Hi, I wonder if any one can offer guidance on a problem that I have with a neighbour. A number of years ago we bought our house of a lady who moved into the cottage next door. What we hadn't appreciated was that she would (in our opinion) struggle to watch someone else do things differently in her former property. We have a shared boundary and in the past few years have experienced any number of issues with her apparent disregard for that boundary.
On one part of the boundary fence we have a very well established ceanothus (which has suffered this winter) it does not extend over fence into her garden but has grown to about 18ins above the height of the fence. It also extends about 3 or 4 feet back into our garden. A couple of days ago I discovered that our neighbour had used a power tool with a long handled extension to lean over into our garden and cut away the shrub so that no part of it is above the line of the fence. When I challenged her about it she said it had been annoying her, when I pointed out that she had no right to do that and would she please stop interfering with us and our garden she simply said " what are you going to do about it" and "get a life". Bearing in mind that this lady has a laurel hedge on the same boundary fence that is at least 3 feet above the fence line and we have absolutely no issue with it, we are struggling to understand why she feels the need to do these things, but more importantly we just want her to stop. It is only a hedge, and we don't want to " lose the plot" but this is just one of a series of incidents and is beginning to get us down. We have no interest in " tit for tat" activities but we do need to do something to make this stop.
Any thoughts would be much appreciated.
Paul

In article , Paul.C.7fa75b6
@gardenbanter.co.uk says...

Hi, I wonder if any one can offer guidance on a problem that I have with
a neighbour. A number of years ago we bought our house of a lady who
moved into the cottage next door. What we hadn't appreciated was that
she would (in our opinion) struggle to watch someone else do things
differently in her former property. We have a shared boundary and in the
past few years have experienced any number of issues with her apparent
disregard for that boundary.
On one part of the boundary fence we have a very well established
ceanothus which does not extend over fence into her garden but has grown
to about 18ins above the height of the fence. It also extends about 3 or
4 feet back into our garden. A couple of days ago I discovered that our
neighbour had used a power tool with a long handled extension to lean
over into our garden and cut away the shrub so that no part of it is
above the line of the fence. When I challenged her about it she said it
had been annoying her, when I pointed out that she had no right to do
that and would she please stop interfering with us and our garden she
simply said " what are you going to do about it" and "get a life".
Bearing in mind that this lady has a laurel hedge on the same boundary
fence that is at least 3 feet above the fence line and we have
absolutely no issue with it, we are struggling to understand why she
feels the need to do these things, but more importantly we just want her
to stop. It is only a hedge, and we don't want to " lose the plot" but
this is just one of a series of incidents and is beginning to get us
down. We have no interest in " tit for tat" activities but we do need to
do something to make this stop.
Any thoughts would be much appreciated.
Paul

If she moved/downsized because she's elderly/impoverished/widowed it
would be worth considering if age-related dementia/mental deterioration is
in play? Longer-term neighbours may be able to shed some light on that.

Janet

"Paul C" wrote in message
...

Hi, I wonder if any one can offer guidance on a problem that I have with
a neighbour. A number of years ago we bought our house of a lady who
moved into the cottage next door. What we hadn't appreciated was that
she would (in our opinion) struggle to watch someone else do things
differently in her former property. We have a shared boundary and in the
past few years have experienced any number of issues with her apparent
disregard for that boundary.
On one part of the boundary fence we have a very well established
ceanothus which does not extend over fence into her garden but has grown
to about 18ins above the height of the fence. It also extends about 3 or
4 feet back into our garden. A couple of days ago I discovered that our
neighbour had used a power tool with a long handled extension to lean
over into our garden and cut away the shrub so that no part of it is
above the line of the fence. When I challenged her about it she said it
had been annoying her, when I pointed out that she had no right to do
that and would she please stop interfering with us and our garden she
simply said " what are you going to do about it" and "get a life".
Bearing in mind that this lady has a laurel hedge on the same boundary
fence that is at least 3 feet above the fence line and we have
absolutely no issue with it, we are struggling to understand why she
feels the need to do these things, but more importantly we just want her
to stop. It is only a hedge, and we don't want to " lose the plot" but
this is just one of a series of incidents and is beginning to get us
down. We have no interest in " tit for tat" activities but we do need to
do something to make this stop.
Any thoughts would be much appreciated.
Paul




