In article , "Larry Smith"
wrote:

"Sharon" wrote in message
...
They also tend to have a "sucker list" of folks that will take them
in!
Must
be written on our mailboxes.

-Sharon


......oh!....so thats what the "s" is..LOL!!

Yeah - their spelling is a bit off, but the 'S' is definitely suspicous -
especially if there dirty pay prints next to it.

-Sharon



Take this illiterate mess out of ML.

....whooopse!....must not be a cat person....G...

murphy

Dear Cats:

When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions
with one another so there are still three cats in the way.

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other
dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in
the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming
your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the
slightest.

The hallway was not designed by Nascar and is not a racetrack. Beating
me to the end of the hall is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help,
because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about
this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your
comfort. Look at videos of cats sleeping; they can actually curl up in a
ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to one another
stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking
tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to
maximize space used is nothing but kitty sarcasm.

My phone cord is not black licorice.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under
the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same
door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years;
feline attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other cat's butt. I
cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.

The bathroom sink is for washing hands and was not meant to be your
personal water fountain. I'm tired of being summoned to the bathroom
when you are ready for a drink. The bowl of water in the kitchen is not
contaminated and has no floaters! So from now on you will drink from
there... I put fresh water in daily! Rules for non pet owners who visit
and like to complain about our pets.

1. The cats live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want cat hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.

3. I like my cats a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, he's a cat. To me, he's an adopted son who is short, hairy,
walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

5. **cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all
the time, are easier to train, sometimes come when called, never drive
your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink,
don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes,
don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant,
the kittens make wonderful gifts.

in article et, Mrs.
Fricker at wrote on 8/10/03 7:42 AM:

Dear Cats:

When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions
with one another so there are still three cats in the way.

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other
dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in
the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming
your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the
slightest.

The hallway was not designed by Nascar and is not a racetrack. Beating
me to the end of the hall is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help,
because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about
this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your
comfort. Look at videos of cats sleeping; they can actually curl up in a
ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to one another
stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking
tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to
maximize space used is nothing but kitty sarcasm.

My phone cord is not black licorice.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under
the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same
door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years;
feline attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other cat's butt. I
cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.

The bathroom sink is for washing hands and was not meant to be your
personal water fountain. I'm tired of being summoned to the bathroom
when you are ready for a drink. The bowl of water in the kitchen is not
contaminated and has no floaters! So from now on you will drink from
there... I put fresh water in daily! Rules for non pet owners who visit
and like to complain about our pets.

1. The cats live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want cat hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.

3. I like my cats a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, he's a cat. To me, he's an adopted son who is short, hairy,
walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

5. **cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all
the time, are easier to train, sometimes come when called, never drive
your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink,
don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes,
don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant,
the kittens make wonderful gifts.

This is great!!!

Karen

"Karen Chuplis" wrote in message
...
in article et, Mrs.
Fricker at wrote on 8/10/03 7:42 AM:

Dear Cats:

When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions
with one another so there are still three cats in the way.

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other
dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in
the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming
your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the
slightest.

The hallway was not designed by Nascar and is not a racetrack. Beating
me to the end of the hall is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help,
because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about
this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your
comfort. Look at videos of cats sleeping; they can actually curl up in a
ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to one another
stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking
tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to
maximize space used is nothing but kitty sarcasm.

My phone cord is not black licorice.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under
the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same
door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years;
feline attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other cat's butt. I
cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.

The bathroom sink is for washing hands and was not meant to be your
personal water fountain. I'm tired of being summoned to the bathroom
when you are ready for a drink. The bowl of water in the kitchen is not
contaminated and has no floaters! So from now on you will drink from
there... I put fresh water in daily! Rules for non pet owners who visit
and like to complain about our pets.

1. The cats live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want cat hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.

3. I like my cats a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, he's a cat. To me, he's an adopted son who is short, hairy,
walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

5. **cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all
the time, are easier to train, sometimes come when called, never drive
your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink,
don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes,
don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant,
the kittens make wonderful gifts.

This is great!!!

Karen


You poor, pathetic misanthropes! Get a life!!
Fred

In article . net, "Mrs.
Fricker" wrote:

Dear Cats:

..thanks for this....delightful!!

murphy

In article , "fred"
wrote:

This is great!!!

Karen


You poor, pathetic misanthropes! Get a life!!
Fred

..dear fred,

..get a cat...)

murphy

In article , "fred"
wrote:

[clips]

Rules for non pet owners who visit
and like to complain about our pets.

1. The cats live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want cat hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.

3. I like my cats a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, he's a cat. To me, he's an adopted son who is short, hairy,
walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

5. **cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all
the time, are easier to train, sometimes come when called, never drive
your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink,
don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes,
don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant,
the kittens make wonderful gifts.

