a message in this group about what God would
say
to gardeners. If I remember rightly it went along the lines that gardeners
are obsessed with grass and chop trees down so they can them make them
into
mulch to put back on the garden etc.

Anyway, if anyone has any idea what I'm talking about (long shot...I know,
I
barely know what I'm talking about!), please could you post it again
because
I wanted to show it to my neighbour and I forgot to print it the last
time.

Jeannie

This was originally posted by Sacha, (I believe) but has appeared many times
since.


Imagine the conversation The Creator might have had with St. Francis on the
subject of lawns:

GOD: Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is
going on down there? What happened to the dandelions,violets, thistle and
stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan.Those
plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with
abandon. The nectar from the long lasting blossoms attracts butterflies,
honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of
colours by now. But all I see are these green rectangles.

ST. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites.
They started calling your flowers "weeds" and went to great lengths to kill
them and replace them with grass.

GOD: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colourful. It doesn't attract
butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms.It's temperamental
with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing
there?

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and
keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning
any other plant that crops up in the lawn.

GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast.
That must make the homeowners happy.

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut
it-sometimes twice a week.

GOD: They cut it? Do they then bail it like hay?

ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in
bags.

GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?

ST. FRANCIS: No Sir. Just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.

GOD: Now let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow.
And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?

St. Francis: Yes, Sir.

God: These Earthlings must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the
rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a
lot of work.

St. Francis: You aren't going to believe this Lord. When the grass stops
growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they
can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

God: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer
stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the
spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn they fall
to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and
protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to
enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life.

St. Francis: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new
circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay
to have them hauled away.

God: No. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter
and to keep the soil moist and loose?

St. Francis: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something
which they call mulch. The haul it home and spread it around in place of
the leaves.

God: And where do they get this mulch?

St. Francis: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.

God: Enough. I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine,
you're in charge of the arts. What movie have they scheduled for us
tonight?

St. Catherine: Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It's a real stupid movie about.....

God: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.

I trust this is the one ???? :-))

"Jeannie" wrote in message
...
A while ago, someone posted a message in this group about what God would
say
to gardeners.

"Grass and ivy are my curse on you for eating all my flippin' apples"

--
Brian
Sig: I have nothing to say

On 4/8/04 17:52, in article , "Mike"
wrote:

snip Jeannie

This was originally posted by Sacha, (I believe) but has appeared many times
since.

snip
Not by me, I think. Jenny sent this:
GOD: St. Francis, you know all about gardens and nature. What in
the world is going on down there in the USA? What happened to the
dandelions,
violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect,
no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil,
withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the
long
lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honeybees and flocks of
songbirds.
I expected to see a vast garden of colours by now. But all I see are
these
green rectangles.

ST. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The
Suburbanites.
They started calling your flowers weeds and went to great lengths to
kill them and replace them with grass.

GOD: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colourful. It doesn't
attract
butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It's
temperamental with temperatures.
Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it
and
keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and
poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.

GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow
really
fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little,
they
cut it, sometimes twice a week.

GOD: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?

ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in
bags.

GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?

ST. FRANCIS: No, sir -- just the opposite. They pay to throw it
away.

GOD: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will
grow.
And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?

ST. FRANCIS: Yes, sir.

GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut
back
on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and
saves
them a lot of work.

ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass
stops
growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it
so
they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a
sheer stoke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves
in the
spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn
they fall to
the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil
and
protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form
compost to
enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life.

ST. FRANCIS: You'd better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have
drawn a
new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great
piles and
pay
to have them hauled away.

GOD: No. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the
winter and to keep the soil moist and loose?

ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy
something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it
around in place of the leaves.

GOD: And where do they get this mulch?

ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the
mulch.

GOD: Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. St.
Catherine,
you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us
tonight?

ST. CATHERINE: Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It's a real stupid movie about
...

GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St.
Francis.