--
Paul C

Paul if it has gone this far and now 'looks' as if it might get nasty
without 'action from outside' to put her in her place, and let's face it,
what she has done is certainly not on, then I would do what I did before
when I had a bit of neighbour problem. A Solicitor's letter. I had a very
large garden with 28 gardens backing onto it. 26 superb and I spent hours
chatting to them instead of working, however, 2 needed a letter. One was
coming onto the land and scattering rubbish which included bricks etc, the
other didn't want the hedge I put on the boundary and ran across the bottom
of their garden and sprayed weed killer on it.

Put a stop to both of them. They've got flats there now instead ;-)

Mike



--

....................................
Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive
....................................

She's out of order on that. It is your property and she has caused damage.

On the other hand, should you come to sell the property, you have to tell the potential buyer (if asked - and their estate agent will have it as a standard question on their form) of any neighbour disputes, and it may deter potential buyers. So you need to bear this in mind if you think it is likely that you'll want to sell while she's still living next door.

You could consider pure defence - as I understand it, you are allowed to build a boundary wall or fence to 2m without planing permission. I'd consider a second fence just inside your property (so you don't have to get any agreement) to the full 2m, which should cut down her ability to attack with power tools.

You could also decide now what action of hers would be absolutely beyond the limit, and the stage at which you would seek legal advice. For example, what if she decided that weedkiller would be better than power tools? It's easy to let things escalate bit by bit to beyond tolerable.

"Janet" wrote rg...

, Paul. says...

Hi, I wonder if any one can offer guidance on a problem that I have with
a neighbour. A number of years ago we bought our house of a lady who
moved into the cottage next door. What we hadn't appreciated was that
she would (in our opinion) struggle to watch someone else do things
differently in her former property. We have a shared boundary and in the
past few years have experienced any number of issues with her apparent
disregard for that boundary.
On one part of the boundary fence we have a very well established
ceanothus which does not extend over fence into her garden but has grown
to about 18ins above the height of the fence. It also extends about 3 or
4 feet back into our garden. A couple of days ago I discovered that our
neighbour had used a power tool with a long handled extension to lean
over into our garden and cut away the shrub so that no part of it is
above the line of the fence. When I challenged her about it she said it
had been annoying her, when I pointed out that she had no right to do
that and would she please stop interfering with us and our garden she
simply said " what are you going to do about it" and "get a life".
Bearing in mind that this lady has a laurel hedge on the same boundary
fence that is at least 3 feet above the fence line and we have
absolutely no issue with it, we are struggling to understand why she
feels the need to do these things, but more importantly we just want her
to stop. It is only a hedge, and we don't want to " lose the plot" but
this is just one of a series of incidents and is beginning to get us
down. We have no interest in " tit for tat" activities but we do need to
do something to make this stop.
Any thoughts would be much appreciated.
Paul

If she moved/downsized because she's elderly/impoverished/widowed it
would be worth considering if age-related dementia/mental deterioration is
in play? Longer-term neighbours may be able to shed some light on that.

.........................................

That was my first thought too, deterioration takes place so slowly sometimes
and in so many different ways it's only when it becomes obvious, perhaps
years later, that you realise how long ago it actually started.
Ask other neighbours if they have noticed any changes in her and try to get
them on your side.
Of course she may be just a cantankerous old bitch in which case you may
need to resort to legal advise. The local Citizens Advise Bureau may be able
to help.
What ever you do do not react to her or any legal recourse will be lost.

--
Regards
Bob Hobden
W.of London. UK

hi paul, what she did was criminal damage, i would tell her that if she does anything like it again you will be forced to report it as a crime, i would...also tell her you will let her off for the cost of putting the matter right this time, but any more and she must pay.. if she slashed your cars tyres she would be charged with criminal damage so why should she get away with causing damage to any other of your property. good luck.. spinksy

"Bob Hobden" wrote in message
...