This is great!!!

Karen


You poor, pathetic misanthropes! Get a life!!
Fred

Woe, Freddy, it's vastly more misanthropic to get that peevish over a
joke, a funny one at that. If you get yourself a kitty, you might start to
feel better.

-paghat the ratgirl

--
"Of what are you afraid, my child?" inquired the kindly teacher.
"Oh, sir! The flowers, they are wild," replied the timid creature.
-from Peter Newell's "Wild Flowers"
See the Garden of Paghat the Ratgirl: http://www.paghat.com/

I read in my local paper recently a letter someone had submitted about this
same problem. His solution was to spread crushed red pepper in the area he
wished to keep the cats from.


"Tom Jaszewski" wrote in message
...
On Mon, 21 Jul 2003 16:44:34 -0600, John DeBoo
wrote:

But since this is not the case I choose to
shoot at them with a BB gun.

DooBe,

Get over your cruelty! Are you going to tell me a bb won't hurt a
cats eye?
Oh but wait it's YOUR yard....
Come on, I have the same problem, reasonable people don't risk
blinding an innocent cat. Why not shoot the owner?

Animal behaviorist Patricia McConnel ("Calling All Pets") has
recommended citrus- or eucalyptus-scented sprays as a passive control,
and water-spray attached to a motion-detector for a "shock & awe"
effect.

10 elo 2003 Mrs. Fricker kirjoitti:

the kittens make wonderful gifts.

*Bzzzzt* Anything living is NOT a good gift.

--
Jari Vuoksenranta

"170 226 2245 3042 400"

In article , Jari Vuoksenranta
wrote:

10 elo 2003 Mrs. Fricker kirjoitti:

the kittens make wonderful gifts.

*Bzzzzt* Anything living is NOT a good gift.

You're advocating killing them first?

-paghat the ratgirl

--
"Of what are you afraid, my child?" inquired the kindly teacher.
"Oh, sir! The flowers, they are wild," replied the timid creature.
-from Peter Newell's "Wild Flowers"
See the Garden of Paghat the Ratgirl: http://www.paghat.com/

They do as long as your the one giving the gift. Not a god present to
be on the receiving end though.


On Fri, 15 Aug 2003 19:16:47 GMT, Jari Vuoksenranta
wrote:

x-10 elo 2003 Mrs. Fricker kirjoitti:
x-
x- the kittens make wonderful gifts.
x-
x-*Bzzzzt* Anything living is NOT a good gift.

--
Visit my website:
http://www.frugalmachinist.com
Contents: foundry and general metal working and lots of related projects.
Regards
Roy aka Chipmaker // Foxeye
Opinions are strictly those of my wife....I have had no input whatsoever.
Remove capital A from chipmAkr for correct email address

Jari Vuoksenranta wrote in news:Xns93D8E26BEFE07jarivnicfi@
195.197.54.116:

10 elo 2003 Mrs. Fricker kirjoitti:

the kittens make wonderful gifts.

*Bzzzzt* Anything living is NOT a good gift.


Dying plants make excellent gifts. "May our love lasts only as long as the
bloom on this rose"

oops meant to post that to soc.culture.can't.get.a.date

Karen,
Well said. I agree 100%.
Jan

Karen Chuplis wrote:

in article et, Mrs.
Fricker at wrote on 8/10/03 7:42 AM:



Dear Cats:

When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions
with one another so there are still three cats in the way.

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other
dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in
the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming
your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the
slightest.

The hallway was not designed by Nascar and is not a racetrack. Beating
me to the end of the hall is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help,
because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about
this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your
comfort. Look at videos of cats sleeping; they can actually curl up in a
ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to one another
stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking
tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to
maximize space used is nothing but kitty sarcasm.

My phone cord is not black licorice.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under
the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same
door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years;
feline attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other cat's butt. I
cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.

The bathroom sink is for washing hands and was not meant to be your
personal water fountain. I'm tired of being summoned to the bathroom
when you are ready for a drink. The bowl of water in the kitchen is not
contaminated and has no floaters! So from now on you will drink from
there... I put fresh water in daily! Rules for non pet owners who visit
and like to complain about our pets.

1. The cats live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want cat hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.

3. I like my cats a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, he's a cat. To me, he's an adopted son who is short, hairy,
walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

5. **cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all
the time, are easier to train, sometimes come when called, never drive
your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink,
don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes,
don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant,
the kittens make wonderful gifts.



This is great!!!

Karen

"paghat" wrote in message
news
In article , Jari Vuoksenranta
wrote:

10 elo 2003 Mrs. Fricker kirjoitti:

the kittens make wonderful gifts.

*Bzzzzt* Anything living is NOT a good gift.

You're advocating killing them first?

That is what one normally does with vermin :-}