"~ Windsong ~" wrote:


"Lilly" wrote in message
oups.com...
Carol & Nedra, wow, to the both of you. They are certainly tales of
caution. It's sad and sickening when you can't even trust an immediate
family member.

## No, you can't trust family. You can't even trust that your own children
will have your best interests at heart in the end.


Sad to say that's what happens once money (and who gets it) rears its head.

San Diego Joe
4,000 - 5,000 Gallons.
Goldfish, a RES named Colombo and an Oscar.



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You know Joe ... I have thought alot about the money aspect of this whole
situation -
that isn't the issue. Momma doesn't have much money and what there is will
soon
be eaten up by the nursing home costs. With me, it was having a brother who
consistently Lied to me about Everything. I can't tolerate that.

Nedra

Lotus Garden:
http://community.webshots.com/user/nedra118
Backyard Pond:
http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Pines/4836
"San Diego Joe" wrote in message
...
"~ Windsong ~" wrote:


"Lilly" wrote in message
oups.com...
Carol & Nedra, wow, to the both of you. They are certainly tales of
caution. It's sad and sickening when you can't even trust an immediate
family member.

## No, you can't trust family. You can't even trust that your own
children
will have your best interests at heart in the end.


Sad to say that's what happens once money (and who gets it) rears its
head.

San Diego Joe
4,000 - 5,000 Gallons.
Goldfish, a RES named Colombo and an Oscar.



----== Posted via Newsfeeds.Com - Unlimited-Uncensored-Secure Usenet
News==----
http://www.newsfeeds.com The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! 100,000
Newsgroups
---= East/West-Coast Server Farms - Total Privacy via Encryption =---

I think that not being able to trust family is just Awful!
My sons and I have talked at
length about what should be done with (my) property in Cedar Hill including
my stuff.
We agree on everything. I told them if they cross me I'll come back and
haunt them!
LOL ...
My Powers of Attorney are made out. And a Quit Claim deed to the property
has been
taken care of. Now all I have to do is take care of the ponds ... ;-)

Nedra

Lotus Garden:
http://community.webshots.com/user/nedra118
Backyard Pond:
http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Pines/4836
"~ Windsong ~" P@P wrote in message
...

"Lilly" wrote in message
oups.com...
Carol & Nedra, wow, to the both of you. They are certainly tales of
caution. It's sad and sickening when you can't even trust an immediate
family member.

## No, you can't trust family. You can't even trust that your own
children
will have your best interests at heart in the end.

Sending warm wishes to you and your mothers.

## Thanks.

Lilly

--
Carol.... the frugal ponder...
Completely FREE softwa
http://www.pricelessware.org/thelist/index.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank You for your warm wishes, Lilly.

This should be a cautionary tale to anyone
who has elderly parent/s and brothers and sisters to deal with.

Nedra

Lotus Garden:
http://community.webshots.com/user/nedra118
Backyard Pond:
http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Pines/4836
"Lilly" wrote in message
oups.com...
Carol & Nedra, wow, to the both of you. They are certainly tales of
caution. It's sad and sickening when you can't even trust an immediate
family member.

Sending warm wishes to you and your mothers.

Lilly

Nedra wrote:
Thanks BV. She has no understanding of the cyber world...but she
does
understand
when someome wishes her well. I'll pass on your wishes to her.

"Nedra" wrote in message
ink.net...
I think that not being able to trust family is just Awful!
My sons and I have talked at
length about what should be done with (my) property in Cedar Hill
including
my stuff.
We agree on everything. I told them if they cross me I'll come back and
haunt them!
LOL ...
My Powers of Attorney are made out. And a Quit Claim deed to the property
has been
taken care of. Now all I have to do is take care of the ponds ... ;-)

Nedra
=================
I spoke to my son this evening. My husband and myself have got to sit down
and decide what's what since we have 3 grown kids between us. We don't want
them to have any problems (especially with each other) when we either become
"helpless" or pass away.