"Janet" wrote rg...

, Paul. says...

Hi, I wonder if any one can offer guidance on a problem that I have with
a neighbour. A number of years ago we bought our house of a lady who
moved into the cottage next door. What we hadn't appreciated was that
she would (in our opinion) struggle to watch someone else do things
differently in her former property. We have a shared boundary and in the
past few years have experienced any number of issues with her apparent
disregard for that boundary.
On one part of the boundary fence we have a very well established
ceanothus which does not extend over fence into her garden but has grown
to about 18ins above the height of the fence. It also extends about 3 or
4 feet back into our garden. A couple of days ago I discovered that our
neighbour had used a power tool with a long handled extension to lean
over into our garden and cut away the shrub so that no part of it is
above the line of the fence. When I challenged her about it she said it
had been annoying her, when I pointed out that she had no right to do
that and would she please stop interfering with us and our garden she
simply said " what are you going to do about it" and "get a life".
Bearing in mind that this lady has a laurel hedge on the same boundary
fence that is at least 3 feet above the fence line and we have
absolutely no issue with it, we are struggling to understand why she
feels the need to do these things, but more importantly we just want her
to stop. It is only a hedge, and we don't want to " lose the plot" but
this is just one of a series of incidents and is beginning to get us
down. We have no interest in " tit for tat" activities but we do need to
do something to make this stop.
Any thoughts would be much appreciated.
Paul

If she moved/downsized because she's elderly/impoverished/widowed it
would be worth considering if age-related dementia/mental deterioration is
in play? Longer-term neighbours may be able to shed some light on that.

........................................

That was my first thought too, deterioration takes place so slowly
sometimes and in so many different ways it's only when it becomes obvious,
perhaps years later, that you realise how long ago it actually started.
Ask other neighbours if they have noticed any changes in her and try to
get them on your side.
Of course she may be just a cantankerous old bitch in which case you may
need to resort to legal advise. The local Citizens Advise Bureau may be
able to help.
What ever you do do not react to her or any legal recourse will be lost.

--
Regards
Bob Hobden
W.of London. UK



""The local Citizens Advise Bureau may be able to help."

and do what?

This person is trespassing, all be it in the air, on the OP's land and
damaging their property, just as two of my neighbours were 'damaging' my
property. In my case, had all 28 neighbours been ""IN MY EYES" doing
something wrong, then "I" would have been at fault, but with only two, I
flung the book at them.

The OP needs to do the same.

NO messing, no phaffing around.

Mike

--

....................................
Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive
....................................

On Mar 19, 2:40*pm, Paul C wrote:
Hi, I wonder if any one can offer guidance on a problem that I have with
a neighbour. A number of years ago we bought our house of a lady who
moved into the cottage next door. What we hadn't appreciated was that
she would (in our opinion) struggle to watch someone else do things
differently in her former property. We have a shared boundary and in the
past few years have experienced any number of issues with her apparent
disregard for that boundary.
On one part of the boundary fence we have a very well established
ceanothus which does not extend over fence into her garden but has grown
to about 18ins above the height of the fence. It also extends about 3 or
4 feet back into our garden. A couple of days ago I discovered that our
neighbour had used a power tool with a long handled extension to lean
over into our garden and cut away the shrub so that no part of it is
above the line of the fence. When I challenged her about it she said it
had been annoying her, when I pointed out that she had no right to do
that and *would she please stop interfering with us and our garden she
simply said " what are you going to do about it" and "get a life".
Bearing in mind that this lady has a laurel hedge on the same boundary
fence that is at least 3 feet above the fence line and we have
absolutely no issue with it, we are struggling to understand why she
feels the need to do these things, but more importantly we just want her
to stop. *It is only a hedge, and we don't want to " lose the plot" but
this is just one of a series of incidents and is beginning to get us
down. We have no interest in " tit for tat" activities but we do need to
do something to make this stop.
Any thoughts would be much appreciated.
Paul

--
Paul C

Get a life. Relax. Don't worry about such trivia.
Even if you do send a solicitor's letter, she'll probably have
forgotten about it in a couple of weeks if she's as barmy as you say.

