The Pillsbury Doughboy:
The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and
complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 72.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased casket. Dozens of celebrities
turned out to pay their respects including Mrs.. Butterworth, Hungry
Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and
Captain Crunch. The gravesite was piled high with flours. As a long-time
friend, Aunt Jemima, delivered the eulogy, she described Doughboy as a
man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in
show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not
considered a very "smart" cookie, wasting much of his dough on
half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, as
a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions. Doughboy is
survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane
Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly
father, Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes. Happy Icying
Brrrrr.AL