--
Carol.... the frugal ponder...
"People who live in glass houses should make love in the basement."
~~~~~~~ }((((((o
http://www.heartoftn.net/users/windsong/index.html
Completely FREE softwa
http://www.pricelessware.org/thelist/index.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~ Windsong ~ wrote:


"Lt. Kizhe Catson" wrote in message
...

Carol: I'm a little puzzled how your bro "got power of attorney from her
lawyer".

** Her lawyer, knowing she was "confused" and not competent, had her sign
the papers giving POA to my brother. She didn't even remember signing any
papers when I spoke to her. She didn't realize she had signed her house,
her saving and her how away. I got nowhere with her lawyer. This was in
Queens NY several years ago.

Maybe this is a difference between jurisdictions (or maybe my
parents were just better prepared) than yours, but AFAIK PofA is a
document you draw up while you're still capable,

** Believe me - she was far from capable at the time. Her MD could prove
that! My brother went to her lawyer and had this done before my visit
that year.

I doubt that's legal - basically you _must_ be competent to sign a POA, and
if you're not competent the state should take guardianship if proper POAs
haven't been done beforehand. But it'd cost you an arm and a leg to fight
it, and none of it would make your Mother any healthier. If you really
wanted to fight it, though, you would have to have your _own_ lawyer - he's
never going to back down on his own after having done something
questionable.

in which you name the
people you want running your life for you when you're not.

** She never did this. She thought she was going to live forever. She
never counted on having strokes (she had several).

Yeah, that's the way it goes too often. The woman I commute with has had
her mother in and out of hospital twice in the last week, and her mother
started the "if anything happens to me" speech on Sunday. You hate to hear
it, especially when she doesn't seem to be "that" sick, but better some
time than never at all.
--
derek

Anne Lurie wrote:

Also, here is the link to the website of NYS Attorney General Eliot
Spitzer:
http://www.oag.state.ny.us/ (Even if all this happened to your mother
before Spitzer, NYS AG's have traditionally been tough characters.)


And that Spitzer is something else! I heard him on Canadian radio a couple
of weeks ago.
--
derek

Nedra wrote:

I think that not being able to trust family is just Awful!
My sons and I have talked at
length about what should be done with (my) property in Cedar Hill
including my stuff.
We agree on everything. I told them if they cross me I'll come back and
haunt them!
LOL ...

Which is what _my_ mother always says, too :-)
--
derek

"Nedra" wrote:
I think that not being able to trust family is just Awful!

Trust has to be earned, family or no. I have two sisters I'd trust with my
life, and a brother who I wouldn't trust with my bicycle.

Derek Broughton wrote:
~ Windsong ~ wrote:


"Lt. Kizhe Catson" wrote in message
...

Carol: I'm a little puzzled how your bro "got power of attorney from her
lawyer".

** Her lawyer, knowing she was "confused" and not competent, had her sign
the papers giving POA to my brother. She didn't even remember signing any
papers when I spoke to her. She didn't realize she had signed her house,
her saving and her how away. I got nowhere with her lawyer. This was in
Queens NY several years ago.

Maybe this is a difference between jurisdictions (or maybe my

parents were just better prepared) than yours, but AFAIK PofA is a
document you draw up while you're still capable,

** Believe me - she was far from capable at the time. Her MD could prove
that! My brother went to her lawyer and had this done before my visit
that year.


I doubt that's legal -basically you _must_ be competent to sign a POA, and

Oh, I'm damned *certain* that it's not legal, and the lawyer could be
disciplined by his bar association, if it could be proved ("Aye, and
there's the rub!"). At least, that's the way it is in Ontario and I'd
be astounded if any US state was different. Not only must you be
competent, you must even have a rough idea of the value and nature of
your assets -- our lawyer asked us for one, when we made our own wills &
PoAs.

The one time I had to get my Dad to do some stuff w.r.t their PoAs, the
lawyer sent me *out* *of* *the* *room* while she talked with Dad and
satisfied herself that he was competent, and was not acting under duress.

We really like our lawyer (aside from her legal/ethical virtues, her
office is in a semi-rural house, and the office mascot is a large,
friendly, well-behaved dog, who greets you politely when you come in).

-- Kizhe

if you're not competent the state should take guardianship if proper POAs
haven't been done beforehand. But it'd cost you an arm and a leg to fight
it, and none of it would make your Mother any healthier. If you really
wanted to fight it, though, you would have to have your _own_ lawyer - he's
never going to back down on his own after having done something
questionable.


in which you name the

people you want running your life for you when you're not.

** She never did this. She thought she was going to live forever. She
never counted on having strokes (she had several).


Yeah, that's the way it goes too often. The woman I commute with has had
her mother in and out of hospital twice in the last week, and her mother
started the "if anything happens to me" speech on Sunday. You hate to hear
it, especially when she doesn't seem to be "that" sick, but better some
time than never at all.

Andy Hill wrote:

"Nedra" wrote:
I think that not being able to trust family is just Awful!

Trust has to be earned, family or no. I have two sisters I'd trust with
my life, and a brother who I wouldn't trust with my bicycle.

Much the same. I'm not even that close to my sisters, but I trust them.
The brother... well he drank himself to death. And yeah I _did_ once trust
him with my bicycle. I didn't get it back.
--
derek

Anne Lurie wrote:

But, Derek, which would you rather have:

Spitzer on your side or on the other side?

Mine for sure. I wasn't criticizing - I'd never heard of him before, and
don't even recall _why_ our current affairs show was interviewing him, but
I thought the world can use a lot more like him.
--
derek