FFS, it's only a few twigs!
I let my nieghbours do what they like to my extensive hedges, it saves
me the work, I ecourage them. Be cunning. Ask her to do some more,
she'll soon get fed up.
You need some training in man/old fart management.

Just record the incident in case she goes completely bonkers.

What will you do if she ignores/forgets about any letter? Get her put
in jail? You'll look really good in the local rag.

Remember, you may well end up the same yourself one day.
Ignore the drivel posted above. Live and let live.
F. solicitors, they can starve for me.

On Sat, 19 Mar 2011 14:40:22 +0000, Paul C
wrote:


Hi, I wonder if any one can offer guidance on a problem that I have with
a neighbour. A number of years ago we bought our house of a lady who
moved into the cottage next door. What we hadn't appreciated was that
she would (in our opinion) struggle to watch someone else do things
differently in her former property. We have a shared boundary and in the
past few years have experienced any number of issues with her apparent
disregard for that boundary.
On one part of the boundary fence we have a very well established
ceanothus which does not extend over fence into her garden but has grown
to about 18ins above the height of the fence. It also extends about 3 or
4 feet back into our garden. A couple of days ago I discovered that our
neighbour had used a power tool with a long handled extension to lean
over into our garden and cut away the shrub so that no part of it is
above the line of the fence. When I challenged her about it she said it
had been annoying her, when I pointed out that she had no right to do
that and would she please stop interfering with us and our garden she
simply said " what are you going to do about it" and "get a life".
Bearing in mind that this lady has a laurel hedge on the same boundary
fence that is at least 3 feet above the fence line and we have
absolutely no issue with it, we are struggling to understand why she
feels the need to do these things, but more importantly we just want her
to stop. It is only a hedge, and we don't want to " lose the plot" but
this is just one of a series of incidents and is beginning to get us
down. We have no interest in " tit for tat" activities but we do need to
do something to make this stop.
Any thoughts would be much appreciated.
Paul

On the face of it, what she did was illegal, full stop. But given the
property history it may be that she was doing what she thought was
best and when you reacted she reacted against your reaction, if you
get the drift. It may be that her age is a factor, a combination of
the sort of mental deterioration we all hope we don't have to suffer
personally (but won't realise fully if we do!) and the mental attitude
of her generation that hates to see something not being just as she
thinks it should be. Maybe she hasn't fully accepted that she doesn't
own the property any more.

You mention that this is one in a series of incidents but don't go
into detaill so I'm only responding to the one you've now mentioned.

How well do you know her? If only as since buying the property it
would be worth "casually" chatting to neighbours to find out what
she's been like over time. Depending on the outcome, a friendly rather
than a confrontational approach might be the way forward. Or maybe (if
there are any) contact her son/daughter to chat about the situation
and seek their help.

Be very careful about taking things forward in a more formal way
(through solicitor etc.). Property disputes can be very troublesome
and, these days, can impact adversely should you come to sell the
house (particularly if she is still next door). Any recourse to
solicitors etc., should be an absolute last resort. Potentially you
could be talking about an injunction that you won't be able to hide
from a future purchaser of your home. And formal action could make
matters far worse than they are now.

That said, I would be worried about someone who might be "getting old
mentally" but who is physically fit enough to use (and owns) some
unspecified power tool!

Whatever you do, don't react on a "like for like" basis (e.g. by
cutting down the laurel) - you say you're not interested in this now
but if the frustration continues, it could become difficult to remain
not interested! But you must.

