#1   Report Post  
Old 15-03-2007, 12:54 AM posted to rec.gardens
external usenet poster
 
First recorded activity by GardenBanter: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,318
Default lawns

To winterize or
not to winterize lawn









"Winterize your lawn", the big sign outside the garden store commanded. I've
fed it, watered it, mowed it, raked it and watched a lot of it die away. Now
I'm supposed to winterize it? I hope it's too late. Grass lawns have to be
the stupidest thing we've come up with outside of a thong swimsuits! We
constantly battle dandelions, Queen's lace, thistle, violets, chicory and
clover that thrive naturally, so we can grow grass that must be nursed
through an annual four-step chemical dependency.



Imagine the conversation The Creator might have with St. Francis about this:



"Frank you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on
down there in the Midwest? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle
and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan.
Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with
abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracted butterflies,
honeybees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors
by now. But all I see are these green rectangles."



" It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites.

They started calling your flowers "weeds" and went to great extent to kill
them and replace them with grass".



" Grass? But its so boring. Its not colorful. It doesn't attract
butterflies, birds and bees, Only grubs and sod worms. Its' temperamental
with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that green grass
growing there?



" Apparently so, Lord, They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green.
They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poising any other plant that
crops up in the lawn".



" The spring rains and cool weather probably make grass grow really fast.
That must make the Suburbanites happy".



" Not exactly, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it-sometimes
twice a week".



" They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?"



" Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags."



" They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?"



" No, sir. Just the opposite. They pay to throw it away".



" Now let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And
when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?"



" Yes, sir."



" These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the
rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot
of work."



" You aren't going to believe this Lord. When the grass stops growing so
fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can
continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it."



" What nonsense! At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer
stroke of genius,

if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty
an d shade in the summer . In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a
natural blanket

to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they
rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of
life."



" You better sit down, Lord. The suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As
soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and have them
hauled away."



" No! What do they do to protect the shrub and the tree roots in the winter
and keep the soil moist and loose?"



" After throwing away your leaves, they go out and buy something they call
mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in the place of leaves."



" and where do they get this mulch?"



" They cut down trees and grind them up."



"Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. Saint Catherine, you're
in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?"



" Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It's a real stupid movie about.



" Never mind I think I just heard the whole story."


  #2   Report Post  
Old 15-03-2007, 04:42 AM posted to rec.gardens
external usenet poster
 
First recorded activity by GardenBanter: Jul 2006
Posts: 231
Default lawns

http://weloveteaching.com/landscape/gravel/gravel.htm


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
List Manager: Puregold Goldfish List at
http://weloveteaching.com/puregold/
sign up: http://groups.google.com/groups/dir?...s=Group+lookup
www.drsolo.com
Solve the problem, dont waste energy finding who's to blame
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I receive no compensation for running the Puregold list or Puregold website.
I do not run nor receive any money from the ads at the old Puregold site.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zone 5 next to Lake Michigan
  #3   Report Post  
Old 15-03-2007, 12:28 PM posted to rec.gardens
external usenet poster
 
First recorded activity by GardenBanter: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,392
Default lawns

"symplastless" wrote in message
...
To winterize or
not to winterize lawn


"Winterize your lawn", the big sign outside the garden store commanded.
I've fed it, watered it, mowed it, raked it and watched a lot of it die
away. Now I'm supposed to winterize it? I hope it's too late. Grass lawns
have to be the stupidest thing we've come up with outside of a thong
swimsuits! We constantly battle dandelions, Queen's lace, thistle,
violets, chicory and clover that thrive naturally, so we can grow grass
that must be nursed through an annual four-step chemical dependency.



I hate changing the lawn's oil every autumn.


  #4   Report Post  
Old 15-03-2007, 02:48 PM posted to rec.gardens
external usenet poster
 
First recorded activity by GardenBanter: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,392
Default lawns

"Michael "Dog3" Lonergan" wrote in message
6.121...
"JoeSpareBedroom"
:

"symplastless" wrote in message
...
To winterize
or
not to winterize lawn


"Winterize your lawn", the big sign outside the garden store
commanded. I've fed it, watered it, mowed it, raked it and watched a
lot of it die away. Now I'm supposed to winterize it? I hope it's too
late. Grass lawns have to be the stupidest thing we've come up with
outside of a thong swimsuits! We constantly battle dandelions,
Queen's lace, thistle, violets, chicory and clover that thrive
naturally, so we can grow grass that must be nursed through an annual
four-step chemical dependency.



I hate changing the lawn's oil every autumn.


I hate the lawn... period. If I had my complete say about it; I would dig
it all up and have a giant flower garden.

Michael - thinks grass is a parasitic nuisance



It's also the biggest cause of chemical pollution in this country now.
Farming's no longer at the top of the list. Chemical-heads will prefer not
to believe this, though.


  #5   Report Post  
Old 15-03-2007, 04:18 PM posted to rec.gardens
external usenet poster
 
First recorded activity by GardenBanter: Jan 2007
Posts: 27
Default lawns


"Michael "Dog3" Lonergan" wrote in message news

I hate the lawn... period. If I had my complete say about it; I would dig
it all up and have a giant flower garden.



I did.


--
Toni
South Florida USA
USDA Zone 10
http://www.cearbhaill.com





  #6   Report Post  
Old 15-03-2007, 06:09 PM posted to rec.gardens
external usenet poster
 
First recorded activity by GardenBanter: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,318
Default lawns

Just a word of caution. If you have turf about your trees its important to
know that the grass roots grow deeper than the non-woody absorbing roots of
trees. Dig out the turf roots and the absorbing tree roots go. We suggest
to cut the turf low and place mulch on top. more on mulch under mulch at
www.treedictionary.com

or

http://home.ccil.org/~treeman/sub3.html


--
Sincerely,
John A. Keslick, Jr.
Arborist
http://home.ccil.org/~treeman
and www.treedictionary.com
Beware of so-called tree experts who do not understand tree biology.
Storms, fires, floods, earthquakes, and volcanic eruptions keep reminding us
that we are not the boss.

"Cearbhaill" wrote in message
...

"Michael "Dog3" Lonergan" wrote in message news

I hate the lawn... period. If I had my complete say about it; I would
dig
it all up and have a giant flower garden.



I did.


--
Toni
South Florida USA
USDA Zone 10
http://www.cearbhaill.com





Reply
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules

Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Lawns & God Bruce Yates Gardening 13 18-06-2003 11:56 PM
Green Lawns NoGi Australia 5 05-04-2003 06:36 AM
Lawns - Mind your own business - and it does [email protected] United Kingdom 2 14-03-2003 08:53 AM
Field Woodrush in Lawns Derek Carver United Kingdom 3 27-01-2003 12:02 PM
Snowdrops in Lawns - especially mine! Tumbleweed United Kingdom 0 16-10-2002 06:51 AM


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 10:06 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright ©2004-2024 GardenBanter.co.uk.
The comments are property of their posters.
 

About Us

"It's about Gardening"

 

Copyright © 2017