We all know you probably did not have the best up bringing as a young
punk bitch in the slums of New YOrk City as per your old website. We
also know about the scum bags from your own written accounts on your
old website that used to like to take advantage of you as a teen, and
your exposure to booze and drugs at such a young age, and then all
those hap hazzard marraiges, what was it 5 or 6 hubbys, that all took
you for a ride, just like the motor cycle gangs all took you for a
ride as well as rode you in the process, that you do feel so insecure
like a whipped kitty cat or puppy dog. Then those nasty doctors that
talked you into a discount surgery to get rid of the demons inside of
you, did not help, nor did your OBGYN prescribing you tetesterone
instead of estrogen, so we totally understand your confusion. You now
there is help for the abuse syndrome, and if you were not so me me me,
there is lots of folks here that would be glad to be your friend, and
provide a shoulder for you to cry on, sure bound to be better than a
socks shoulder....however you have that insecure feeling about your
self and its eating deep in to your body, and its probably at the
point that no amount of meds or professional help is going to do much
for it at this stage of the game.... I can only imagaine how awfull
and insane it is to go through life with such a dirty guilt about ones
self........especially when you lack anyone that supports you. You may
have enough time left to get some of your problems aleviated, so don;t
play around, go seek help ASAP.......this forum and probably the new
moderated one will be here by the time you get back.......we're all
pulling for you Carol to get well......and kick those voices and
demons out of your head and put them on the road.........


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I forgot more about ponds and koi than I'll ever know!