Jake

Paul C wrote in news:Paul.C.7fa75b6
@gardenbanter.co.uk:


Hi, I wonder if any one can offer guidance on a problem that I have with
a neighbour. A number of years ago we bought our house of a lady who
moved into the cottage next door. What we hadn't appreciated was that
she would (in our opinion) struggle to watch someone else do things
differently in her former property. We have a shared boundary and in the
past few years have experienced any number of issues with her apparent
disregard for that boundary.
On one part of the boundary fence we have a very well established
ceanothus which does not extend over fence into her garden but has grown
to about 18ins above the height of the fence. It also extends about 3 or
4 feet back into our garden. A couple of days ago I discovered that our
neighbour had used a power tool with a long handled extension to lean
over into our garden and cut away the shrub so that no part of it is
above the line of the fence. When I challenged her about it she said it
had been annoying her, when I pointed out that she had no right to do
that and would she please stop interfering with us and our garden she
simply said " what are you going to do about it" and "get a life".
Bearing in mind that this lady has a laurel hedge on the same boundary
fence that is at least 3 feet above the fence line and we have
absolutely no issue with it, we are struggling to understand why she
feels the need to do these things, but more importantly we just want her
to stop. It is only a hedge, and we don't want to " lose the plot" but
this is just one of a series of incidents and is beginning to get us
down. We have no interest in " tit for tat" activities but we do need to
do something to make this stop.
Any thoughts would be much appreciated.
Paul





You could try befriending her. She might be lonely and seeking attention.
Cut some flowers that you might have, invite her over for drinks or a meal.
You might enjoy her company.
Of course she might be a stubborn and spiteful old bat, but I have found a
little bit of friendliness can soften the hardest heart.

Baz

On Mar 21, 1:01*pm, Baz wrote:
Paul C wrote in news:Paul.C.7fa75b6
@gardenbanter.co.uk:







Hi, I wonder if any one can offer guidance on a problem that I have with
a neighbour. A number of years ago we bought our house of a lady who
moved into the cottage next door. What we hadn't appreciated was that
she would (in our opinion) struggle to watch someone else do things
differently in her former property. We have a shared boundary and in the
past few years have experienced any number of issues with her apparent
disregard for that boundary.
On one part of the boundary fence we have a very well established
ceanothus which does not extend over fence into her garden but has grown
to about 18ins above the height of the fence. It also extends about 3 or
4 feet back into our garden. A couple of days ago I discovered that our
neighbour had used a power tool with a long handled extension to lean
over into our garden and cut away the shrub so that no part of it is
above the line of the fence. When I challenged her about it she said it
had been annoying her, when I pointed out that she had no right to do
that and *would she please stop interfering with us and our garden she
simply said " what are you going to do about it" and "get a life".
Bearing in mind that this lady has a laurel hedge on the same boundary
fence that is at least 3 feet above the fence line and we have
absolutely no issue with it, we are struggling to understand why she
feels the need to do these things, but more importantly we just want her
to stop. *It is only a hedge, and we don't want to " lose the plot" but
this is just one of a series of incidents and is beginning to get us
down. We have no interest in " tit for tat" activities but we do need to
do something to make this stop.
Any thoughts would be much appreciated.
Paul

You could try befriending her. She might be lonely and seeking attention.
Cut some flowers that you might have, invite her over for drinks or a meal.
You might enjoy her company.
Of course she might be a stubborn and spiteful old bat, but I have found a
little bit of friendliness can soften the hardest heart.

Baz- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Quite right Baz. I can't believe the nasty, spitefull advice being
handed out by others. It's unBritish.

Finished th digging yet BTW?

What she has done amount to frustrated criminal damage, send her a solicitors letter saying she has given up, by sale of her property over to the new owners her rights to cut the shrub no more than to remove 'overhang'.
Have a camcorder handy in upstairs room to video furture actions to be used in court. You could also ask if she could tighten the 'screw that's loose'.
Been there done that so to speak....had one myself.

