We need a thick rapid-growing alpine evergreen climber which is not
thorny. Are we just fantasizing? Does such a plant exist?

We are stuck with a Calor LPG tank, painted a very light green, in a
corner of the front garden and it sticks out like a sore thumb.

Firstly, we put a wooden trellis around it, painted it dark green, and
then put in two clematis plants, one of which has taken quite well but
of course for most of the year they're both leafless and provide next to
no camouflage, so they weren't such a good idea.

Next we put in three or four ivy plants, hoping they would take off, but
they just haven't. Maybe it's too cold where we are.

So then we put three rhododendrons in front of the trellis, and they are
coming along nicely, but it's going to be at least 10 years before they
grow so tall and dense that they hide the tank from view.

So, is there such a thing as a thick rapidly-growing alpine evergreen
climber? We're 150 metres above sea-level here and so it can be awfully
cold in winter, plus we're in something of a wind-tunnel. (It looks
like last winter's cold and winds may have killed off a well-established
young viburnum and a young laurel!). The ideal plant has also to be
non-thorny - or the LPG supplier could complain about getting scratched
when they deliver.

Thanks,
Eddy.

P.S. Have been driven to consider just wrapping the tank in a black
tarpaulin but have learnt that that would contravene the safety
regulations. And of course we're not permitted to paint the tank, and
even if you could it would have to be in a light colour so as not to
cause the tank to absorb heat!