In article ,
"Franz Heymann" writes:
|
| ... Don't ask about the joke about
| the physicist, statistician and mathematician ....
|
| Since you don't want Gavin to ask it, I will.

You asked for it!

A physicist, statistician and mathematician were walking in
Scotland and saw a black sheep. The physicist said:

Ah! In Scotland the sheep are black.

The statistician said:

No, no. You can't say that. In Scotland, some of the sheep
are black.

The mathematician said:

No, no. You can't say that. In Scotland, there is at least
one sheep, at least one side of which is black.


Regards,
Nick Maclaren.

"Nick Maclaren" wrote in message
...

In article ,
"Franz Heymann" writes:
|
| ... Don't ask about the joke about
| the physicist, statistician and mathematician ....
|
| Since you don't want Gavin to ask it, I will.

You asked for it!

A physicist, statistician and mathematician were walking in
Scotland and saw a black sheep. The physicist said:

Ah! In Scotland the sheep are black.

The statistician said:

No, no. You can't say that. In Scotland, some of the sheep
are black.

The mathematician said:

No, no. You can't say that. In Scotland, there is at least
one sheep, at least one side of which is black.


And the biologist then arrives along and points out that the sheep is in
fact a dog.



Regards,
Nick Maclaren.

In article ,
"Des Higgins" writes:
|
| And the biologist then arrives along and points out that the sheep is in
| fact a dog.

That's a fragment of a blonde joke that got disconnected and
attached itself to this one.

The point about the one I told is that it is killingly funny if
you have had many dealings with seriously pure mathematicians,
such as exist in universities like Cambridge, Warwick and so on.
If you haven't, it falls very flat.

Yes, they really DO behave like that! I was never as extreme
a case.


Regards,
Nick Maclaren.

In article ,
Martin Brown wrote:
In message , Dave_R.
writes
On the topic of compost, does anyone have a good suggestion as to how
to deal with a lot of grass cuttings? I'm told (& have seen) that if I
put too much grass on the compost heap I end up with a dark, soggy,
smelly mass. What is the best suggestion for diluting the grass?

For certain values of "too much" this must be true, but I have no
problems at all adding roughly 1-2m^3 of grass clippings to mine every
week. It immediately starts rotting and reaches a peak temperature of
70-80C internally after a couple of days (slightly funny stale smell of
short chain fatty acids). It then slumps and I turn it over to mix in
and finish the top dry bit. It has mostly all gone by the time I next
cut the grass.

No, it's not quite like that. "Too much" depends critically on how
lush and wet the clippings are - it is only a problem when they
compact into an anaerobic block and turn into silage. You can add
a cubic foot of really soggy grass and have a (minor, temporary)
problem, or an arbitrary amount of drier grass and have none.

Obviously I do mix in hedge cuttings when I have them since the heap at
these sort of temperatures will consume quite thick hedge prunings too.

You don't even need the temperature. I run a cold heap, and 1/2"
thick privet prunings rot down quite happily - in a year or two.
It really is quite hard to make a complete failure of composting,
given that the solution to almost all problems is to rectify the
compaction or dampness problem and try again!


Regards,
Nick Maclaren.

In message , Nick Maclaren
writes
In article ,
Martin Brown wrote:
In message , Dave_R.
writes
On the topic of compost, does anyone have a good suggestion as to how
to deal with a lot of grass cuttings? I'm told (& have seen) that if I
put too much grass on the compost heap I end up with a dark, soggy,
smelly mass. What is the best suggestion for diluting the grass?

For certain values of "too much" this must be true, but I have no
problems at all adding roughly 1-2m^3 of grass clippings to mine every
week. It immediately starts rotting and reaches a peak temperature of
70-80C internally after a couple of days (slightly funny stale smell of
short chain fatty acids). It then slumps and I turn it over to mix in
and finish the top dry bit. It has mostly all gone by the time I next
cut the grass.