Thank you to everyone for taking the time to post comments. We've actually been in this situation for several years, ( and to the person who mentioned that "its just a few twigs" there have been a series of incidents). We've tried befriending her, a bottle of wine at Xmas etc, as a family we helped her when she had intruders in a field that she owns and my son in particular spent quite alot of time helping to clear up. She runs a successful antiques business and I honestly don't believe that she has dementia, she is just used to getting her own way and doesn't have time for people who disagree with her.
In the greater scheme of things it isn't massively important, its just not very pleasant to have someone damage parts of your property and then look you in the eye and say " so what are you going to do about it".
I'll sleep on it for a few days and then decide what to do.

Many thanks
Paul

On Mon, 21 Mar 2011 21:21:15 +0000, Paul C wrote
(in article ):

'Baz[_3_ Wrote: ;915543']Paul C wrote in

news:Paul.C.7fa75b6
@gardenbanter.co.uk:
-

Hi, I wonder if any one can offer guidance on a problem that I have with
a neighbour. A number of years ago we bought our house of a lady who
moved into the cottage next door. What we hadn't appreciated was that
she would (in our opinion) struggle to watch someone else do things
differently in her former property. We have a shared boundary and in the
past few years have experienced any number of issues with her apparent
disregard for that boundary.
On one part of the boundary fence we have a very well established
ceanothus which does not extend over fence into her garden but has grown
to about 18ins above the height of the fence. It also extends about 3 or
4 feet back into our garden. A couple of days ago I discovered that our
neighbour had used a power tool with a long handled extension to lean
over into our garden and cut away the shrub so that no part of it is
above the line of the fence. When I challenged her about it she said it
had been annoying her, when I pointed out that she had no right to do
that and would she please stop interfering with us and our garden she
simply said " what are you going to do about it" and "get a life".
Bearing in mind that this lady has a laurel hedge on the same boundary
fence that is at least 3 feet above the fence line and we have
absolutely no issue with it, we are struggling to understand why she
feels the need to do these things, but more importantly we just want her
to stop. It is only a hedge, and we don't want to " lose the plot" but
this is just one of a series of incidents and is beginning to get us
down. We have no interest in " tit for tat" activities but we do need to
do something to make this stop.
Any thoughts would be much appreciated.
Paul



-

You could try befriending her. She might be lonely and seeking attention.
Cut some flowers that you might have, invite her over for drinks or a
meal.
You might enjoy her company.
Of course she might be a stubborn and spiteful old bat, but I have found a
little bit of friendliness can soften the hardest heart.

Baz


Thank you to everyone for taking the time to post comments. We'veactually
been in this situation for several years, ( and to the personwho mentioned
that "its just a few twigs" there have been a series ofincidents). We've
tried befriending her, a bottle of wine at Xmas etc,as a family we helped her

when she had intruders in a field that sheowns and my son in particular spent

quite alot of time helping to clearup. She runs a successful antiques
business and I honestly don't believethat she has dementia, she is just used
to getting her own way anddoesn't have time for people who disagree with her.

In the greater scheme of things it isn't massively important, its justnot
very pleasant to have someone damage parts of your property and thenlook you
in the eye and say " so what are you going to do about it".
I'll sleep on it for a few days and then decide what to do.

Many thanks


Not been on here for a while and have only just seen this, but we had a
similar situation with a neighbour cutting our mixed hedge (during the
nesting season too) well over the boundary.

What we actually did was to put in a 2 metre high fence on the boundary. I
appreciate that you already have a fence, but it might be worth replacing it
with a higher one that she cannot reach over.

That way you have solved the problem without any nastiness.

--
Sally in Shropshire, UK
Posted through uk.rec.gardening

"Sacha" wrote in message
...
On 2011-03-22 15:49:10 +0000, Sally Thompson
said:

On Mon, 21 Mar 2011 21:21:15 +0000, Paul C wrote
(in article ):

