To winterize or not to winterize lawn



"Winterize your lawn", the big sign outside the garden store commanded. I've
fed it, watered it, mowed it, raked it and watched a lot of it die away. Now
I'm supposed to winterize it? I hope it's too late. Grass lawns have to be
the stupidest thing we've come up with outside of a thong swimsuits! We
constantly battle dandelions, Queen's lace, thistle, violets, chicory and
clover that thrive naturally, so we can grow grass that must be nursed
through an annual four-step chemical dependency.



Imagine the conversation The Creator might have with St. Francis about this:



"Frank you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on
down there in the Midwest? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle
and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan.
Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with
abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracted butterflies,
honeybees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors
by now. But all I see are these green rectangles."



" It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites.

They started calling your flowers "weeds" and went to great extent to kill
them and replace them with grass".



" Grass? But its so boring. Its not colorful. It doesn't attract
butterflies, birds and bees, Only grubs and sod worms. Its' temperamental
with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that green grass
growing there?



" Apparently so, Lord, They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green.
They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poising any other plant that
crops up in the lawn".



" The spring rains and cool weather probably make grass grow really fast.
That must make the Suburbanites happy".



" Not exactly, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it-sometimes
twice a week".



" They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?"



" Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags."



" They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?"



" No, sir. Just the opposite. They pay to throw it away".



" Now let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And
when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?"



" Yes, sir."



" These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the
rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot
of work."



" You aren't going to believe this Lord. When the grass stops growing so
fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can
continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it."



" What nonsense! At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer
stroke of genius,

if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty
an d shade in the summer . In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a
natural blanket

to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they
rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of
life."



" You better sit down, Lord. The suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As
soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and have them
hauled away."



" No! What do they do to protect the shrub and the tree roots in the winter
and keep the soil moist and loose?"



" After throwing away your leaves, they go out and buy something they call
mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in the place of leaves."



" and where do they get this mulch?"



" They cut down trees and grind them up."



"Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. Saint Catherine, you're
in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?"



" Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It's a real stupid movie about.



" Never mind I think I just heard the whole story."



anonymous

"symplastless" wrote in message
. ..
To winterize or not to winterize lawn
and replace them with grass".



It is spring, dufus.

I guess you can't figure it out.

Sad? Again offering no help.


--
Sincerely,
John A. Keslick, Jr.
Consulting Forester & Tree Expert
http://home.ccil.org/~treeman
and www.treedictionary.com
Beware of so-called tree experts who do not understand tree biology.
Storms, fires, floods, earthquakes, and volcanic eruptions keep reminding us
that we are not the boss.

"D. Staples" wrote in message
...

"symplastless" wrote in message
. ..
To winterize or not to winterize lawn
and replace them with grass".



It is spring, dufus.

On Fri, 28 Mar 2008 19:00:59 -0400, "symplastless"
wrote:

To winterize or not to winterize lawn



"Winterize your lawn", the big sign outside the garden store commanded. I've
fed it, watered it, mowed it, raked it and watched a lot of it die away. Now
I'm supposed to winterize it? I hope it's too late. Grass lawns have to be

There are a LOT of products for lawns. Lawn care has a lot to do with
location. Fall fertilization is most important for cool grasses
because the roots grow during the cooler winter months. For my
particular location (e TN) I use organic fertilizers in the spring to
avoid burning the grass--we can have brutal harsh dry hot long
summers. (I hate summer in TN!)

"Phisherman" wrote in message
...
On Fri, 28 Mar 2008 19:00:59 -0400, "symplastless"
wrote:

To winterize or not to winterize lawn



"Winterize your lawn", the big sign outside the garden store commanded.
I've
fed it, watered it, mowed it, raked it and watched a lot of it die away.
Now
I'm supposed to winterize it? I hope it's too late. Grass lawns have to be

There are a LOT of products for lawns. Lawn care has a lot to do with
location. Fall fertilization is most important for cool grasses
because the roots grow during the cooler winter months. For my
particular location (e TN) I use organic fertilizers in the spring to
avoid burning the grass--we can have brutal harsh dry hot long
summers. (I hate summer in TN!)

Actually turf grass is not native. There are some native clump grasses like
little blue stem and such. Clover is nice because you get free chemicals
like the element nitrogen. You also get the N without a compromise to
ground water pollution like N applied by owners. In our hot dry summers
clover might be the only thing green. The monoculture turf grass always
turns brown in August (most of the time.

Anyway we have hot dry summers here often. A forest has the survival
feature of nurse logs or course woody debris that become like sponges and
with soil contact act as a water reservoirs for trees.


--
Sincerely,
John A. Keslick, Jr.
Consulting Forester & Tree Expert
http://home.ccil.org/~treeman
and www.treedictionary.com
Beware of so-called tree experts who do not understand tree biology.
Storms, fires, floods, earthquakes, and volcanic eruptions keep reminding us
that we are not the boss.

"symplastless" wrote in message
. ..

Grass lawns have to be
the stupidest thing we've come up with outside of a thong swimsuits!

I have to agree that as a ground cover in a domestic situation grass leaves
much to be desired, except where a play area for sports or small children is
required.

But I must take issue with your mistake regarding thong swimsuits. From the
start I am tempted to say that grass lawns are better outside of thong
swimsuits than inside. That would be flippant and the matter requires a
serious reply.

For a start thongs are efficient. In this era of growing population and
limited resources we must conserve materials such as natural fibres. Would
you go back to neck-to-knee? Think of how many thongs you could make with
that much cloth. Also they take very little washing thus saving water on this
thirsty world.

Secondly they generate additional jobs. Is there full employment where you
live? If you had more thongs in regular use then you would require more
depilitators and so have job growth. There is a clear mathematical
relationship here, the smaller the swimsuit then the more artful waxing,
shaving and plucking is required.

Before you get carried away and suggest that this implies maximal employment
where no swimsuits are worn consider this. If one allows it to all hang out
(so to speak) there is no need for depilitation. In fact some might need to
thicken their thatch. A township of nudists might experience a small growth
in the sale of combs but a manufacturing industry is nowhere near as benefical
as a labour-intensive service industry - so stick to thongs! Hair removal is
also earth-friendly because, as we know, hair in modest amounts is quite
suitable for composting.

Thirdly you clearly spend far too much time admiring trees and do not give
sufficient attention to people. Next time you are at the beach leave your
shigometry texts at home, a big hat and dark glasses will do far more to
improve the density of your wood.

David