Job Description - PARENT

POSITION -

Mummy, Mum, Mother
Daddy, Dad, The Old Man

JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often
chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and
organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will
include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some
overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on
rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel
expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs £5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also,
must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero
to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the
garden are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating
technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish
toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to
plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental
outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment
the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million
cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the
best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete
accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also
include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without
complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those
in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually
exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon
payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will
help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them
whatever is left. The oddest thing about it this reverse-salary scheme is
that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement,
no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies
limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you
play your cards right.



--
.................................................. .........
Royal Naval Electrical Branch Association
www.rnshipmates.co.uk
www.nsrafa.com

Mike wrote:
Job Description - PARENT

POSITION -

Mummy, Mum, Mother
Daddy, Dad, The Old Man

JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often
chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and
organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will
include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some
overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on
rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel
expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs £5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also,
must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero
to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the
garden are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating
technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish
toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to
plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental
outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment
the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million
cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the
best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete
accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also
include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without
complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those
in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually
exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon
payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will
help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them
whatever is left. The oddest thing about it this reverse-salary scheme is
that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement,
no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies
limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you
play your cards right.



Also must expect legal action if you get it wrong, or even get it right
the right way.

In reply to Mike ) who wrote this in
, I, Marvo, say :

snip

BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and
free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

You get free prescriptions for a while though :-)

Mike wrote:
Job Description - PARENT

POSITION -

Mummy, Mum, Mother
Daddy, Dad, The Old Man
snip

lol. Thanks Mike..nicked!
--
ßôyþëtë

BoyPete wrote:
Mike wrote:
Job Description - PARENT

POSITION -

Mummy, Mum, Mother
Daddy, Dad, The Old Man
snip

lol. Thanks Mike..nicked!
--
ßôyþëtë

LOL - son turns 18 on Monday - think I've been doing this role forever
- mam AND dad...surely uni...11 months and counting can't be half as
expensive/draining?
take tonights phone call after ten hours at work:
Me: "What would you like for dinner?
Son: " I'm busy!" SLAM of phone
Return home: "don't talk to me like that"
Son: " soz I had the runs can I borrow a tenner ....mummy?"
Aww gotta count the days....

LW...

Little Weed wrote:
BoyPete wrote:
Mike wrote:
Job Description - PARENT

POSITION -

Mummy, Mum, Mother
Daddy, Dad, The Old Man
snip

lol. Thanks Mike..nicked!
--
ßôyþëtë

LOL - son turns 18 on Monday - think I've been doing this role forever
- mam AND dad...surely uni...11 months and counting can't be half as
expensive/draining?
take tonights phone call after ten hours at work:
Me: "What would you like for dinner?
Son: " I'm busy!" SLAM of phone
Return home: "don't talk to me like that"
Son: " soz I had the runs can I borrow a tenner ....mummy?"
Aww gotta count the days....

LW...

My lads 13. Lives with mum, but comes to my place after school every day,
and all weekend. I don't have a 'living room' any more, it's a games room. 3
PC's and 2 laptops. Him and his mates rule, lol. I need a wholesale supplier
of crisps and flavoured water. Oh, don't forget the Nintendo cube, PS2,
the the pre-ordered Nintendo WII. Thats life
--
ßôyþëtë