'Baz[_3_ Wrote: ;915543']Paul C
wrote in

news:Paul.C.7fa75b6
@gardenbanter.co.uk:
-

Hi, I wonder if any one can offer guidance on a problem that I have
with
a neighbour. A number of years ago we bought our house of a lady who
moved into the cottage next door. What we hadn't appreciated was that
she would (in our opinion) struggle to watch someone else do things
differently in her former property. We have a shared boundary and in
the
past few years have experienced any number of issues with her apparent
disregard for that boundary.
On one part of the boundary fence we have a very well established
ceanothus which does not extend over fence into her garden but has
grown
to about 18ins above the height of the fence. It also extends about 3
or
4 feet back into our garden. A couple of days ago I discovered that
our
neighbour had used a power tool with a long handled extension to lean
over into our garden and cut away the shrub so that no part of it is
above the line of the fence. When I challenged her about it she said
it
had been annoying her, when I pointed out that she had no right to do
that and would she please stop interfering with us and our garden she
simply said " what are you going to do about it" and "get a life".
Bearing in mind that this lady has a laurel hedge on the same boundary
fence that is at least 3 feet above the fence line and we have
absolutely no issue with it, we are struggling to understand why she
feels the need to do these things, but more importantly we just want
her
to stop. It is only a hedge, and we don't want to " lose the plot"
but
this is just one of a series of incidents and is beginning to get us
down. We have no interest in " tit for tat" activities but we do need
to
do something to make this stop.
Any thoughts would be much appreciated.
Paul



-

You could try befriending her. She might be lonely and seeking
attention.
Cut some flowers that you might have, invite her over for drinks or a
meal.
You might enjoy her company.
Of course she might be a stubborn and spiteful old bat, but I have
found a
little bit of friendliness can soften the hardest heart.

Baz


Thank you to everyone for taking the time to post comments.
We'veactually
been in this situation for several years, ( and to the personwho
mentioned
that "its just a few twigs" there have been a series ofincidents). We've
tried befriending her, a bottle of wine at Xmas etc,as a family we
helped her

when she had intruders in a field that sheowns and my son in particular
spent

quite alot of time helping to clearup. She runs a successful antiques
business and I honestly don't believethat she has dementia, she is just
used
to getting her own way anddoesn't have time for people who disagree with
her.

In the greater scheme of things it isn't massively important, its
justnot
very pleasant to have someone damage parts of your property and thenlook
you
in the eye and say " so what are you going to do about it".
I'll sleep on it for a few days and then decide what to do.

Many thanks


Not been on here for a while and have only just seen this, but we had a
similar situation with a neighbour cutting our mixed hedge (during the
nesting season too) well over the boundary.

What we actually did was to put in a 2 metre high fence on the boundary.
I
appreciate that you already have a fence, but it might be worth replacing
it
with a higher one that she cannot reach over.

That way you have solved the problem without any nastiness.

And possibly a plastic coated metal one that can't be hacked back with
shears or easily damaged? Grow very prickly things on the boundary? Or
simply say that this behaviour is unacceptable, you don't want things to
escalate but if you have to take further steps you will - all done
politely, pleasantly but firmly. It sounds to me as if she's trying it
on. I think the fact you've posted here in a calm fashion, asking for
help and advice, indicates you're not likely to go off the deep end and
she knows it but likes something to 'shove against'. Perhaps it's time
for a gentle 'shove' back. I have known another elderly woman who
actually 'needed' someone to fight with, strong-minded, intelligent, used
to getting her own way etc. This sounds like just such another. A firm
but polite approach in which you hold your ground may be needed here.
--
Sacha
South Devon



Like I said before right at the beginning of the thread .......

""""Paul if it has gone this far and now 'looks' as if it might get nasty
without 'action from outside' to put her in her place, and let's face it,
what she has done is certainly not on, then I would do what I did before
when I had a bit of neighbour problem. A Solicitor's letter. I had a very
large garden with 28 gardens backing onto it. 26 superb and I spent hours
chatting to them instead of working, however, 2 needed a letter. One was
coming onto the land and scattering rubbish which included bricks etc, the
other didn't want the hedge I put on the boundary and ran across the bottom
of their garden and sprayed weed killer on it.

Put a stop to both of them. They've got flats there now instead ;-)

Kindest POSSIBLE regards

Mike

:-)))

And what a wonderful day it has been :-))

--

....................................
Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive
....................................