No, it's not quite like that. "Too much" depends critically on how
lush and wet the clippings are - it is only a problem when they
compact into an anaerobic block and turn into silage.

I suspect our positions are much closer than it may seem. I only ever
cut the grass when it is nice and dry and I don't overfeed it. I ensure
plenty of air is mixed with the grass added to the heap and add some
water if it looks too dry and dusty. I suspect some of the problems that
people have are due to anaerobic slabs of compacted grass out of
"clever" lawn mowers.

You can add
a cubic foot of really soggy grass and have a (minor, temporary)
problem, or an arbitrary amount of drier grass and have none.

Obviously I do mix in hedge cuttings when I have them since the heap at
these sort of temperatures will consume quite thick hedge prunings too.

You don't even need the temperature. I run a cold heap, and 1/2"
thick privet prunings rot down quite happily - in a year or two.

I am more impatient. I like my hedge clippings to disappear ASAP. The
down side is that the wooden palette sides of the heap also rot away.

It really is quite hard to make a complete failure of composting,
given that the solution to almost all problems is to rectify the
compaction or dampness problem and try again!

I agree. If all else fails mix some new stuff into the heap and it will
go. My own experience remains that within reason you can add 1-2m^3 of
almost any aerated green garden waste to a heap and it will go hot.

It may even be worth doing the hedge cut and lawn mowing together to
obtain enough bulk once or twice a year. I am convinced that a hot heap
makes a better compost with much less viable weed seeds.

Regards,
--
Martin Brown

Victoria Clare wrote in message
.209...
(Nick Maclaren) wrote in news:ch57m9$jf8$1
@pegasus.csx.cam.ac.uk:

They are probably true flies, called by gardeners compost flies,
but could be any number of species. Ignore them. They tickle,
stick to paint, and otherwise make minor nuisances of themselves,
but so what?


If they are annoying you, I find spreading newspaper (just one sheet
thick)
on top of the compost seems to reduce the population, and the newspaper
breaks dowm quite quickly and joins the compost quickly.

(Don't put too many sheets on at a time though, or it forms a lump and
takes ages to compost. Layers interspersed with other stuff is the way to
go)

Victoria

--
gardening on a north-facing hill
in South-East Cornwall
--

I agree with Victoria. Another solution is spread a thin layer of
soil/used compost over the surface.
Spider

In article ,
Martin Brown wrote:

I suspect our positions are much closer than it may seem. I only ever
cut the grass when it is nice and dry and I don't overfeed it. I ensure
plenty of air is mixed with the grass added to the heap and add some
water if it looks too dry and dusty. I suspect some of the problems that
people have are due to anaerobic slabs of compacted grass out of
"clever" lawn mowers.

I suspect that almost all are! But it is not just overfeeding and
choosing your time that causes the trouble, it is whether the sun
reaches the grass to dry it out :-(

You don't even need the temperature. I run a cold heap, and 1/2"
thick privet prunings rot down quite happily - in a year or two.

I am more impatient. I like my hedge clippings to disappear ASAP. The
down side is that the wooden palette sides of the heap also rot away.

This is the point at which I quote Kipling:

There are nine and sixty ways of constructing tribal lays,
And every single one of them is right.

The same applies to composting.

It really is quite hard to make a complete failure of composting,
given that the solution to almost all problems is to rectify the
compaction or dampness problem and try again!

I agree. If all else fails mix some new stuff into the heap and it will
go. My own experience remains that within reason you can add 1-2m^3 of
almost any aerated green garden waste to a heap and it will go hot.

It may even be worth doing the hedge cut and lawn mowing together to
obtain enough bulk once or twice a year. I am convinced that a hot heap
makes a better compost with much less viable weed seeds.

I am not. I find that a cold heap works perfectly well, and produces
a more fibrous compost (useful for clay and sand). But it takes much
longer.


Regards,
Nick Maclaren.